To think rubbing your genitals in someone's face I assault, whatever their age?

[MargeSimpson00]

Ds got in trouble today after a scuffle. Nothing to serious, no one was hurt just some tripping/shoving. Teacher dealt with it, is keeping both boys in tomorrow as punishment. All not an issue. Ds was pretty upset when he got home and it turns out the reason he retaliated was because when he was on the floor after being tripped, the other boy 'teabagged' him. Rest of the class circled and laughed, obviously causing a lot of embarrassment to ds.

So although I'm fine with the punishment, aibu to speak to the teacher about this? I don't think it's something to brush under the carpet tbh and think it need addressing.

It’s clearly an assault, and you need to discuss it with the school.

But your son needs to be clear with you about what exactly happened. Is he genuinely saying that the other child pulled down his trousers and underwear and forced his testicles into your son’s mouth, or is he saying that he rubbed his clothed groin in your son’s face or something different?

Like I say, on any reading, it’s clearly an assault, and clearly hugely inappropriate, but if he genuinely teabagged your son, that’s on a whole other level of safeguarding concern than if he didn’t.

Did your DS explain what the boy did (putting genitals in face) or did he say 'teabagging'. When my DS was at school, they used teabagging to mean pulling someone's trousers down 🙄 Still not ok of course, but not the same level.

This exactly happened to us about three years ago.

My son had some boy sit on his face during playtime and my son came home annoyed with boy for sitting on his face and - I quote - ‘teabagging him’.

I flipped! A) some kid sat on his face and B) said kid knows and uses the word tea bagging. I don’t even know how I know what it is but turns out a hell of a lot of people don’t. The school wasn’t aware of the incident so I planned to inform the teacher when I collected my son the following day. I was livid.

However, I’m a teacher, so the next day at school I’m chatting to one of the young teachers and I tell him what happened with my son - is this a safeguarding issue (is boy exposed to sexual behaviour or material) blah blah blah

Anyway, my fellow teacher informs me that kids know about tea bagging because of FORTNITE. Apparently it’s a move one of the noob makes and that kids use the term frequently and most likely so does my son only he probably doesn’t succeed as well as the boy did.

So, yeah, I dropped it with the school but we had words about how tea bagging is inappropriate etc. And to be fair, I’ve not heard a word of it since.

@Goatsgetmygoat

Sexual assault. Must be dealt with and sends a strong message to boys of that age that is behaviour is not right

Give over screaming sexual assault 🙄 we don’t even know how old they are! If we’re talking about 6 year olds then it’s absolutely not sexual assault ffs!

It says 10. 10 is old enough to know genitals don't go in someone else's face, or get pulled out in public.

They've got the term from the game fortnite. Ds said the word a few weeks ago and I questioned him, he said on the game when they've killed someone they crouch over the person's face . I had a very open chat with ds about the meaning of the term and he was horrified/disgusted.

The boy didn't pull his pants down, he crouched over DS's face and rubbed around whilst shouting teabag.

I see they’re but but you didn’t know when you replied.

It’s boys being stupid op doing things for fun. I don’t know what I’d call it but I’d certainly give them a good telling off!

both 10

Teabagging is an gaming term. In my days, when you killed an opponent in an FPS, you would crouch over their body a few times to show dominance.
That was known as teabagging and I'd imagine that's what happened to your son, rather than the sexual term.
With the popularity of Fortnite, I'm not surprised that it's still a thing.

Yes you should. Its sexual assault. Maybe think about calling the police.

YANBU to speak to the teacher about it. Including your support for the punishment.

isn't fornite a 12 game?

I know off topic but if the boy has learnt it from an age inappropriate game then perhaps that should also be addressed.

Sorry, I've reread my op and should have stipulated that it wasn't bare genitals. I still think it needs addressing though?

Yeah they’re old enough to know better, and I’d like to think the consequences would be quite firm. If they were 5 it would be different, and more of an explanation of why it’s unacceptable and timeout, but at 10 they must know it’s particularly humiliating and unacceptable.

At 10 they could actually be arrested so it’s in those boys’ interests too that the school come down hard on that behaviour.

So the teacher is punishing your son because she allowed a sexual assault to happen in her class? Speak to the head ASAP!

I wouldn’t call the police about a 10 yo though.

Sexual assault at 10...think what that little asshole will be doing to women when he's grown up.

Yes. Sitting on someone's head and laughing is awful behaviour too.

There is history between the boys, he's quite the little darling who can do no wrong in his parents eyes. I've tried speaking to them in the past and was threatened by his df but that's another story...

I’d be phoning the headteacher first thing in the morning, not waiting for the class teacher to give you a call.

OP get back to the school in the strongest possible way. Speak to the teacher ASAP and if nothing comes back, go to the head. I would threaten police if the school don't act. The kids are old enough to know better at 10.

But if your son just thought it meant crouching over someone's face and shouting the word, is it possible the other boy did too (as in when they've killed their opponent in the game, that's what they do)? It's unlikely there was a sexual element if it's a popular gaming thing, more a dominance thing.

So while it's still not nice (and it would be fair to talk to the teacher), I think those saying it's sexual assault are being a bit OTT. I doubt there was any sexual intent there at 10, he was more likely reproducing what they do in the game.

@ConfusedAdultFemale

I’d be phoning the headteacher first thing in the morning, not waiting for the class teacher to give you a call.

I agree. This is very serious.

This is way way more than pushing/shoving.

Tell school.
I think it does have more gaming association than sexual but it's still wrong. It needs stamping out.