To not want DH to have a sex toy when I have one?
Confrontayshunme · 14/05/2021 16:18
DH recently bought me a new sex toy, which I appreciate. He mentioned in passing that he would like one and said the company emailed him an ad with male sleeve/fleshlight type toys. I don't know why, but I really don't want him to have one of these. He and I were both a bit surprised, as I am a big fan of feminism and generally favour all things being equal.
I guess I think that we use "my" toy together so I can achieve orgasm, but his would be just for him (and he has hands for that). Also, the cleanup for them seems...gross.
I wouldn't mind terribly if my DDs were teenage/adult women and knew I had toys, but I definitely don't feel the same about a silicone vagina/ass. Boak.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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pandarific · 14/05/2021 16:25
I think you’re being silly. You know you’re allowed to use your toy yourself? You know you’re allowed to orgasm yourself, whenever you like? The poor guy just fancies a go with a toy, I’m a bit at your ‘he has a hand for that’, it’s somewhat controlling and borderline shaming language.
It’s just a toy, and theyre just orgasms op. Chill.
UndeadSlut · 14/05/2021 16:28
I would feel the same as you, for the same reasons!
I think also the male orgasm is a different beast to a female one. For a man, once he's ejaculated he's "done", so if he used the toy for that then that's the end of it. When DP and I use toys together on me they're like a warm up, I have a few orgasms or at least one from that and then we are both ready for PIV.
Also, I don't have any phallic toys, ones supposed to look or feel like a penis. If DP had a thing that was "like a vagina" to play with I'd probably feel a bit weird about it.
Very anti-feminist of me of course but that's the way it is! Thankfully DP doesn't seem interested, I honestly don't know how I'd feel or what I'd do if he was!
Flugbusters4444 · 14/05/2021 16:33
My friends and I were discussing this recently actually!
The knee jerk is to feel grossed out by a man masturbating with a fake vagina, but then why is owning what is essentially a fake penis not seen as gross?
Vibrators, I guess thats a different thing and as you say, it's used by you both really.
But if you don't find dildos gross then it's unfair to find a fake vagina gross imho
Tiktokersmiracle · 14/05/2021 16:46
You are missing out
I bought DP and I some toys. Not a fleshlight but another male sex toy
It's bloody brilliant. I can get off when he has it.
Totally sorted out our sex life after years together and getting a bit samey
Best £30 I ever spent that
There's nothing wrong with men having sex toys. Rather that than an affair...
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