AIBU?
To ask for a polite way to explain maternity leave is not ‘a year off’?
TurquoiseKiss · 12/05/2021 23:25
Returned to work this week after maternity leave of 1 year. All my colleagues are nice people so I don’t think this has been meant maliciously but a few have followed “welcome back” with “I wish I could take a year off” / “what did you get up to? Any nice trips?” / “you’re looking well, must have been nice to have a year break from work” (obviously this is what happened but the tone was as if I’d gone to lay on a beach somewhere and had ‘me time’ for 12 months!).
Suggestions please of the nicest way to say: “I birthed a baby, spent 5 fairly traumatic nights on a postnatal ward with no visitors allowed, haven’t had a full nights sleep since last April, didn’t go on any trips because y’know I took the time away from work to start raising a tiny person not seek out cheap last minute jollys…Comprende!?”
Yours,
Tired Mum
Onedropbeat · 12/05/2021 23:33
I just got back after a year ‘off’ on maternity leave a few weeks ago
Pleased to say no one has joked about it being a years holiday
I’ve had quite a bit of sympathy due to it being during a pandemic.
It certainly wasn’t a years jolly holiday
But neither was my first maternity leave which wasn’t during a pandemic
Rangoon · 12/05/2021 23:35
I wouldn't worry. People said similar things when I had six weeks off for orthopaedic surgery on both feet. I mean it was great to have an orthopaedic surgeon sawing my bones and putting in a metal screw. Obviously it didnt feel like much of a holiday to me being unable to even walk for weeks.
katy1213 · 12/05/2021 23:37
You've had a year off; they've possibly had to pick up some of your work for no extra pay. They sound perfectly nice people who are welcoming you back - but nobody cares about your five traumatic nights or your lack of sleep or your tiny person because that was your choice. Spare them the details.
TurquoiseKiss · 12/05/2021 23:40
Thanks for the responses. Maybe I am being a snowflake about it, I think it’s the lack of the term “leave” that annoys me when people talk about it. As in, it gets my back up to hear “this happened while you took a year off” rather than “this happened during your maternity leave”.
Nekoness · 12/05/2021 23:42
It’s just small talk. Nobody needs to be lectured by you and have it explained to them what having a baby really entails. They just don’t want to ask about the baby/poo/sleepless nights you’ve had because ... well, they know you’ll tell them. In detail. And won’t stop.
Oinkypig · 12/05/2021 23:46
Because it is a year off work? I have also “birthed” (AKA gave birth/had) a child and had an extended stay in hospital due to a traumatic birth, personally would have preferred no visitors due to lots of random people visiting the women on the ward but I appreciate not everyone would be the same.
I had (have) a non-sleeping child. People understand mat leave isn’t a holiday but it is time off, they are just making conversation.
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