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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That car seat costs are not worthy of judgement.

211 replies

ThornAmongstRoses · 11/05/2021 08:08

I just need a rant!

Is anyone else sick of being looked at like you’ve lost your mind when people find out how much you’ve spent on a car seat?

People spend God knows how much on a next-2-me cot, but you spend the same amount on a car seat to be faced with looks of horror and, “Are you mad?” comments.

It’s socially fine to spend £500 on a fancy pram but goodness me, if you spend £150 on a car seat you’re out of your mind.

I’m finding this attitude becoming more and more frequent and I can’t understand why it’s absolutely fine to spend so much money on items as mentioned above, but it seems acceptable to sneer at those who spend £200(ish) on a car seat that can actually save your baby’s life.

You’re almost shamed for it!!

BTW - this post is in no way related to people who can’t afford to spend this amount of money on a car seat, but purely about the double standards of society.

I just don’t get it.

OP posts:

NamechangeTTC · 11/05/2021 08:09

I thought this would be about the axkid one/one +! The judgement when spending £600+ was even verbalised by the shop.

We saved and scrimped for this!

amymel2016 · 11/05/2021 08:11

I spent £350+ on one and didn’t regret it at all, people are dicks, spending £100 on a changing bag but scrimping on a car seat, madness!

NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNC · 11/05/2021 14:31

I spent 300 on car seat and 110 on pram. No one said anything. You need better friends or to avoid bored parents on social media (irony noted! )

motherloaded · 11/05/2021 14:35

I don't know, I never had anyone commenting on my choice of car seats.

Never had a comment on my £1k travel system either.

Zarinea · 11/05/2021 14:36

I've never once had a conversation about the cost of car seats.

Would find it very strange and dull if my friends brought it up regularly, whatever their views.

WhoIsH · 11/05/2021 14:36

Personally never felt judged for my car seat choice. If anything I am envious of my friends that decided to fork out for the 360 swivel seat, I would love one.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2021 14:37

Why would anyone know? I didn't have one conversation about it, never mind several.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 11/05/2021 14:37

I never commented to anyone about the cost of baby equipment. Although I didn't pay for my car seats, they were handed down from my brother. My nephew is a year older than DD and I knew they hadn't been in an accident.

Megan2018 · 11/05/2021 14:38

@motherloaded

I don't know, I never had anyone commenting on my choice of car seats.

Never had a comment on my £1k travel system either.

This.

I haven’t had any comments from anyone about any purchases. How odd!

LolaNova · 11/05/2021 14:40

Car seats are weird and divisive. I choose to have my almost 3 YO forward facing for various reasons. I know the statistics, I weighed up the pros and cons and for us the risk-benefit ratio was on the side of forward facing. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad parent or love my child any less than others who choose to spend £600 on an Axkid RF seat (which often seems to be the implication tbh).

looptheloopinahulahoop · 11/05/2021 14:41

The only judgment I ever made about car seats was when I used to see people struggling to swap them from one parent's car to the other parent's car at nursery and wondered why they didn't just buy a second car seat. At the time, mine had cost £80 and £40 respectively (this was in the days before isofix).

A friend of mine has the swivel seat - it is pretty cool!

AnnaSW1 · 11/05/2021 14:42

Never come across people caring or passing comment on this!

MoreRainbowsPlease · 11/05/2021 14:43

I have experience of this a bit. I got a rear facing car seat for ds1 when he outgrew his carry car seat. This was back in 2006 when people seemed to be in a rush to get their baby into a front facing car seat. So I had people not only tell me I was mental for how much the seat cost (a lot back then as there were only a couple of extended rear facing seats available), but also I was cruel for stopping ds1 from being able to see out the window!

However the same people who commented negatively on my choice of seat ended up buying 3 or 4 different car seats for their children as they grew whereas the seat I bought did ds1 till he was nearly 4 and then I got him a new seat so I could use his one for ds2. So even though the seat was more expensive, overall I saved money compared to my friends.

EmergencyHydrangea · 11/05/2021 14:43

I have never discussed this with anyone ever. What a mind numbingly boring conversation that would be

Notavegan · 11/05/2021 14:45

Most of the judgement is from people using expensive car seats in my experience.

Angelica789 · 11/05/2021 14:45

I can understand why it’s a touchy subject. If I spent £100 on a car seat then found out a friend had spent £600 my concern would be that she’d think I don’t value my baby’s life as much as she values the life of her own baby.

A pram is different. That’s a purely consumerist choice with no value judgement or feeling of guilt around safety attached to it.

bloodywhitecat · 11/05/2021 14:46

I have never encountered this, I have only had people say "I wish we had gone for a spin car seat..."

Caspianberg · 11/05/2021 14:50

We have a spin car seat. I doubt any neighbours or friends have a clue what car seat we have.
I do agree though. I think ours was about £300 on offer, and in-laws offered to buy and thought it was expensive, but they were happy to spend £600 instead on the pram if they had bought that instead.

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 11/05/2021 14:50

The only car seat judgement I've had is for forward facing from younger than 4. From someone who likes to go on about their car seat on Facebook. And is also anti vax...

SmidgenofaPigeon · 11/05/2021 14:52

How is this even coming up in conversation? I’m due in September but would probably die of boredom before I got into a conversation about car seats and prams and what they cost.

Although I can’t help but think some will use this thread as a stealth post and there’ll be a post or two along the lines of ‘well we spent £750 on a car seat and are now ostracised from our village, we told one person and they told everyone in the pub’ type posts

I can’t imagine anyone caring really.

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 11/05/2021 14:53

I think ours was about £300 on offer, and in-laws offered to buy and thought it was expensive, but they were happy to spend £600 instead on the pram if they had bought that instead.

Exactly. I really don’t understand it.

I’m just irritated because someone made a judgy comment to me yesterday about my new car seat (they saw the box so knew the brand) and it just really annoyed me. I felt like I was being shamed for “wasting money” on a car seat.

OP posts:

denverRegina · 11/05/2021 14:56

Why are you talking about car seats?

Is this the epitome of the baby bore conversations?

minniemomo · 11/05/2021 14:59

The only judgement I've heard recently is over forward facing, not all cars can take extended rear facing seats so those criticising are basically commenting on someone not being able to afford a bigger car. I also know from experience that the most important thing is that your seat fits your car and not all do, my parents car was a nightmare, none fitted it except the specific Peugeot one you could order from the dealer (this was 16 years ago). Fancy doesn't always mean better

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/05/2021 15:00

The only car seat I've ever judged for being too expensive was the leather version of one I saw (normal price in the £2-£300 range, leather version was £900). I did wonder exactly what the point of that was!

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 11/05/2021 15:43

Why are you talking about car seats? Is this the epitome of the baby bore conversations?

We were tired and thought if we spoke about it for long enough then hopefully we’d fall asleep.

OP posts:

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