Page 4 | That car seat costs are not worthy of judgement.

ThornAmongstRoses · 2021-05-11T07:08:19+00:00

I just need a rant! Is anyone else sick of being looked at like you’ve lost your mind when people find out how much you’ve spent on a car seat? People spend God knows how much on a next-2-me cot, but you spend the same amount on a car seat to be faced with looks of horror and, “Are you mad?” comments. It’s socially fine to spend £500 on a fancy pram but goodness me, if you spend £150 on a car seat you’re out of your mind. I’m finding this attitude becoming more and more frequent and I can’t understand why it’s absolutely fine to spend so much money on items as mentioned above, but it seems acceptable to sneer at those who spend £200(ish) on a car seat that can actually save your baby’s life. You’re almost shamed for it!! BTW - this post is in no way related to people who can’t afford to spend this amount of money on a car seat, but purely about the double standards of society. I just don’t get it.

SnackSizeRaisin · 11/05/2021 19:33

You don't have to spend loads to get a safe car seat, but some brands are better than others. For an erf 25 kg seat you can get one for £150-200 from britax that's just as safe as the £350 ones, with fewer bells and whistles. It will last the average child about 5 years from age 1 to 6. Then they just need a high back booster that can be bought for £50.
I find it odd when people can afford to run a car but can't afford £200 on their child's safety spread over 5 years. Especially when their car is a new Audi or range rover.
Some of the poor quality car seats have been shown to just fall apart in crashes only very slightly above the 30 mph testing limit.

jumpbounce · 11/05/2021 19:43

People just get so defensive about the whole car seat situation. When I had my first DC I was young and I hadn't a clue ended up with a cheap car seat that was later recalled due to falling apart in a car crash. Thankfully I was then able to seek some recommendations from other people on car seats rather than just being completely defensive about the fact I had failed to do any research and hadn't a clue about car seats. I was thankfully able to learn a few things about car seat safety from other people who were more knowledgeable about it and had done their research and therefore make much better informed choices and I look back now and would never ever purchase a generic brand car seat like I did then because I've now learnt they aren't necessarily safe and thankfully I found this out from chats with people rather than finding out by my child getting injured in a crash in a substandard seat!

iusedtohavechickens · 11/05/2021 19:45

£250 for my daughters one which was on offer, I foster and social will only pay upto £100 for a car seat and we have to pay the rest! I always go isofix as I prefer them and feel they are safer than belted ones x

Spectrumofhumanlife · 11/05/2021 19:46

@jumpbounce

People just get so defensive about the whole car seat situation. When I had my first DC I was young and I hadn't a clue ended up with a cheap car seat that was later recalled due to falling apart in a car crash. Thankfully I was then able to seek some recommendations from other people on car seats rather than just being completely defensive about the fact I had failed to do any research and hadn't a clue about car seats. I was thankfully able to learn a few things about car seat safety from other people who were more knowledgeable about it and had done their research and therefore make much better informed choices and I look back now and would never ever purchase a generic brand car seat like I did then because I've now learnt they aren't necessarily safe and thankfully I found this out from chats with people rather than finding out by my child getting injured in a crash in a substandard seat!

And if that’s how you choose to do your research then that’s great. I am not at all ‘dismissive’ about car seats, I just do my research differently. I subscribed to Which and looked at the reviews. Looked for advice on forums such as this one. Looked up the safety information for my shortlist. Spent a bloody fortune on the ones I chose. I didn’t chat about it with friends, but that doesn’t make me dismissive.

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 19:52

@Spectrumofhumanlife
The which reviews are not as comprehensive and exacting as Swedish crash test reviews which only pass ERF car seats

@SnackSizeRaisin I agree with you

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 19:53

@iusedtohavechickens

£250 for my daughters one which was on offer, I foster and social will only pay upto £100 for a car seat and we have to pay the rest! I always go isofix as I prefer them and feel they are safer than belted ones x

It’s utter nonsense that isofix car seats are safer than belted ones

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/05/2021 19:54

7 years ago I paid £125 for an ERF seat... It was recommended online as well.

Good safe carats don't have to be expensive.

The other thing is that you can have the safest car seat in the world, but if it isn't installed properly it isn't worth it.

Babyg1995 · 11/05/2021 19:57

Never once have I had a conversation or encountered judgement about car seats .

HowsYourHeadHun · 11/05/2021 20:04

Do people really say this?

First car seat was £200 and second one was £300 because I done a lot of research on which ones were better and also looked at all the testing etc on them.

It's never come up in conversation how much I spent though as it's no one else's business .

FunnyWonder · 11/05/2021 20:07

I faced a fair bit of judgement for keeping DC rear facing until they were 3 or 4. People thought it wasn't fair to keep my children safe by buying a good quality rear facing seat because 'they won't be able to see out the window'. Righty ho. Last time I looked, my car had more than one window. Anyway, the idea that I paid EXTRA to thus disadvantage my DC was too much for some people to take in. I didn't offer up this information by the way - they asked.

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 11/05/2021 20:07

£1.5k for a few days car seat is crazy.

So is the PP spending £300+ on a group 0 seat. There's plenty of safer cheaper seats.

I have a joie every stages. Now been used for 2 kids. Thankful I didn't spend loads on another ERF seat as covid has meant we've barely used the car.

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 11/05/2021 20:20

I faced a fair bit of judgement for keeping DC rear facing until they were 3 or 4.

My FIL is very strangely obsessed with this and is ALWAYS passing comment on the fact my son is RF (he’s just over 3.5 years) and I really don’t understand why he makes such a fuss over it.

OP posts:

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 20:24

@HercwasanEnemyofEducation

£1.5k for a few days car seat is crazy.

So is the PP spending £300+ on a group 0 seat. There's plenty of safer cheaper seats.

I have a joie every stages. Now been used for 2 kids. Thankful I didn't spend loads on another ERF seat as covid has meant we've barely used the car.

18kg isn’t really extended rear facing Lots of three and half year olds weight so around 18kgs bit are not really safe to forward face due to their iliac crest and bone density etc A true ERF is up to 25kg

motherloaded · 11/05/2021 20:24

@HercwasanEnemyofEducation

£1.5k for a few days car seat is crazy.

So is the PP spending £300+ on a group 0 seat. There's plenty of safer cheaper seats.

I have a joie every stages. Now been used for 2 kids. Thankful I didn't spend loads on another ERF seat as covid has meant we've barely used the car.

oh, so there IS judgement after all

Hardbackwriter · 11/05/2021 20:27

I think it's very clear from this thread that is there is plenty of judgement - see the post above you on 'true rear facing' - but very little of it is coming from the people buying cheap seats...

GoddessKali · 11/05/2021 20:28

When my son was little I realised from a WHICH comparison that his very expensive car seat was absolutely shocking safety wise...... so despite family telling me I was crazy and wasting my money I went out and bought a new one that was highly rated for safety (and cheaper than the original), still both £120+ though.

2 days later we had a serious head on collision at 60mph so a combined impact speed of 120mph.
My little boy was absolutely fine - despite the whole car crumbling to bits around him. The firemen said the seat had held together and supported him really well, probably saving his life. He was only 2....

So yes! Totally hear you OP, but you do what you know is best for your little ones!!

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 11/05/2021 20:31

18kg isn’t really extended rear facing
Lots of three and half year olds weight so around 18kgs bit are not really safe to forward face due to their iliac crest and bone density etc
A true ERF is up to 25kg

Weighed up the pros and cons. I can't afford another seat, they RF a lot longer than their peers (until 3). They don't do many car journeys so I'm happy with my decision.

@motherloaded There's not many people who can afford £1.5k on a car seat. If you can and do, crack on.

The PP saying £300 isn't much for a group 0 seat is judgy AF.

LolaSmiles · 11/05/2021 20:37

I think it's very clear from this thread that is there is plenty of judgement - see the post above you on 'true rear facing' - but very little of it is coming from the people buying cheap seats

Some seats are safety tested to a higher standard than others. Why should people be accused of being judgey for this?

ToodleSquat · 11/05/2021 20:46

I would she know how much it cost? Faced with "looks"? As in plural? I spent £260 on my car seat (no boast, just neurotic, he'll be in it until he's an adult) and no one has ever mentioned it or asked me how much it cost. But then I don't say, oh look at his car seat, guess how much it cost 🤷. I did say my mum was mental for spending £100 on a milk frother though 😂.

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 21:02

@HercwasanEnemyofEducation

18kg isn’t really extended rear facing Lots of three and half year olds weight so around 18kgs bit are not really safe to forward face due to their iliac crest and bone density etc A true ERF is up to 25kg

Weighed up the pros and cons. I can't afford another seat, they RF a lot longer than their peers (until 3). They don't do many car journeys so I'm happy with my decision.

@motherloaded There's not many people who can afford £1.5k on a car seat. If you can and do, crack on.

The PP saying £300 isn't much for a group 0 seat is judgy AF.

I don’t spend loads on car seats I actually had an every stage 1-2-3 but my three year old outgrew it rear facing weight wise The britax two way elite is ERF until 25 KG and same price give or take £30

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/05/2021 21:05

My DD didn't reach 18kg until 5.5yo...

Car seats have changed a lot in the past decade. 7yo, walking into a high street shop and buying any ERF seat, even just an 18kg one, was considered amazing. The Joie Stages was the first seat you could do that with.
There is more choice now. There wasn't then.

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 21:06

@Hardbackwriter

I think it's very clear from this thread that is there is plenty of judgement - see the post above you on 'true rear facing' - but very little of it is coming from the people buying cheap seats...

You are referring to my post and factually you are incorrect Firstly the ERF seats I use are not astronomical they are belt and tether fitted britax ones that cost less than many expensive ff hbb and group 2 seats

Secondly for one of my three children I had to forward face then much earlier than I wanted too since despite prescribed anti travel sickness medication, bands etc they almost choked vomiting when travelling backwards so I had no choice

No judging from me
You, on the other hand

Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 21:07

Wanted to

Snally82 · 11/05/2021 21:12

No one has commented on our car seat, there aren’t that many people that would even ask or care which once we chose

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 11/05/2021 21:14

The Britax isn't suitable from birth though. Therefore the every stage is better value for money.

The Britax tether is also not suitable for some cars.

Thirdly the leg space with any RF seat and my kids body made them uncomfortable from just over 3.