That car seat costs are not worthy of judgement.

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I just need a rant!

Is anyone else sick of being looked at like you’ve lost your mind when people find out how much you’ve spent on a car seat?

People spend God knows how much on a next-2-me cot, but you spend the same amount on a car seat to be faced with looks of horror and, “Are you mad?” comments.

It’s socially fine to spend £500 on a fancy pram but goodness me, if you spend £150 on a car seat you’re out of your mind.

I’m finding this attitude becoming more and more frequent and I can’t understand why it’s absolutely fine to spend so much money on items as mentioned above, but it seems acceptable to sneer at those who spend £200(ish) on a car seat that can actually save your baby’s life.

You’re almost shamed for it!!

BTW - this post is in no way related to people who can’t afford to spend this amount of money on a car seat, but purely about the double standards of society.

I just don’t get it.

Afternoon Toffee - it’s not true at all. Anyone who has researched car seats before buying one knows about the different safety tests they put them through and how they fare differently. Anyone who hasn’t researched them might not know this (or even care!), but it doesn’t make it any less true to say that some are considered safer - especially when hit at certain angles.

Oh god it gets worse. It got delivered and what? You announced “oh look my £180 car seat has arrived”

.....yeah, that’s exactly what happened

She’s the only friend I’ve had comment, other comments in the past have come from my parents and my in-laws.

So it was in fact one person? Who may well (probably does) have the same attitude to all baby equipment and might have been the same about a pram or cot? Quite different to your OP which made this sound like a daily trial...
Quite

People are funny about car seats. I think because it comes down to safety, any indication that yours is better/more expensive/safer makes some people feel inadequate and defensive. Personally, it's one area that I definitely will not scrimp. We currently have two £500ish seats and IMO they're worth every penny for my peace of mind (and DS's safety, obviously).

The minimum safety requirements aren't very high and I would rather spend more on something that's been tested more thoroughly.

This kind of judgement is pretty rare. Probably more common for people to judge you on having a forward facing seat aged 4 because you're putting precious Alfadoo at risk.

Another thread on Mumsnet boasting about spending money. It’s becoming tiresome. And no, I’m not jealous and have no reason to be.

No, I have never had this conversation- it’s not a topic I find particularly entertaining or interesting.

@Hallyup6

Who looks in your car long enough to know firstly, what car seat you have and secondly, to be bothered to go and find out how much the thing cost?

Ridiculous.

My children have cheap car seats. No less safe than expensive, branded, status symbols.

Not true. Some car seats are safer and they tend to be more expensive

Another thread on Mumsnet boasting about spending money. It’s becoming tiresome. And no, I’m not jealous and have no reason to be.

Have you seen how much some car seats cost?

I’m not sure me saying mine cost £180 is boasting is it? I’ve probably got one of the cheapest!

Some people pay more than that just to have dental work done.

I paid 400 quid for an infant carrier and base for dgrandaughter. I'd only say in an anonymous forum though, I'd never actually tell anyone where I could be identified.

I used to fit car seats as part of my part time uni job. There are massive differences in the testing between some of them. You'd be amazed how low the bar actually is.

The one thing I took from that job was that when I had kids car seats would be the one thing I would scrimp and save for to make sure they have the safest ones at the time.

I'll admit to being the opposite and quietly judging people with kids forward facing as soon as it is allowed, badly fitted seats and people with expensive cars and dirt cheap seats. Does my head in.

Try being a grandparent with a tiny sporty car which does not take isofix. I just took it to Halfords and let them find a suitable seat for the design.

I never chatted much about car seats.
The only time it really came up was with a friend that FFed as soon as baby hit the minimum weight because he screamed for virtually every second that he RFed... excluding the time spent vomiting or getting into a state where he stopped breathing. FFing was safer than that situation. I'd been on a few jouneys with them and I understand why that choice had to be made.

£180 is pretty normal for a car seat. Not a remarkable sum. £600+ is getting pretty niche for many and there can come a point of diminishing returns on affordability vs safety benefits.
My two are junior school age now and car seats have changed in that time. My car didn't have isofix and the RF options were rather niche and expensive at that time. I would make different choices now because there are more options avaliable.
I definitely wouldn't have RFed until 25kg though... my 9yo would have ended up with one leg in the boot and one out of the window. As it was, he began the relentless screaming shortly after turning 1. I managed to RF DS2 for longer, plus he has a shorter body and fitted the harness longer.

I spent more on the pram (mid-range) although that included the first car seat and it had a longer period of use and was used heavily.

If someone's being funny about you spending very normal sums of money, it's best to steer away from those types of conversation.

It only happened once, a very brief comment made by a random colleague yet you wrote

"I’m finding this attitude becoming more and more frequent".

You sure you're not going on and on about baby gear and the ins and outs of a car seats arsehole?

with a tiny sporty car which does not take isofix.

makes anyone look like a knob.
Nothing wrong with sports car, but totally incompatible with a baby

(and no, I am not jealous, got one in the garage! But also got a family car for the kids..)

@Confrontayshunme

DH has a cousin who spent £3000 on two carseats, and I was so shocked that I joked "Are they made of gold?!" But then, we don't even own a car, so the bottom-of-the-line Mothercare ones we bought to bring our DDs home from hospital felt extortionate. I definitely wouldn't judge a few hundred, but unless they have their own airbag, you are paying for style over function at £1500 a pop!

I'm still agog at spending £1.5k on a car seat, I didn't know such a thing existed!

Why don’t you ignore the judgemental comments? Why do you care about what others think of a bloody car seat?

Car seat that swivels I can see the point of. As long as pass appropriate safety checks. I can understand spending more on a car seat (safety factor) than a buggy/pram/travel system.

Is knowing the price of car seats from a quick glance at the box her mastermind specialist subject

I think £200 is on the cheaper side for a car seat 🤣😂

I would expect 300-500 for a decent stage 0/1 car seat

makes anyone look like a knob.
Nothing wrong with sports car, but totally incompatible with a baby

Why would a grandparent look like a knob for having a sporty car? Your post was quite unkind.

The minimum safety requirements aren't very high and I would rather spend more on something that's been tested more thoroughly
Same here
I couldn't care less what other parents choose to spend on a car seat, but find it irritating when some flat out lie about car seat safety.

Not all cars can fit extended rear facing seats and that's OK, but don't get defensive and claim there's no difference between that forward facing and rear facing.
People will have different budgets and different priorities and different assessments of risk and that's OK, but don't bullshit that all car seats meet the same safety standards.

Ironic that a decent car seat can literally save a child's life. This is why I don't like many people. I do think our country's car seat safety in general is shit to be honest. My MIL fell out with me over keeping our son rear facing until he was nearly 6. Absolutely crazy.

Is knowing the price of car seats from a quick glance at the box her mastermind specialist subject

Not that I’m aware of.

She saw the brand name on the box and said, “they’re quite expensive aren’t they?”

And I said “they can be, but I got it for £180 in a sale.”

And that is what set her off....

I don't remember anyone ever commenting on car seat costs in my presence and I hadn't or worn lots of parents all the time, so I'm not sure it is a widespread thing. It seems you just got unlucky with this one colleague so don't worry!

I don't understand people who say they don't talk about this. Surely if you have friends who are pregnant at the same time as you or young DC the same age you may ask each other for recommendations if you are in the market for a new car seat? Hence why the price then gets talked about. I don't think anyone is having hour long discussions over dinner about car seats but as a parent with young potentially expensive necessary purchases is something I would expect to seek recommendations on.