To ask honestly if you feel sorry for these women?
LemonSherbetFancies · 09/05/2021 12:50
Who are approaching 40 and single with no kids?
I know a few in this situation and they always say they feel judged and inferior to women of that age who do.
Personally, I do not feel sorry for them if they do not have kids as they are not for everyone. But I do feel for women who don't have a supportive and loving relationship. Now, I am not saying women need a man to be happy but I know from myself how much nicer my life is with DP in it.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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LemonSherbetFancies · 09/05/2021 12:56
I am referring to the women in my life. Some ex colleagues, some family.
Many feel that they are looked down upon, pitied or seen as spinsters. Generally I get the same view as well as in my social circle, people do seem to feel sorry for women approaching 40 who do not have this in their lives. Yet on Mumsnet it seems to be a different story.
OwlinaTree · 09/05/2021 12:57
I have a couple of friends who I know would have liked to have had children and haven't had the opportunity due to being single. I think saying I feel 'sorry' for them sounds a bit smug, but I do feel it's a shame they haven't managed to do something they wanted to do.
romdowa · 09/05/2021 12:58
If I knew that they have had fertility issues or it had just never happened for them and they had wanted children then I would feel for them but if they didn't want kids or weren't upset about how things went then I'd be happy that they were happy. A family and a mortgage isn't for everyone.
MadeOfStarStuff · 09/05/2021 12:59
YABU for assuming everyone wants the same things in life that you do
Of course I would have sympathy for someone if they were in a situation that wasn’t what they wanted in life. But I wouldn’t have blanket pity for anyone who doesn’t have a stereotypically “picture perfect” life.
KarmaNoMore · 09/05/2021 13:00
Not at all, I don’t feel sorry for them, but I empathise if they wanted kids or a partner desperately.
Otherwise I just see them as independent women who made their own choices on what works for them. I also respect the fact that many can be single because they didn’t want to put up with relationships that didn’t work for them.
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