To ask honestly if you feel sorry for these women?

[LemonSherbetFancies]

Who are approaching 40 and single with no kids?
I know a few in this situation and they always say they feel judged and inferior to women of that age who do.
Personally, I do not feel sorry for them if they do not have kids as they are not for everyone. But I do feel for women who don't have a supportive and loving relationship. Now, I am not saying women need a man to be happy but I know from myself how much nicer my life is with DP in it.

Do childless forty-year-old men of your acquaintances also elicit these tides of spontaneous pity? Or are they regarded as canny bachelor playboys who’ve avoided the ball and chain of matrimony and the pram in the hall?

I think I love ya @MindtheBelleek.
Wanna run off into the sunset together, to escape the pity party & social shame of being unattached?

I would think they only think they’re happy because they don’t know what they’re missing.

If they don't know what they're missing and feel happy, then they're happy.

I'm envious sometimes. It must be lovely to just do what you want when you want. I don't think anything at all for single women I don't know.

@dottiedodah

Minou123 How rude! Maybe say to them a nice lie in ,mooch around the shops or whatever ,then out for the evening? Methinks they are jealous of you and your child free life !

I think they thought that because I dont have a penis in my life, I must be sitting alone, twiddling my thumbs

I feel sorry for people who can’t get their heads around the concept that not everyone wants the same life as them, and that what makes them happy would make other people utterly miserable.

And ‘these women’? Seriously, can you hear yourself?

I think I am happier without a relationship but I do feel like a failure for feeling like this. I feel like there must be something wrong with me because I seem to be missing that normal drive to be sexual with someone and I know most people see me with pity and look down on me for being single

@BillyIsMyBunny - sweetheart, it may not be as common, but feeling asexual is as perfectly 'normal' as other sexual choices.
There is nothing wrong with you ... especially given your horrible previous circumstance

If you think people are looking down on you for singlehood, remember that's their problem - & that a lot of it can stem from their own supressed feelings of inadequacy or frustration about the state of their marriage or partnership ...

Concentrate on people who dont give off waves of patronising pity to you - you don't need them in your life, Hang out with happy singletons & non-judgemental attached folk, & YOU DO YOU.

Societally, we are sold a lot of nonsense about romantic relationships, & can end up contorting ourselves with unhappiness merely to conform to an assumed 'norm'. Sod that. Take comfort from the robust responses from PP here, & enjoy your chosen single state xx

No...

I don't know any child-free person who DOES feel inferior in real life though!

I don't care about the marital status either.

I do pity the POSTERS on here who have such a bitter and twisted view of relationships and claim that not being single means being miserable, having no freedom, no independence, not being allowed to have choices, a voice.... How depressing to be so angry, bitter and having such a twisted view of the world.

But again, in the real world, I don't know anyone like that either.

Nope and I am raising my daughter to (hopefully) understand that she does not need to have a partner or children if she doesn't feel like that life is for her. Societal pressures are not something she needs to feel pressured by.

Yes, I feel very sorry for them. To not have a husband, someone to share your life with, or the joy children bring.

I think to not have a family by then would be devastating and I would think they only think they’re happy because they don’t know what they’re missing. It’s very sad.

What a gobsmackingly judgemental & gormless post @emilyfrost.
How about taking the blinkers off, & experiencing the giant revelation that other people are not you, & don't want your life?

Or should I feel sorry for you, because you're only happy because you don't know what you're missing?

I don't, because I am assuming you are a grown-ass woman who has made her own decisions about how she lives her life. Why not try applying that formula to your own opinions? It's very freeing ...

emilyfrost
"to not have a husband"?!?!

"they only think they're happy"?!?!
What is this, Stepford Wives??

@emilyfrost I’m a nanny so I get the joy of children without any of the responsibility. You are small minded and I feel sad for you.

"These" women used to be called spinsters your maiden aunt or further back witches ! I would have thought that in 2021 we would have stopped judging women for being without a man and children as if that is her only purpose in life 🙄

I would think they only think they’re happy because they don’t know what they’re missing

How on Earth can someone miss something they've never had in the first place?

No. I feel more sorry for women who need children to validate their existence.

It depends on the woman!

I don't feel sorry for anyone who is happy in their life, whatever choices they've made or had chosen for them. Their life, not mine.

I don't know a single woman who has ever mentioned that they feel judged and felt inferior because they are childless. I am 70 plus.and have never come across this in my life.

Surely it depends if they want kids or to be married? It would be painful if you desperately wanted a family but if not why would I feel sorry for them?

How ridiculous.
Not everyone wants children. I have a couple of good friends who chose not to have children, nothing at all to do with being in a relationship, they both decided early on that they did not want them.
They have so much money and yes I am jealous.
As regards to being single, you do know that women can get sex without being tied down to the kitchen sink.
When I was 'single' my sex life was fantastic 😁😁😁😁

I also believe an awful lot of men don't really want to be fathets, it just comes with the territory.

What an odd post. And a lot of generalisations on this thread. Surely it depends on they feel about it? I'm one of 'these women'. I haven't 'rejected convention' or made a choice, it just hasn't happened for me. It's really hard. But for others it may be a choice and they feel perfectly happy.

@emilyfrost

Yes, I feel very sorry for them. To not have a husband, someone to share your life with, or the joy children bring.

I think to not have a family by then would be devastating and I would think they only think they’re happy because they don’t know what they’re missing. It’s very sad.

🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮

No. Not if that's the life they've chosen. If it isn't then its a different matter.

Thanks for all the pity!

TBH, I feel sorry for all those women who are dependent on a man for money and/or happiness.

You're welcome for my unsolicited judgement of your life choices.