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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH golf weekend at the same time as my Covid vaccine

222 replies

Bakinggiraffe · 03/05/2021 20:43

Well, I found out today that DH booked a golf weekend for beginning of July this week. I am due to have my 2nd Covid vaccine (AZ) on that Saturday. I suffered some side effects after the first doze and am shocked that he thought it was ok to go away and leave me to look after two children (10 and 13yrs) on my own. He said that I was overreacting and suggested that I changed the date of my vaccine. He was not very happy when I suggested he changed the date of his golf trip.
What would you do in my place? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 03/05/2021 22:59

I had a nasty reaction to my first jab and had my second yesterday and have only felt slightly off colour today. Still managed a 4 mile walk this morning which I wouldn't have been able to after my 1st jab.

I'm sure you will be fine but agree with others that you should move it if you are that worried. No way would I expect my DH to cancel his golfing holiday!

Salome61 · 03/05/2021 23:08

We'd just moved up north with my husband's big long awaited promotion in 1999 and I was really missing London, when one of the local women said 'what do you think of the 'boys' going on holiday. To my embarrassment I didn't know, he hadn't told me yet, our kids were 4 and 6.

I was really resentful about him going, for years, and childish too, I didn't reply to his texts when he was away. He then collapsed on the golf course and nearly died in Portugal in 2012, it was his heart. He died four years later. I wish I'd appreciated that he had a very pressurised job, worked his hardest to give us a really good life, and just wanted a week with his male friends doing something he loved.

I watched Bridgerton and the mother says to the daughter, 'remember to love each other every day'. It's hard when you are living it, but I wish I had.

Ontheboardwalk · 03/05/2021 23:11

Stock up on milk, bread, cereal and pasta (as per MN teens are eating me out of house and home with this stuff) and you will all survive

LittleOwl153 · 03/05/2021 23:13

Given the age of your kids, my only issue would be do you need to get them to school the next day? I reacted to my first dose but the only thing I'd say I wouldn't have done was drive the next morning - as I didn't sleep that night.

I'm very glad to hear everyone's second dose appears to be producing less of a reaction!!

ineedaholidaynow · 03/05/2021 23:15

My MIL felt horrible for a day after her first jab. Has now had her second jab and is feeling much worse, and she never usually admits to feeling ill and will battle on regardless, but has been completely floored this time. So doesn't always follow that you will feel the same or better with the second dose.

WeAllHaveWings · 03/05/2021 23:17

Get some easy cook food for the dc just incase and you'll be OK.

Your 13 year old should be capable of doing a pizza or something simple.

dottiedaisee · 03/05/2021 23:17

Ibuprofen and paracetamol taken 6 to 8 hourly..you really will be fine . Take away shove in the oven for the children! I got my positive Covid result Christmas morning and survived.

Nodal · 03/05/2021 23:19

I wouldn't say you were overreacting but the fact youve got it on the Saturday and your kids are a bit older probably makes it fine. I had a pretty strong reaction to the first one (AZ) and felt surprisingly ill for a good few days. I'd have struggled with work or school run and luckily had the Sunday then to recover a bit. I had the second one last Saturday and it was nowhere near as bad. I went to bed early Saturday with a hot water bottle, spent Sunday in bed dozing and was fine by Monday. Only issue is keeping the kids busy. I'd explain in advance, get some movies lined up for them to watch on the Sunday and get them to fetch you drinks etc..My kids are the same age and even though their dad was around (and did meals) they kept popping in to check on me etc which was nice.

You might not feel like cooking so I'd probably get takeaway etc and better still, would make your husband order a pizza or whatever from the golf course.

rach2713 · 03/05/2021 23:19

Your kids are old enough to keep themselves busy but you could get some treats and order a takeaway on the Sunday snuggle up on the sofa watch films and kids can help out as much as you need to. Just make sure you have plenty of paracetamol for your self..

Definately · 03/05/2021 23:24

I think you might survive without him there to mop your fevered brow.

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 03/05/2021 23:24

Don't people have the OP posts highlighted?

OP agreed she was being UR at 21:04. RTFT!

Frustratedbeyondbelief · 03/05/2021 23:47

Just to reassure you OP, I had the AZ in Feb and was quite poorly for two days. Headache, shivers, temp.. general winter type virus. So poorly I couldn't even WFH.. had second jab 2 weeks ago and had no side effects at all.

You will be fine..

Babyjune21 · 04/05/2021 05:18

Honestly some of your comments are making me cringe

Saying that man is taken her for granted because he’s booked some time for himself ???
Sorry what ?? Men’s suicidal rate is threw the damn roof and it’s probs a lot to do with shit like this when they can’t openly do something they enjoy for a weekend without being chastised online ! Put your big girl pants on and get over yourself , I feel sorry for every single man or husband that’s with the wife’s on this platform that agree with this post , how selfish of you I hope they come to their senses and leave honestly

Welshmaenad · 04/05/2021 05:48

Yes, you're overreacting.

I managed to look after a 10 and 14 year old through five days of debilitating post vaccine illness on both doses. I have an autoimmune disease that means vaccine side effects hit me quite hard. Nobody died. I also regularly look after my children alone with symptoms of aseptic meningitis, following immunoglobulin treatment for my condition. It's not the best, but we muddle through. As a single parent I don't really have much choice.

Take some paracetamol, tell the children not to run with scissors, and have a nap.

Theunamedcat · 04/05/2021 06:08

Do yourself a favour and cope well with it all your kids will notice his absence but thats hardly your fault

annie335 · 04/05/2021 06:22

Yes, you're overreacting. They're not toddlers. Take paracetamol and rest. The kids will be fine.

sHREDDIES19 · 04/05/2021 06:42

This is a wind up...right?!

balloonsintrees · 04/05/2021 06:43

Oh ffs give them some responsibility, also you are having a jab...surely you must've dragged yourself into work or whatever with migraines etc? You just have to deal with it.
Mumsnet cliche coming up but I had hip replacement surgery and had to look after a 7 MONTH old and 11 year old when husband went back to work 2 days after I was discharged. We made sure there were appropriate processes in place e.g change stuff and cot downstairs etc.
YABVVVVVU and precious

SoupDragon · 04/05/2021 06:48

If you were due in hospital for a life saving op, of course you must reschedule because Golf must always come first as otherwise his dick will fall off.

Pathetic that a hobby must come before his wifes health in a pandemic.

She's having a vaccination FFS, not a heart transplant.

rwalker · 04/05/2021 06:51

Just read OP reply what a refreshing change to see someone ask if they are BU told they are and accept it .
Best of luck you'll be fine .

Costaheaven · 04/05/2021 06:56

Oh for goodness sake, take some paracetamol and get on with it, it’s not major surgery. And 10 and 13 years old can look after themselves, unless there are special needs.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 04/05/2021 06:59

My son could cook a decent meal AND look after me when I was sick at 10 years old, at the very least the 13 year old should be able to keep the ship afloat.
Maybe children of single parents are more self sufficient I don't know.
It doesn't help kids to baby them too much, they should be able to amuse themselves for one day especially as you are in the house.

grantoderek · 04/05/2021 07:07

Is it because they have to be occupied with educational opportunities all the time and you are worried that they may miss out on a day? I can't see any reason why otherwise. If so, let them have a lie in and watch TV. If you have other reasons which we don't know, apologies. I'm sure you have your reasons, whether reasonable or not you are allowed to be you.

GintyMcGinty · 04/05/2021 07:25

Yes you are.

Your children are 10 and 13. They can help look after you. They are not babies.

The3Ls · 04/05/2021 07:28

2nd dose brutal for me. No reaction 1st time husband had plans as of course I thought I'd be fine. But kids same age we loughed about ordered takeout. With paracetamol I functioned enough. At that age its fine. Besides it was 3 days later some colleagues within hours so unless you write off a week it's impossible to guarantee he d be about. Though he did offer to cancel plans and meant it. Made sure I had everything I eeded so maybe its the lack of care that's the hurtful

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