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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH golf weekend at the same time as my Covid vaccine

222 replies

Bakinggiraffe · 03/05/2021 20:43

Well, I found out today that DH booked a golf weekend for beginning of July this week. I am due to have my 2nd Covid vaccine (AZ) on that Saturday. I suffered some side effects after the first doze and am shocked that he thought it was ok to go away and leave me to look after two children (10 and 13yrs) on my own. He said that I was overreacting and suggested that I changed the date of my vaccine. He was not very happy when I suggested he changed the date of his golf trip.
What would you do in my place? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
sanityisamyth · 03/05/2021 21:32

I'm a single mum with a 7 year old DS. The nurse told him to look after me when I had my first AZ jab. He took her at her word. He brought me food and drink in bed, even though I was feeling fine! He wouldn't let me do much else. I'm sure your two older children can cope with cooking some beans on toast if you needed to take it easy.

simonisnotme · 03/05/2021 21:32

yeah you are

alabaster11 · 03/05/2021 21:36

Ffs OP, 10 and 13?? You'll be fine.

I have a 2 and 3 year old, was on my own after my Covid vaccine where I felt a absolutely horrific.

We're mums! We survive Smile

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/05/2021 21:39

You couldn't be more precious unless you have a stack of mattresses with a pea under them.
Me and my NzhS colleagues were straight back to the wards after our jabs and the next day when we all felt horrific. We're far tl busy to go off sick after an injection!!!

shouldistop · 03/05/2021 21:40

was told if you had an specifically allergic reaction to the first the second is likely to be more pronounced.

When did op day she had an allergic reaction to the vaccination?

Maryann1975 · 03/05/2021 21:41

YABU I’m afraid. If you had pre schoolers I Might Think differently, but at 10 and 13, your dc are quite old enough to sort themselves out and bring you a drink and snacks through the day If you feel rough.
I felt dreadful after my 1st jab, the dc were fantastic.

If you don’t want your Dh to go on his golf trip, say that to him, but don’t make out he can’t go because of your COVID jab.

Figgygal · 03/05/2021 21:44

Are you just pissed off he’s got a weekend away and you don’t?
I could understand that but not what you’ve said here

LesLavandes · 03/05/2021 21:44

Yes you are

stripeymonster · 03/05/2021 21:45

In a similar situation here so do sympathise - reacted badly to first AZ jab next one coincides with Dh camping trip. Looked at swapping dates but then either end up with jab at same time as Dh or at start of summer hols. So will just suck it up and hope don't react so badly this time. Dc are 11, 9 and 6 so capable of amusing themselves - will just buy some simple to cook food and hope for the best.

JudgeJ · 03/05/2021 21:45

10 and 13 year old are perfectly capable of looking after themselves if you are feeling ill after the vaccine. YABU

And are capable of looking after OP, cups of coffee, sandwich, they're not babies.

AnyFucker · 03/05/2021 21:46

Give over, you muppet

Hazelnutlatteplease · 03/05/2021 21:46

I suffered some side effects after the first doze

Noone stopped to ask what they were. 🙄

And honestly if I said to a partner I wanted the day off parenting duties, for whatever reason, I'd be pretty hacked off they'd booked golf instead. Perhaps he should be taking the kids with him, I'm assuming they are his responsibility too.

Lovemusic33 · 03/05/2021 21:46

I’m having my 2nd vaccine tomorrow, I was also quite unwell after the first so I will let you know how I am after the 2nd.

I do think you are BU, I’m a single parent so if I’m unwell I just have to cope and make do with the situation, last time I may have ordered a take away for the kids and let them spend more time in front of a screen 🤣.

Viviennemary · 03/05/2021 21:48

You are being ridiculous.

Pottedpalm · 03/05/2021 21:49

You are being very unreasonable.
And it’s ‘dose’, not ‘doze’.

purplebatbear · 03/05/2021 21:49

Ok. So I think I have a different opinion to most people on here @Bakinggiraffe

I had a really bad reaction to my first AZ vaccine (full on body shaking, teeth chattering to the extent I broke one, very high temperatures, extreme tiredness and nausea that lasted for about five days and I felt so exhausted for the first three days that I really couldn't do much at all) so I totally understand your desire to not be on your own.

If you had told him the date then I think it's very reasonable that you're not happy he's going away.

However (if it helps) - I've had my second and it really wasn't as bad. BUT I was still absolutely knocked out exhausted and shaky for three days and there's no way I could have been a responsible parent during two of the days as I could barely lift my head off the pillow.

So. I'd try to have it done when he's around.

Pinkpaisley · 03/05/2021 21:50

I had Pfizer. I woke up the next morning and could barely move. The lymph nodes on my left side were incredibly swollen. I managed to stay awake for about 20 minutes while dd got herself ready for school and I tried to help. Then I fell into bed and went back to sleep. I hardly woke for 3 days. Every now and then DH would wake me up and make me drink some water and occasionally eat something quick. Then I would fall right back to sleep.

I don’t regret the shot, but if you have any options at all, you should not be left alone with children.

Spidey66 · 03/05/2021 21:50

Sorry another who thinks you’re overreacting.

I’ve had both doses of the AZ and honestly the 2nd one is much was we that the first. Mild pain in the arm for a few hours, then nothing.

Spidey66 · 03/05/2021 21:51

Much easier than the first.

RedcurrantPuff · 03/05/2021 21:51

Jesus some people really have no bloody resilience. Take a couple of paracetamol and get on with it. Surely you’ve had to look after your kids when you’ve felt unwell before? It’s not ideal but it’s just life.

purplebatbear · 03/05/2021 21:51

So - I don't think you're overreacting.
He should have checked you'd be ok with being on your own before booking.
I think he's been a bit selfish as he has no way of predicting how you'll be this time around.
It smacks a bit of 'I've had mine - I was ok. I'm ok to go away now so you have to just handle it...' 😳

CovidSmart · 03/05/2021 21:52

Surely it depends on how bad the effects of the vaccine was the first time?

I know people who have ended up in bed unwell for a couple of days (not man flu!), DH and I had some fever and weren’t quite with it for a day and others who had a vague sore arm!

purplebatbear · 03/05/2021 21:52

@RedcurrantPuff

Jesus some people really have no bloody resilience. Take a couple of paracetamol and get on with it. Surely you’ve had to look after your kids when you’ve felt unwell before? It’s not ideal but it’s just life.
People react in different ways. Try to not belittle reactions. They aren't controllable
WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 03/05/2021 21:53

@DahliaBlooms you'd be lucky to move your appointment one week forward or back here, it's been a nightmare to get an appointment in a location close to my house, I'm in the 44+ category and getting mine tomorrow as that was the first available slot from when they were released

@Bakinggiraffe I do get where you are coming from but I'm sure if you spoke to your kids and explained, got in some easy food- pasta pesto, eggs etc then they'd be fine. Mine are only a little bit older but at that age could have managed for a couple of days. If you are very worried make some spag Bol and freeze it and then they just need to reheat!

minniemomo · 03/05/2021 21:54

At 13 &10 yes you are overreacting. Ensure you have pizzas, oven chips, fish fingers in the freezer. 13 year olds are quite capable of feeding their younger sibling for the weekend and they can just watch tv, game or see friends

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