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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH golf weekend at the same time as my Covid vaccine

222 replies

Bakinggiraffe · 03/05/2021 20:43

Well, I found out today that DH booked a golf weekend for beginning of July this week. I am due to have my 2nd Covid vaccine (AZ) on that Saturday. I suffered some side effects after the first doze and am shocked that he thought it was ok to go away and leave me to look after two children (10 and 13yrs) on my own. He said that I was overreacting and suggested that I changed the date of my vaccine. He was not very happy when I suggested he changed the date of his golf trip.
What would you do in my place? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 03/05/2021 22:17

I am a SP of young teens, one with SN and I reacted badly to first dose. But I coped.

Second dose I only had a sore arm.

I think you will probably manage ok.

Feather12 · 03/05/2021 22:17

Why are people telling the OP that it “isn’t that bad” or “the first is worse”. Everyone reacts differently, so how is that helpful? You don’t even know if it is the same vaccine.

Babyjune21 · 03/05/2021 22:18

100% hugely over reacting !! By the sounds of it your just not happy that he will be going away and enjoying himself and how much do you need to look after a 10 and 13 year old ??

thecatsabsentcojones · 03/05/2021 22:23

I know how you feel, I was utterly dreading my second AZ vaccine - so much so I went to bed on my return to await battling the beast! But nothing happened, it was fine. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you. Totally get the dread and vulnerability though.

I’d maybe move the vaccine date? Might make you feel slightly less anxious about it?

Original poster
Bakinggiraffe · 03/05/2021 22:24

@Quartz2208 absolutely agree with your comments. I looked at the vaccine booking website and if you want to reschedule, you first have to cancel the appointment you already have without any hint whether there are other appointments available within the 12 weeks window. I don’t want to loose the appointment I already have.

OP posts:
tunnocksreturns2019 · 03/05/2021 22:24

🤣🤣 you’ll be fine.

(Widowed parent looking after kids alone with a fecking broken arm)

Original poster
Bakinggiraffe · 03/05/2021 22:26

@thecatsabsentcojones thank you. I do feel anxious about it. Hopefully, it will be ok.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/05/2021 22:26

Just do your preparation beforehand - before my first dose I made sure there were easy meals available, the fridge was fully stocked and I didn't need to be anywhere. Naturally all this prep was unnecessary as I was completely fine 😂 Nevertheless, I will do the same before my second dose, just in case.

GettingItOutThere · 03/05/2021 22:32

i mean this kindly...get a grip! you will be fine haha

how do you think single mums cope?

just be prepped beforehand, takeaway that night, ready meals/milk/bread etc stocked up and prepare to be "in"

you might be absolutely fine 2nd time!

Miffycat14 · 03/05/2021 22:33

I'm going away that weekend too, and DH is having his second jab. It never occurred to me not to go. I can't imagine he would ever expect me to cancel either.

froggybiby · 03/05/2021 22:34

Best of luck...I hope you don't get any side effects the second time round...I think people could have sympathised a bit more... I had terrible side effects too: upset stomach / cramps and passing out...so I get what you mean. I had to call in sick 2 days and spent 3 days indoors which is so unlike me...I started to work from home for a few days on the Monday. I was trying to change my slot also to see if I can put it on the Friday, but like you mentioned you had to cancel and rebook, so it is a bit crap.

m0therofdragons · 03/05/2021 22:35

My 13 and 9 yo would bring me drinks and fend for themselves.

Most people I know found second pfizer led to reaction but those who reacted with az the first time were fine the second. Even if you’re not, your dc are good ages to not need you. Plan for takeaway for tea!

Summerdayshaze · 03/05/2021 22:35

Jesus, there are single mothers with cancer.

cabingirl · 03/05/2021 22:38

Actually for everyone who is saying 'you'll cope' and 'what would you do if you are a single parent?" - why should she have to?

I would expect my husband to know if I had a vaccine scheduled that I was worried about - he'd want to be there for me just in case. And if it turned out to be nothing then never mind.

A golf weekend seems like something that could have been set up for another weekend.

If he just forgot and accidentally scheduled it and it really can't be changed then of course the OP will be fine/cope.

mathanxiety · 03/05/2021 22:38

Your H should always check with you before booking time away from home.

YANBU to be angry on that score. People who truly co-parent don't do this to each other.

As a way to make the point that co-parenting involves joint decision making, could you should book yourself a weekend away some time in the autumn without consulting him beforehand, and drop him in the thick of it?

You have my sympathy. It's not easy to change a vaccination date.

NYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYN · 03/05/2021 22:39

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I really do hope this post is a joke, as it's completely ridiculous what I've just read.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 03/05/2021 22:40

Your kids are old enough to look after themselves. The vaccine is fine. Honestly what a non issue.

mathanxiety · 03/05/2021 22:41

I don't understand why your husband didn't check with you before booking the weekend away. What if you had booked a weekend away with your friends at the same time? It seems a strange relationship where one party can simply disappear for a weekend, assuming the other will be around to stay with the children. I do basically all the childcare, and would never really say no to my partner going away, but I would be a bit miffed if he booked something without even mentioning it.

This ^^

He is taking you for granted. He needs to be taught a lesson.

rainbowlou · 03/05/2021 22:42

I had to rearrange my first vaccine and so cancelled, I then was offered a much better and closer option so you may be lucky!
As it was I reacted horribly for my first and was at home alone with my son who actually amazed me at how much he stepped up and helped me plus sorted himself and the dog out for 3 days!
Proof he can be a lot more independent 😀

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 03/05/2021 22:46

Unless that’s a typo and your children are actually 1 and 3, YABU I’m afraid.

Supersimkin2 · 03/05/2021 22:47

Your DC are capable of looking after themselves, and you, if it comes to that, for 48 hours.

Also, DH needs that break.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2021 22:50

What if you had booked a weekend away with your friends at the same time?

Well, that would only have happened if she hadn't checked with him before booking so in your scenario they are both as bad as each other.

He needs to be taught a lesson.

Holy crap! Teach him a lesson? What utter tripe.

Livpool · 03/05/2021 22:52

YABU

Would you be annoyed if it was the flu jab?!

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2021 22:54

YABU because dont you know that Golf beats EVERYTHING!

If you were due in hospital for a life saving op, of course you must reschedule because Golf must always come first as otherwise his dick will fall off.

Pathetic that a hobby must come before his wifes health in a pandemic.

I personally dont think that you are BU at all, I felt appalling for a week after my first jab and its only because I had older teens at home that DD (aged 9) didnt have to go and live with her dad, I was that useless. I have never had flu and never want it if thats what it feels like.

On the upside, research suggests that you are less likely to bad side effects after the second dose of AZ than the first.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2021 22:55

I agree that the bigger issue here is him taking you for granted by booking a whole weekend away, assuming that you didnt have plans and that if you did you should cancel them for GOLF.