Page 9 | Do you smoke? Have you ever?

Ivycrescent · 03/05/2021 23:57

*love

LemonRoses · 03/05/2021 23:59

@Amberheartkitty

It is strange that people are so nasty to smokers and mention the health aspect and how they smell etc... but people wouldn’t dream of saying to an obese person, you know you will die young right? You know you stink in the day? You should think of your kids! You must love food more than them etc etc!

In answer to your question op, no I don’t think he has the right to force you to quit. Like a husband doesn’t have the right to force his wife on a diet. Or force you to do anything with your body that you don’t want to do. Your body your choice.

Except other people die because someone is fat, do they? Lots of fat people live to a ripe old age. Fat affects mainly that person - and fat people don’t necessarily smell. The mortality impact of BMI is far more complex. It’s not a case of being a bit podgy leaves you dead at fifty five. The highest BMI linked mortality actually affects very underweight people. Clearly there are increased risks with very elevated BMI which increases with age, but they don’t compare to smoking.

MondeoFan · 04/05/2021 06:18

No and no.
I couldn't and wouldn't date a smoker.
I hardly know anyone that smokes these days. My parents never smoked, neither did me or my brother.
None of my friends do. Unless they are secret smokers

Darbs76 · 04/05/2021 06:22

I don’t think any partner should be demanding the other partner do anything. I used to smoke, I quit before I had kids. Despite what you think by wearing an outside coat your babies will definitely be subjected to some second hand smoke. It’s a fact babies of smokers are more at risk of SIDs. I also didn’t want my kids to grow up seeing me smoke and think it’s a good thing to do. It stinks and it’s so bad for your health. But it’s your decision and I think your partner is out of order making demands on you.

Lifeaintalwaysempty · 04/05/2021 07:32

@Ivycrescent

It’s not really comparable to obesity Amber. Everyone eats. Yes some let it get out of control, but obesity is not an active choice that people make, it’s usually an unintended consequence of their eating & behaviour. Smoking isn’t an unintended consequence, it’s a choice. Yes it is very hard to quit, but to not even want to is an unusual position in my experience. Most obese people will tell you they’d live to lose weight.

It’s very comparable to obesity. Both are behaviours that result in adverse outcomes for individuals, children, society. Both are examples of behaviours that we are told we can and should control but in reality many find it difficult or impossible to. And some people choose not to try because it’s a behaviour that brings them some comfort or joy. Its just that we seem to have zero empathy for smokers and a lot more for people who find themselves eating too much. Maybe because most of the population is overweight or obese, so this is a bit too close to home, whereas only 15% smoke.

Lifeaintalwaysempty · 04/05/2021 07:49

@LemonRoses obesity and smoking both reduce life expectancy by similar amounts- at least ten years for smokers, between 5-20 for those who are obese.
The list of health problems that can be caused by obesity is very long- including several difference types of cancer, heart problems, stroke.
Parental obesity is significantly linked to childhood obesity which is also associated with health problems for children.
The cost of obesity to society is huge.
The two are extremely comparable. So some of the understanding, empathy and compassion that we are able to offer to those who are obese should also be offered to those who smoke.

LemonRoses · 04/05/2021 08:14

[quote Lifeaintalwaysempty]@LemonRoses obesity and smoking both reduce life expectancy by similar amounts- at least ten years for smokers, between 5-20 for those who are obese.
The list of health problems that can be caused by obesity is very long- including several difference types of cancer, heart problems, stroke.
Parental obesity is significantly linked to childhood obesity which is also associated with health problems for children.
The cost of obesity to society is huge.
The two are extremely comparable. So some of the understanding, empathy and compassion that we are able to offer to those who are obese should also be offered to those who smoke.[/quote]
Well that is very Boris propaganda like..... are we talking a few pound extra ( no great health risk) or so morbidly obese you can't move? The two are barely comparable on any basis.

Yes, obesity is linked to negative health outcomes, but not in anyway near the risk of smoking. The mortality rate for being seriously underweight is higher, interestingly. There is also increasing evidence that genetics play a significant role in obesity. Obesity doesn’t directly impact on others - except perhaps the person’s children. It’s not a good choice either. Because some people are fat, is not a reasonable argument for making smoking acceptable. It’s not.

That said, the idea that fat people receive compassion is just ridiculous. Fat people are the most discriminated against group in the U.K.

Pinkyavocado · 04/05/2021 08:50

I agree with him. I used to smoke, for over 20 years, 20+ a day. I gave up when pregnant with my first child and haven’t smoked since.

Even if you’re considerate you shouldn’t be near a baby I’d you’ve been smoking. If you can stop for 9 months you can stop for good.

Whatafustercluck · 04/05/2021 09:01

Yes I've smoked. I gave up a number of years ago when the pub ban came in. Only since giving up could I really understand just how disgusting it is to kiss someone who is a smoker. Dh gave up shortly after I did. That was pre-children. I expect your dh is worried about the impact your dying or other life limiting illnesses would have on him and your children, which is not unreasonable. Smoking is a really selfish habit, from the stench of being in the vicinity of a smoker/ forced passive smoking, to the fag butts dropped on the ground which apparently don't count as littering. And that's quite aside from the impact your ill health/ premature death would have on loved ones. It's a disgusting, expensive habit that makes you stink and kills you. And those you live with have every right to express their opinions/ ask you to stop as a result of the numerous negative effects it has on others.

Ivycrescent · 04/05/2021 09:05

They are not the same.
Obesity is not a behaviour.

Eating is a behaviour. Eating is a necessary behaviour. Too much eating however leads to obesity which leads to health risks.

Smoking is also a behaviour. Smoking is not necessary or healthy in any amount. Comparison ends there.

Whatafustercluck · 04/05/2021 09:06

Its just that we seem to have zero empathy for smokers and a lot more for people who find themselves eating too much

I have every empathy with smoker who want to quit and are actively trying. Op doesn't give a shit though, even though she's clearly very capable of quitting, having given up for 9 months before.

Cowbells · 04/05/2021 09:06

I used to smoke. Gave up years ago. If you smoke, even outside, you stink of smoke. It gets in your hair, on your skin, even if you use mints and breath freshener, there is a strong underlying scent and taste of smoke.

I appreciate you don't smoke much but why are you so resistant to giving up? Have your ead Alan Carr's book on giving up? You are supposed to continue smoking while reading it. I went from 20-30 a day to nothing within a few chapters. It works like magic.

If you need the fag break moments just swap them for a cup of tea or coffee - go outside 4 times a day to have a complete break, stare at the sky, sip your drink and reset. That is the most valuable thing about a fag break. Not the cigarette itself.

Cowbells · 04/05/2021 09:15

[quote Lifeaintalwaysempty]@LemonRoses obesity and smoking both reduce life expectancy by similar amounts- at least ten years for smokers, between 5-20 for those who are obese.
The list of health problems that can be caused by obesity is very long- including several difference types of cancer, heart problems, stroke.
Parental obesity is significantly linked to childhood obesity which is also associated with health problems for children.
The cost of obesity to society is huge.
The two are extremely comparable. So some of the understanding, empathy and compassion that we are able to offer to those who are obese should also be offered to those who smoke.[/quote]
It is but there are significant differences. The obvious one is - we have to eat. You can't give up eating and avoid areas where people eat. So it's a far more complex issue.
The other one is government impact. They did a big push to help smokers give up: the packets are hideous and covered with aggressive anti-smoking information. The cost is exorbitant. Smoking is now antisocial - you can't do it on transport, in pubs and clubs etc. Life is made easier if you don't smoke. If the government did the same to foods overloaded with processed sugar, flour and transfats then it would help. If every Mars bar or multipack of crips had photos of fatty heart tissue on it and cost £15, obesity would reduce. If all restaurants had to show in huge bold type the amount of calories, sugar and fat in each dish and had a legal obligation to offer a number of dishes that are nutritionally balanced and a healthy calorie intake, then it would be a similar scenario to giving up smoking.

Lifeaintalwaysempty · 04/05/2021 09:44

And smoking is an addiction- nicotine is highly highly addictive, so even if you want to stop it’s incredibly difficult, and some people don’t want to despite the risks, in the same way that some people don’t want to eat less and lose weight despite the risks.
They are not the same but they are very very comparable in a number of fundamental ways- my point is that smokers are completely vilified in the most deplorable language in a way that we don’t seem to use for people in highly comparable situations.

LudoBear · 04/05/2021 09:49

Yeah, you do smell. It'll be in your hair, your skin, your fingers.

Never smoked. Never even picked up a cigarette. Disgusting habit. No need for it. Should be illegal. Makes me so angry when I see people smoking around their kids. Saw someone with a tiny baby in a carrier, facing mum, and mum was puffing away on a cigarette. Right in babies face. It's child abuse.

Nanny0gg · 04/05/2021 09:59

[quote Victoriabythesea]@eepeep
Does he have any vices that he's unwilling to give up?

Drinking. and taking hour long toilet breaks on his phone to escape chaotic points of the day. My 5 minute cigarette breaks at the bottom of the garden are nothing compared to those![/quote]
You're kidding, right?

Nanny0gg · 04/05/2021 10:05

@Victoriabythesea

I've been a smoker since I was 17, I don't smoke a lot probably about 4 to 8 on a normal day and more if I'm out on a weekend. When I met DH I was a smoker but he's never liked it and is always at me to quit. I don't want to quit I know the risks and I try to be considerate, I don't smoke in the house and I wear a coat outside to smoke so my clothes don't smell, I don't spend a fortune on them and I don't have DH sat in smoking areas with me when we go out. Yesterday he told me he expects me to quit before we have another baby because it's gone far enough. I didn't smoke through my first pregnancy and I won't this time. I've never smoked around my baby either. I think it's unreasonable for him to expect me to quit when I've never said I would and I don't see how it bothers him. Some days I have a couple and that's it. Am I being unreasonable to never plan on quitting? I know the risks. I go running everyday, I have a healthy diet and I only have a couple of bottles of wine now and then. Why should I give up smoking?

My brother was like this. But he gave up about 30 years ago. He was in his 70s but he still died from emphysema last year(hideous disease. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy) My mother died young from the same disease and my father at 70 from a smoking related cancer.

Is that what you want? (And you will smell, definitely)