to thin k women still teach their daughters

[Sallygoround631]

to marry into money?
as opposed to taking are of themselves first?

I see this often on MN, and it makes me sad:(

christ sorry for typos.

as opposed to taking care of themselves first

I dunno. My mum always told me never to depend on a man and to make my own money ....

I’ve never seen that on here.

Are you sure? I've advised women not to give up work and become SAHMs without the protection of marriage, and more than one idiot has interpreted that as "find a rich man and stop working".

YABU I don’t think any mother teaches their daughter to marry, in to money or otherwise. Most women I know tell their daughter to stay the fuck away from men and their nasty, rapey ways.

But then I suppose I should add that in many ways I have married into money and am now a SAHP .....
Perhaps mum should have told me to do that and I'd now be a CEO 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Cocopogo most women you know tell their daughters to stay away from all men???

Really?

Bullshit.

I don’t see that on here. It’s always the other way round, surely.

I don't know of any mother who has taught their daughter that, perhaps we mix in different circles, I'm working class and have worked from the age of 14 after school and weekends then set my business up at 19 and it's still going strong 26 years later.

My parents encouraged me from day one to be self sufficient and independent and I do the same with my own two daughters.

I certainly don't.

I have taught my dd to ensure that she is able to earn her own money. If she is financially self sufficient, she can marry whoever she wants, or not to marry at all if she prefers.

I won't be teaching her to prostitute herself.

Never heard that to be honest.

I've heard it from a few people in real life, it's depressing. Not heard it on mumsnet though.

I've never heard it in real life or seen it on here.

I guess it does happen but I wouldn't say it's a lot of women.

This isn't a snarky comment but Have you been on a different part of MN to the rest of us?

I don't know a single mother that teaches their daughters to go after money, I'm sure there is some somewhere but they are more the exception!

I have never seen anyone on mumsnet say women should marry into money I’ve seen women warn other women about cocklodgers. I’ve seen women advise other women to not be financially dependent on men.

I haven’t seen that on here. A family member once told me to make sure I married money when I was a teenager, my mother was horrified and corrected that as soon as the family member was out of earshot!

@Twizbe

I dunno. My mum always told me never to depend on a man and to make my own money ....

That's exactly what my own DM told me and it's one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given.

I think you might have got the wrong end of the stick.

Do you mean you see posters advising people to marry for finical security?

Well I'm not going to teach my daughters to marry money but I'm going to teach them to avoid broke bums. I don't see what's sad about that

Not a view I’ve seen anywhere. All children should be enabled to achieve an adequate income to support themselves and any family they choose to have.

I've not heard it offline or seen it on here.

I've seen threads where posters suggest women marry if they're about to put themselves in a financially precarious position in a way that facilitates a man's career. On those threads a handful of posters seem to think this means trying to fleece a poor man for his money.

I've also seen threads where people discuss whether they would want to enter a relationship with a man who has a track record of flakey employment and liable to be a cocklodger. There's also people there who seem to delight in confusing a woman being a SAHP with a new relationship with a man who doesn't want to work.

In fact, there's a few posters on here who seem to think women being clued up about relationships, finances and marriages is awful for poor men.

Nope absolute opposite here. DD is 14 and only today we had a chat about marriage and work etc. She said she didn't see the point of marriage and I told her how women can be disadvantaged by giving up work to care for children and that in that case marriage is an important contract there to protect the lower earner.

I also told her that if possible, while making sure she's married before having children, that she should also get back to work ASAP and choose a career that would enable her to support herself as a lone parent if needed.

She has come to her own conclusion that men are trash. I don't correct her as sadly many of them are. She has a nice dad and brothers so she knows NAMALT etc but she is certainly wary enough of them that she doesn't want a boyfriend and is not in any way planning to be financially dependent on one.

Just the opposite in our family. Girls are told to get all the education and training they can and to keep working even during motherhood.
(My maternal grandparents had six children. At my grandmother's insistence the two girls were sent to university and got their master's. The boys were expected to get jobs and support themselves at age 18.)

On a thread a few months back about best financial decisions, so many posters said about marrying well...so yes, I have seen it on here.
For me, I was always taught by DM to be independent and never rely on a man and I am happy to say that I am financially independent whilst being happily married

I have never seen this on here or in real life