Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband taking childrens money

235 replies

Sj2344 · 28/04/2021 09:41

Hi, my husband keeps taking money out of our childrens money boxes/wallets. Sometimes he puts it back other times he doesn't. I have asked him not to do it but he still does! I'm not sure what to do

OP posts:
Newnamefor2021 · 28/04/2021 09:43

How old are the children? Awful either way but I'm wondering if they are old enough to express that. I mean it makes a difference in my mind if he's borrowing £5 from a two year old to pay the milkman and then returns it to taking it from a 15 year old without asking.

Obviously not paying it back is completely unreasonable.

Raindancer411 · 28/04/2021 09:43

Put them out of his slight or put it in bank accounts for them.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 09:44

Get the children a bank account?

accentdusoleil · 28/04/2021 09:44

Padlock ?

TBH I always do this as I never have change (usually for things like ice cream vans). I do put it back ... usually . Or add it on when they want to buy something like Lego set

Dogscanteatonions · 28/04/2021 09:49

Hide the boxes.

I used to take money out from them during difficult times but always without fail replaced it - I kept a note on my phone to record it.

AppleDolphin · 28/04/2021 09:49

But why is he doing it, why is so short of money he has to steal off his children?

Gambling addiction? Sex addiction? Other woman?

That is not normal behaviour to steal off your kids.

Sexnotgender · 28/04/2021 09:51

Why?? That’s dreadful!

I occasionally took cash from my babies box to pay window cleaner etc as I simply didn’t have physical cash on me but I ALWAYS replaced it.

Original poster
Sj2344 · 28/04/2021 09:51

He does it because he can't be bothered to go to the bank or if he feels he has spent to much in that week. The children are between 5 and 15. It is birthday or Christmas money they keep in case they want to buy something

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 28/04/2021 09:53

I think the reason matters. My mum and dad took me and my brothers savings (£500 each given by our gran) to pay the mortgage. My dad was a functioning alcoholic. They did replace it several years later and I then wasted it all.

Angrypregnantlady · 28/04/2021 09:54

Ge them locked piggy banks. Some people just think they have a right to everything of their kids.

Original poster
Sj2344 · 28/04/2021 09:58

It seems sad that I have to hide there money, they should be able to go into there money boxes and get there money out without saying I had more than this.

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/04/2021 09:58

or if he feels he has spent to much in that week.

That is not on at all.

I thought he was just borrowing coins etc (which I do because DS always has £1 coins). But in this case he is just stealing money to subsidise his own spending!

idontlikealdi · 28/04/2021 09:59

I take all the cash given to my kids and load it onto their GoHenry cards from my linked bank account. Not because my husband or I nick it but it's just easier / doesn't get lost / can't find the cash. Maybe something like that would work better.

Although it's bang out of order to do it unless needs must ie food / rent etc.

BashfulClam · 28/04/2021 09:59

That’s not on if he’s died ing too much then as an adulthood up to him to sort hi self out without leaning on his kids.

Shoxfordian · 28/04/2021 10:02

He’s basically stealing from them
This isn’t acceptable at all

SpiderinaWingMirror · 28/04/2021 10:02

Bank accounts is the simple answer. Esp for the 15 year old.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 28/04/2021 10:04

Do the children notice? Mine would notice this pretty quickly.

BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 28/04/2021 10:05

Could you get them go Henry cards and tell them not to tell anyone the PIN ?

jackstini · 28/04/2021 10:05

Not on at all and he needs to pay it back!

Get lock boxes & a bank account for them

Original poster
Sj2344 · 28/04/2021 10:05

Last year £80 went missing out my sons money, he was saving to buy something

OP posts:
Original poster
Sj2344 · 28/04/2021 10:06

Yes they do notice

OP posts:
132orbust · 28/04/2021 10:09

You are massively wasting money by not having it in kids savings accounts as they are the only ones that have an even slightly reasonable interest rate currently ( and that is far from what it was).
Such a nice thing for them to see their money 'growing' too.

Ponoka7 · 28/04/2021 10:09

Bank accounts are the only answer. Your son can have a debit card at his age. Why does your DH need cash? Or is it small amounts adding up?

Mellonsprite · 28/04/2021 10:10

If he doesn’t pay it back he’s stealing from your kids. He’s using their money to supplement his spending Sad.
Open bank accounts for them and keep their cards yourself.

thefishthatcouldwish · 28/04/2021 10:11

This would really worry me there is a huge difference between borrowing say £2 coz you need change for something quickly and taking money continually.

I would have to have a serious chat. My brother stole from me when I was a child ( he is much older and was an adult) took me a long time to forgive him.

How would DH feel if you took his money from his wallet?

Are you children at the age where they would benefit from a Go Henry card for example? That way they know what money is where.