Husband taking childrens money

[Sj2344]

Hi, my husband keeps taking money out of our childrens money boxes/wallets. Sometimes he puts it back other times he doesn't. I have asked him not to do it but he still does! I'm not sure what to do

If he's telling you he's setting you tests to check up on you, and worries about you leaving, that is coercive control and you could get some support from your local women's aid to talk through the effect it is having on yourself and your children and think about what steps you might take to protect yourselves.

Have now signed my eldest up with a normal bank account. Just got to take his birth certificate in

How come him stealing from them isn’t bad but you checking that he isn’t stealing is

Kill two birds with one stone by getting bank or savings accounts set up for your kids to teach them about looking after their money and make it difficult for him to steal it.

@Sj2344

Do you think he would stop doing it or does he just think it's acceptable? He keeps promising he will stop

He still owes your child birthday money from how long ago?

He’s never even admitted taking the £80 from your other child.

Why would he stop now?

The kids know he takes there money. When it is missing from there money boxes and I am telling them to hide them.

He's a disgrace! What a crappy father. Can you access his bank account to take the money back that he owes that find something to lock/hide their money in?

@Sj2344

Last year £80 went missing out my sons money, he was saving to buy something

Disgusting. Stealing for your own kids is pretty low.

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We have a joint bank account. I do put the money back when I realise it has gone.

My jaw dropped while reading through your posts, OP - he's an awful, awful person. The fact that he keeps promising to stop but never stopping makes him sound like an addict of some sort.

He has no remorse for stealing from his own children and by staying with him, you're telling your children that it's acceptable. By replacing the money he steals out of your own pocket and telling the kids just to hide their piggy banks, you're enabling him.

Your husband is despicable and I wouldn’t trust him an inch. What a way to teach children about his attitude towards stealing.

I so want you to remove every penny you can tonight from that house, go shopping and pay over every last penny.
Then watch daddy 😂 go hunting, thinking the kids just hide it .
Karma can be a bitch.
Do you think he actually has any money in the bank?

@Sj2344

He never asks, it's is not a few coins, it is notes. I have said it is stealing, he said it isn't. There is some good ideas with the note in the money box, I also didn't realise my eldest could have a bank account with a card.

Of course it’s stealing. He’s taking money that isn’t his. It’s irrelevant they’re your children. Lowest of the low, stealing from your own children.

@Sj2344

I'm just looking at the go Henry, could they use this to buy things on Xbox? He took £20 Last week which he did put back. He took £10 today which was a test on me apparently to see if I was checking up on him

This doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic on any level OP and it's such a shitty and entitled thing for him to do to your kids. Does he tend to think he rules the roost at home? Dad's decision is final etc?

I would take his phone or something of value to him, sell it and when he found out use his bullshit excuse "I felt like I spent too much money this week".

Maybe then the will realise what an utter idiot he's being. Hardly teaching your dc any morals is he!

@Sj2344

I have just set up the go Henry for my children. Will this seem a bit babyish for my eldest?

I'm sure he would prefer it to being stolen from OP.

I would go fucking mad if my DP did this and I'd be telling friends and family to make sure they transfer the cash to the kids bank accounts directly, because their dad is an unscrupulous cunt.

Then I'd kick him out. Takes a special kind of dick to take their children's birthday money. Jesus wept.

I wouldn't normally suggest this op
but I think its time you opened a bank account slowly get slightly more cash out than you need for shopping etc & open another account at a different bank & hide evidence

Horrible behaviour from a father to steal from his kids.

They won't trust him and it will impact their relationship and possibly scar them for future relationships with other people. Really not worth it to replace his fiver!

What would he do OP if you hid the piggy banks?

@Sj2344

Do you think he would stop doing it or does he just think it's acceptable? He keeps promising he will stop

This doesn't sound like the only issue in this relationship, so even if he did stop (which he won't) I would be seriously re-evaluating if you can continue to raise the kids in this environment.

Your husband is teaching your children it’s acceptable to steal.

We do have money as it's in a joint account, which is our only account, it's like more wants more if that makes sense. He opened a bank account to his parents address and had his mom put money in there on several occasions, I didn't know but found out later. He says he has closed it now

I can understand using dc money when a family is in dire financial straights or in an emergency or dc does something really bad which costs the family a lot of money (& they are old enough to understand it was wrong)
Otherwise just no

I was thinking of showing him this to show him how wrong it is as when I say it's stealing he says it's not and always tried to minimise it. Tbh I don't think it's worth it though.