Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you stay at someones house for a week

194 replies

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:07

You should at least chip in with everyday things like, loading dishwasher, cooking, clearing the table etc?

And if there is a reason you don’t surface before mid day, you should check thats ok with hosts, before coming?

To clarify, this was pre-lockdown and visitors have asked to stay again?🤨

OP posts:
Theobear88 · 27/04/2021 19:08

No because they’re guests

DeusEx · 27/04/2021 19:09

YANBU! Who are they to you?

Mellonsprite · 27/04/2021 19:10

I think they should help with the general cleaning and tidying, but I couldn’t get worked up about staying in bed until late.

Isittimenow · 27/04/2021 19:10

Are you the woman with the huge inherited house?

Allwokedup · 27/04/2021 19:11

There’s not many places I’d stay for a week at, my sisters/brothers/dads that’s it and all those places I’d help around the house even if I was only there for a meal. I think if you’re there for a week you should help

MrsSprogett · 27/04/2021 19:11

Yes, they should at least offer. They are not staying at a hotel, it's only polite
Are they ill?

ladygracie · 27/04/2021 19:11

If they ask to stay then are they still guests?! The not chipping in thing sounds annoying but the not getting up is more tricky.

isseys4xmastinselcats · 27/04/2021 19:11

we had guests stay for a week (family )a couple of years ago and yes she offered to help but i do my housework a certain way and they were guests so i declined the offer and they were at ours to see us not do my housework

Cloudfrost · 27/04/2021 19:12

would be polite for guests to offer to help with everyday stuff. however, u can also ask for a hand?

but check in with you about staying in bed till late? YABVU
as long as they dont expect you to serve them food when they get up, and they dont expect the household to remain quiet till they are up... they can get up whatever time the want, they are adults

Original poster
Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:12

Are you the woman with the huge inherited house?

I wish —I think—

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 27/04/2021 19:12

Who are they-I think you need to elaborate! It doesn’t sound like you want them to stay again so why must they?

Original poster
Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:13

Yes, they should at least offer. They are not staying at a hotel, it's only polite
Are they ill? No

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 27/04/2021 19:14

I wouldn’t mind the staying in bed as long as we didn’t have plans for the morning etc that they’d missed.
I think it depends on the dynamic of your relationship with them, who they are to you etc - but if I wanted help I’d say ‘could you give me a hand clearing these?’ Or ‘could you lay the table for me?’ Etc.

Original poster
Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:14

DeusEx

YANBU! Who are they to you?

Family

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 27/04/2021 19:14

I don't know. Depends who the guests are, what the purpose of the visit is, what the hosts have to do as well as entertaining...

ChristmasAlone · 27/04/2021 19:15

A week I would "expect" at least a takeaway and if they were going supermarket ask if I wanted/needed anything. Tidying if they offered would be greatful, wouldn't think anything if they didn't.

Bed thing wouldn't bother me.

Dozer · 27/04/2021 19:16

Wouldn’t host them for that long again! Weekend, max.

Wouldn’t make effort to keep quiet in the mornings.

Whythesadface · 27/04/2021 19:17

I hate this.
If last time annoyed you tell them no!
I had someone stay, they wanted me to be their taxi, I said no.
They never paid for even a sandwich for me when out. I got caught the first time £90 shopping when they tried to put a bottle of Scotch in , I said oh, when we get to the counter you can pay for your drink and treats. They took it out.
Never again.

emilyfrost · 27/04/2021 19:17

YABU. They’re guests. Why should they have to check with you what time they can stay in bed until? Confused

Happytentoes · 27/04/2021 19:18

Ah the joys of cf family. Say they are coming for a couple of days, then extend after arrival; eat everything; do nothing; expect you to babysit; stay in bed while you clean up saying ‘they are going back to work’ next day.No shit Sherlock, me too.

I declined their kind offer of a repeat visit. YANBU

Frenchfancy · 27/04/2021 19:19

I hate it when guest stay in bed till late. I often take time off work to spend time with visitors but then they stay in bed till late, have breakfast at 11 so then there is no way to go out for lunch. We are early risers and have animals so can't spend all morning in bed.

Next time some of my family come I'm going to work in the mornings to stop me getting annoyed by it.

stackemhigh · 27/04/2021 19:19

First of all, if you don't want them to stay, say no! Give no reasons.

If they're decent family, you should be able to say to them that they can only stay if they pull their weight and contribute to food/cooking/chores.

And if you can't say anything to them, they are not worth having stay over.

What are they like when you stay with them?

MrsSprogett · 27/04/2021 19:19

Ok, then I'd ask them to do some jobs while I was busy, load the dishwasher etc if it's annoying you

Original poster
Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:20

would be polite for guests to offer to help with everyday stuff. however, u can also ask for a hand?

but check in with you about staying in bed till late? YABVU
as long as they dont expect you to serve them food when they get up, and they dont expect the household to remain quiet till they are up... they can get up whatever time the want, they are adults

They expect to be served every meal and we were lucky if they took their plate to the table. I did start to ask and got limited help.

OP posts:
Original poster
Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 19:20

What are they like when you stay with them?

I never stay with them

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread