To think if you stay at someones house for a week

[Visitingneveragain]

You should at least chip in with everyday things like, loading dishwasher, cooking, clearing the table etc?

And if there is a reason you don’t surface before mid day, you should check thats ok with hosts, before coming?

To clarify, this was pre-lockdown and visitors have asked to stay again?🤨

If you have adult stepchildren surely your old enough to ignore unrealistic expectations?
Just don't had them up every meal when they want it!

Surely the sleeping in till midday can be solved with an actual conversation.

Two ways to handle it - "if you're up before Xam, we can go to Y".

Or "What time are you likely to be up by tomorrow?"

I'm chronically grumpy in the mornings (especially after bad dreams) and generally don't surface until I'm aware of reality and awake enough to act like a human being. If it's not OK, I'd rather you let me know before I came so I can book a hotel instead.

after your recents posts, you are not unreasonabe to tell them to fuck off lol if you do allow them to vist, learn from last time and do nothing for them

As a guest you shouldn't try and bully people into doing things as you do at home, if I want to leave the washing up to dry overnight, don't create a scene because you want to dry it there and then.

If you stay with family you help out, end of.
You don't Swan about and expect to be treated like royalty.

Just say no!
End of story ...

I'd just show them where the kettle and toaster are and leave em to it

Just say no.

This thread has brought back the bitter memories of having family staying. Mine comes from abroad, totally jet lagged, in the middle of the winter and sleep until 3 pm, then start complaining about everything being shite because it is too cold to go out in the evening and tourist attractions close at 4.

My ILS on the other hand, wake up at 6 am, have breakfast, tidy up and start complaining about why we need to have to sleep so late if we are not up, dressed and breakfasted by 8 am during a holiday.

Both demand to have a light breakfast, lunch at 3 and some light dinner at 9... then get curse the country they are in because how come restaurants are not serving food at their normal meal hours?!?!? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Dont have them to stay again, it's too much bother ! Xx

My mum's 91 and I can't imagine her behaving like this. My kids wouldn't have done this as children, never mind as adults and none of my siblings would do this either.

The staying in bed wouldn't bother me actually as I think from the sound of them I'd be really glad they were out of the way.

Why are you being so bloody evasive?

Why post if you don't want to give relevant details??

I'd mind the staying in bed the most. It means that everyone else's morning is wasted waiting around, as they've no idea when the visitors will actually surface.

No it doesn't. Everyone else can crack on with what they are doing. This is all about context, which the OP isn't giving.

They expect to be fed whenever they rise.

Well, change that expectation....... "Cereal is in that cupboard there, Plenty of milk in the fridge. If you want toast there is bread in the freezer"

Why don't you tell us who they are OP, and why they are staying, as it makes a HUGE difference to what I think.

You seem very reluctant to contribute much to the thread, which is odd because it’s your thread.

Your replies are quite spare.

I've just been to stay with friends for a fortnight and every day I chipped in as if it were mine - cooking, cleaning up, dishwasher etc, paid for groceries when I popped out, put coffee on etc.

@Visitingneveragain

They expect to be fed whenever they rise.

Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

It's frustrating that you won't say who they are, why so cagey? I think there's a hugely different dynamic for example if you're talking about PIL rather than adult step children.
Do these guests demand to be treated as though they're in a hotel or do you feel obliged to & then resent it?

How long did they stay last time and how long are they asking for this time?

I don't think it really matters on what's polite or not polite in this case. Personally I prefer all guests to keep out of it. What is important though is that their way of life (minimal effort, long lie ins etc) are not compatible with you. So why not suggest an AirBNB or similar rather than quietly seethe and think they are rude.

They'd need to bring a decent visiting gift and take you out to dinner at least once, plus do things like strip the bed, tidy up after themselves and generally be considerate.

I quite like it when guests chill out. I've had people come to stay who were stressed out or whatever and it was nice to see them sleep in a bit, use the slouchy dressing gown I put out etc.

But you can always tell who's pulling their weight and who's being a bit of a parasite.

I have relatives who are banned for this very reason from another relatives house.
Don’t invite them.
It leads to resentment
No matter how good a host you are, this is dreadful behaviour by guests.
Ban them too 😂
Just don’t do it overtly, just be too busy, away, and in the middle of decorating.
For ever

This sounds like an in laws thread!

Just say they can come for one or two nights, you found looking after them much too hard last time.

Why can't they lay in?

It's frustrating that you won't say who they are, why so cagey? I think there's a hugely different dynamic for example if you're talking about PIL rather than adult step children.
Do these guests demand to be treated as though they're in a hotel or do you feel obliged to & then resent it?

I’m trying not out myself but they are not step children or step adults