Page 4 | To think if you stay at someones house for a week

Visitingneveragain · 2021-04-27T18:07:45+00:00

You should at least chip in with everyday things like, loading dishwasher, cooking, clearing the table etc? And if there is a reason you don’t surface before mid day, you should check thats ok with hosts, before coming? To clarify, this was pre-lockdown and visitors have asked to stay again?🤨

EmeraldShamrock · 27/04/2021 20:24

Of course they should offer help and tidy as they go.
They wouldn't be invited next time.
You has time to run around after guests.

ChewtonRoad · 27/04/2021 20:24

When I visit family I don't ask, but get stuck in with cooking, doing the dishes, folding laundry, and keeping my room clean. I usually arrive with some treats and a bag of ground coffee for those who drink it, and when we go shopping I'll buy "house food" that we'll all eat.

My family usually ask one another "what time do you want to get up?" in the evening especially when something is planned. Although usually a late riser I get up when they do, and it's not a hardship.

They expect to be fed whenever they rise.

They've got more front than Tesco.

Laggartha · 27/04/2021 20:25

Could you use a method of showing what you’re quoting?

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:25

Ok at risk of outing myself and getting the wrath of Mumsnet, its the pils. I know how much mumnets like to jump to the defense of pil

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Arbadacarba · 27/04/2021 20:26

I would always offer to help with the household chores.

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:26

*Today 20:24 ChewtonRoad

When I visit family I don't ask, but get stuck in with cooking, doing the dishes, folding laundry, and keeping my room clean. I usually arrive with some treats and a bag of ground coffee for those who drink it, and when we go shopping I'll buy "house food" that we'll all eat.

My family usually ask one another "what time do you want to get up?" in the evening especially when something is planned. Although usually a late riser I get up when they do, and it's not a hardship.*

You are welcome at my house anytime

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Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:27

Could you use a method of showing what you’re quoting?

Let me see if it works this time

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GreyhoundG1rl · 27/04/2021 20:30

@Visitingneveragain

They expect to be fed whenever they rise.

Well, why not just disabuse them of that notion? They're guests, don't let them march into your house and tell you how it's going to be. You're not running a hotel, stop acting as if you are.

Laggartha · 27/04/2021 20:30

In-laws I would leave to your DP.

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:31

*GreyhoundG1rl

Visitingneveragain
They expect to be fed whenever they rise.
Well, why not just disabuse them of that notion? They're guests, don't let them march into your house and tell you how it's going to be.
You're not running a hotel, stop acting as if you are.*

I provided dinner and had plenty in for other meals, left them to help themselves. I also told them to make tea, coffee etc when they wanted it.

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Penchantforfloralpatterns · 27/04/2021 20:33

The only people I let stay are close family and two sets of friends who are close enough to know where I keep everything and sort themselves out and whom I know well enough to be happy with them raking through the freezer for something to eat. The person who gets hungry first organises dinner, we share takeaway costs, if it was a week long stay we would split the cost of a small shop.
Everyone tidies up after themselves and takes turns doing dishes etc, I don’t care how long people sleep for as long as they are ready to go out on time if we have made specific plans.

newnortherner111 · 27/04/2021 20:33

Just basic good manners when visiting someone's house to offer to help with things such as washing up or the dishwasher.

No is a complete sentence in response to their request to visit. Worth getting your DH on side for this.

GreyhoundG1rl · 27/04/2021 20:34

@Visitingneveragain

*GreyhoundG1rl

Visitingneveragain
They expect to be fed whenever they rise.
Well, why not just disabuse them of that notion? They're guests, don't let them march into your house and tell you how it's going to be.
You're not running a hotel, stop acting as if you are.*

I provided dinner and had plenty in for other meals, left them to help themselves. I also told them to make tea, coffee etc when they wanted it.

So, their "expectations" aren't actually an issue, in that case?

DenisetheMenace · 27/04/2021 20:34

I wouldn’t expect guests to tidy, etc., family or otherwise. The sleeping late every day would irritate me a bit more if we had plans.

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:34

Greyhound

The not helping is an issue.

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XingMing · 27/04/2021 20:35

We have, over many years, done all of the above. When we were childless, we minded our friends' young children because we were awake early, and let them have a lie in. We have had our elderly parents to visit, and allowed DMIL to send a chair commode because she was uncertain about being able to reach the loo (no stairs), and only recently got rid of it (too infirm to travel the five plus hours between locations, plus COVID). We have often whinged to each other, but would not say a word to our guests, because to say or dispute their preferences would be inhospitable. If you like or love someone enough to invite them, then you try to work around their odd habits and a bit of selfishness. Personally, I live in hope when we visit friends that they haven't allocated me a winter weight duvet. That makes me sleepless and very grumpy next day.

GreyhoundG1rl · 27/04/2021 20:36

@Visitingneveragain

Greyhound

The not helping is an issue.

Well yes, I agree. But you make your feelings plain there, too. Why won't you?

OwlBeThere · 27/04/2021 20:36

Depends why they are there, were they invited?

nocoolnamesleft · 27/04/2021 20:36

Washing up/clearing away, absolutely. I'd hate someone else muscling in on the cooking when I'd already got meals planned. So no thanks to that.

PaddingtonsSister · 27/04/2021 20:36

I would not expect them to chip in but getting up so late is just rude

Sunbird24 · 27/04/2021 20:37

Even staying over with friends for a weekend I’ll bring a ‘naice’ food parcel and flowers, and help with household jobs like bringing washing in off the line if they’re cooking dinner. They’ve all got kids so their households are busier than mine. Mind you they’d never actually expect me to do it, I do because I like to be helpful

Newkitchen123 · 27/04/2021 20:37

For breakfast...
The kettle toaster etc are there help yourself.
For dishes in this situation i wouldn't give them a choice... Could you clear the table / wash up etc while I make us a pot of tea /walk the dog or whatever
For shopping... What do you fancy for tea? You buy the ingredients and I'll cook / you buy the takeaway and I'll get the wine
As for getting up... If you want to do something together tell them what time you need to leave.. X is a lovely place for lunch but so if we have breakfast early we could go there.
If you want to get on with your life give them a key

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:37

*Today 20:33 newnortherner111

Just basic good manners when visiting someone's house to offer to help with things such as washing up or the dishwasher.

No is a complete sentence in response to their request to visit. Worth getting your DH on side for this.*

Exactly

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CoolCatTaco · 27/04/2021 20:37

Does your DH skivvy after them or does he expect you to do it all? I think I'd tell them no, entitled old gits.

Original poster

Visitingneveragain · 27/04/2021 20:41

*Today 20:37 CoolCatTaco

Does your DH skivvy after them or does he expect you to do it all? I think I'd tell them no, entitled old gits.*

This made me laugh. He skivvys after them. I would say, the dishwasher is empty, can someone do it? Dh would jump up and do it, despite a full day working and having made dinner.

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