To think if you stay at someones house for a week

[Visitingneveragain]

You should at least chip in with everyday things like, loading dishwasher, cooking, clearing the table etc?

And if there is a reason you don’t surface before mid day, you should check thats ok with hosts, before coming?

To clarify, this was pre-lockdown and visitors have asked to stay again?🤨

[Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair]

YANBU! I can't even go to someone else's house for a cuppa without clearing my own/their cup! Bloody rude! My mother would have clipped my ear lol. First time myself and new partner (who is a massive sleeper) stayed at my parents he didn't get up until afternoon..I was mortified..told him eventually he was being rude and he got up straight away as he doesn't have bad manners, he just likes to sleep! My mother thought it was funny though.
Ah the joys of getting back to 'normal' having to put up with all the folk that get right on your tits 🤣

[Bleachmycloths]

They are lazy and using your home as a pit stop. Polite, reasonable people don’t act like this.

[splishsplashsploosh]

We have guests who come and stay every year and they clear their plates etc and take us out for a lovely meal. They are welcome anytime. Had other guests whose kids pooped on the bathroom floor and smeared jam on the kitchen floor. They just laughed and we had to clear it up. They haven't been invited again...

[GiftedFish]

Yeah. No Thanks.

If I stay anywhere - I always help. It's just polite right. I wouldn't sit there while anyone washed my plates or cleaned around after me. I wouldn't have the nerve to not offer help.

[Endoftether2000]

YANBU if we stay at in laws and hear them surfacing, we also get up. Asking if you need help with anything is just good manners and a polite response from someone family or not.

[Endoftether2000]

I would find it odd staying in someone else's bed whilst everyone else was up. I would hate anyone to think we were bumping uglies😂😅🤣😂🤣😜

[BackforGood]

@Weeedonkey
saraclara wasn't snipey. She was being helpful.
Many, many posters have asked the OP to explain a bit more, and several have suggested she quotes things, but she has ignored all the requests, so I interpreted that as the OP not knowing how to do that, so it seemed helpful to me that saraclara explained how.

This thread would have been so much easier if the OP had started off with the information that has eventually been dragged out of her - but even now we still have no idea how it is that her PiLs come for a week.
I think most people would agree a week is a long time to have someone staying in your home BUT it is massively different if they normally live 2 hours away, against if they normally live in Australia or India or Brazil and the OP and her dh are in Europe somewhere.

[kennycat]

Cripes, I offer to help even when I’m only round for lunch so if I stayed for a week I’d probably have offered to repaint the hall stairs and landing or something!! Your guests sound spoilt to me.

[saraclara]

Thanks @BackforGood. I'm glad someone got it. I know that tone doesn't always come across, but I had to work hard to re-read my own post in a snipey tone. I'd hoped it was fairly obvious that the it was meant to be amusing as well as helping OP out.

[Mintyt]

Excuse me @Visitingneveragain can we stay, Reply, no .

[BurbageBrook]

Yes re chipping in but I’d love guests who stayed in bed till late. Love my own space in the morning!

[genius1308]

@DIshedUp

Having your mum come to stay is a bit different to your friends though

My mum raised me for 18 years, she bought all my food, cooked most of my dinners etc. If my mum comes to stay I wouldn't want her to be contributing to groceries, and yes I make all the food. Same with my grandparents. If they've made the effort to come to me, they can rest. It sounds like your DH is doing the work so I'd let him. Like fuck would I be happy if DP was hinting at my mum to load the dishwasher

A friend is a bit different, and I'd probably expect some offers to load the dishwasher, but I didn't invite them down to be a cleaner. I prefer people not to interfere too much as its quite annoying someone else tidying your home. And I find guests who are constantly trying to help irritating, just sit down. It ruins the relaxation of the friendship a bit.

This is me. I prefer guests out if my way 😆. My parents stay for long weekends, or a week, as they're a 3+ hour away drive. But regularly tell my mother to get out of my kitchen/stop cleaning/stop tidying/sit down. I like my routine and like to do things myself 😉 The husband is a different matter! I'm usually telling him the opposite 🙄

[Toomuchtrouble4me]

I have a coastal holiday house. I’m a teacher so I spend all summer down there and various visitors come. Only one comes as though she’s at a hotel, I never expect her to pay for anything as she had no money but she wanders around my garden on her phone whilst I cook and then sits out there with a coffee whilst I wash up! Lazy mare - because it’s her ‘holiday’ - eh, it’s mine too!
I never say anything as I do enjoy her company and she doesn’t have much luxury in her life so let her enjoy herself -but I don’t know how she goes it, I wouldn’t.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

She does it because you act as though it's perfectly fine.

[llizzie]

My late DH and I visited friends of his and stayed the night.

We were obliged to stay in bed late. They and their kids all had a bath - one at a time - before we could get in to pee. I was bursting long before lunch,

[Pipsquiggle]

This would piss me off, particularly the expectation of being fed whenever they choose to get up. FFS they sound like they live in Bridgerton!

Your DH needs to say something to them
'Yes we would love you to come and stay. We are quite busy with work / children etc so feel free to feed yourself when you get up and put stuff away in the dishwasher. Please could you bring a frozen meal with you that's easy to heat up so we can all have a break one night and have a drink? Thanks'

Bring a frozen meal with you is a tip a friend told me about (my mum brings about 3 meals!) and it's a life saver

[steppemum]

my dh is Dutch, so when we go and see his family, we usually go for a week, and stay with his sister. We all pitch in.
My kids are expected (by me) to lay and clear the table and dh and I wash up/pack empty dishwasher.
They do shopping and cooking.

It is just a way of making us less of a burden, and ensuring that we are all still speaking at the end of the week!

[revampneeded]

Please could you bring a frozen meal with you that's easy to heat up so we can all have a break one night and have a drink? Thanks

I like this! Nice idea, plus sends the 'You need to pull your weight' message quite clearly.

[Minikty]

Of course they want to come again, it sounds like a hotel. Noooooway, unless you are ok with them living like slobs. Very bad manners getting up at mid day and not even lifting or offering to lift a finger to help around the house. So I'd bared up the door,😱