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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to collect me from hospital?

243 replies

PierrethePenis · 25/04/2021 06:05

I’m having a minor procedure tomorrow. It didn’t occur to me it would be under general anaesthetic. It is and I was told I had to have someone collect me and stay with me for 24 hours. Now because of covid rules car sharing with people outside your household isn’t allowed. Obviously you aren’t allowed anyone in your house either. It’s all a bit tricky so DH is the only one who can do it. He initially said he would collect me but would have to go in to work after. When I asked if he could stay with me he said no, he had an important meeting he had to be in the office for. We had an argument about it and now he won’t collect me either. I’m left taking a taxi both ways which isn’t recommended and staying on my own. Am I being unreasonable to expect him to prioritise me and my health over a business meeting, just for one day?

OP posts:
ItsReallyOnlyMe · 25/04/2021 06:09

Not unreasonable at all.

He should prioritise you over his meeting in this circumstance. It is an emergency situation in my opinion.

BagORats · 25/04/2021 06:12

Nope. What a dick.

Can he collect you, go to the office for the meeting and then come home for the rest of the day?

He's still a dick

Fullofthejoysofspring · 25/04/2021 06:13

This is appalling. Is he this much of a dick normally?

ChristmasAlone · 25/04/2021 06:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CooperLooper · 25/04/2021 06:14

He's BU for now saying he won't collect you, but surely he's not BU for not being able to cancel an important meeting at work with only a days notice if you've only just realised you're having GA? Come on....

Cartwheelingdinosaur · 25/04/2021 06:19

Normally I say YABU because its just a minor thing. But my mil went to the drs the other day for a minor prodedure. So minor she didn't think to mention it to us. She was giving general anaesthetic. We then got a phone call from the drs saying she had had a bad reaction anaesthetic and we had to go and pick her up and to stay with her a while. She's never had a problem before.

Goingtogetflamed · 25/04/2021 06:20

@CooperLooper

He's BU for now saying he won't collect you, but surely he's not BU for not being able to cancel an important meeting at work with only a days notice if you've only just realised you're having GA? Come on....
Exactly this.
Tlollj · 25/04/2021 06:21

Well nothing like leaving it to the last minute. Is there nobody else you can ask. I know you’re not supposed to but the taxi driver isn’t in your family so I can’t see the difference.

KihoBebiluPute · 25/04/2021 06:30

The rules about not car sharing with non household members can be broken when they need to be, if it is a legitimate need. You aren't going to get prosecuted or fined for accepting a lift from a friend or relative so iiwy I'd ask someone else for the lift. In an ideal world you wouldn't be left alone, but if that can't be arranged you could arrange for a friend or family member to do hourly check-in phonecalls between when you get home and the evening, on the understanding that if you don't pick up you may be in need of medical assistance so they may need to come around and/or call an ambulance.

Yoshinori · 25/04/2021 06:33

@CooperLooper

He's BU for now saying he won't collect you, but surely he's not BU for not being able to cancel an important meeting at work with only a days notice if you've only just realised you're having GA? Come on....
This basically.

He should pick you up if you can but you didn’t give him enough notice to cancel a meeting assuming that meeting is the difficult to cancel kind x

blackcat86 · 25/04/2021 06:33

It's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other for this one. Ideally, yes he should be there but you've left it really last minute so I doubt his work will be impressed. Given the circumstances surely someone else can take you. Generally there are exemptions for needing medical help and care

PegPeople · 25/04/2021 06:35

He's obviously being unreasonable in now saying he won't collect you at all but of course he's not unreasonable in not being able to cancel a meeting and stay with you with only a days notice. You can and should have asked others to help collect you and stay with you, it's not against the rules.

As a small side note how on earth did you not realise you'd be having a general anesthetic until the day before!!

Saltyslug · 25/04/2021 06:36

A friend or relative would be allowed to collect you and look after you because it is a caring responsibility. To be safe both be masked in the car and sit in the back with windows open. Same at home

Original poster
PierrethePenis · 25/04/2021 06:37

We didn’t find out about the GA today it was earlier in the week so there was time to do something about the meeting. It’s only today thinking through what’s happening tomorrow I’ve got really worried. I have several medical issues currently so am worried that the GA might effect one of them. Or that one of them might have an effect on the GA. Especially as they’ve not diagnosed one condition.

OP posts:
Saltyslug · 25/04/2021 06:38

Have you anyone you can ask?

Original poster
PierrethePenis · 25/04/2021 06:42

@PegPeople the procedure is often done without anything. Usually you can opt for sedation or a GA but it’s your choice. It was rather a shock to find it being done under GA. Yes, it has to be. Didn’t understand the reasons but it does. DH had the same procedure last year and drove himself.

OP posts:
Saltyslug · 25/04/2021 06:43

Other family members or a friend can transport and care for you legally in this situation. I’ve copied age concern info below for guidance but it still applies to your situation due to caring need

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/coronavirus/coronavirus-guidance/advice-on-caring-for-someone-you-live-with/

KatherineJaneway · 25/04/2021 06:44

Is there no one else you can ask?

Saltyslug · 25/04/2021 06:45

Wrong link

Original poster
PierrethePenis · 25/04/2021 06:48

@Saltyslug have you got a link to a reliable source for that information? Only I’ve read the government website over and over. I did wonder if collecting from hospital was allowed. School are being strict and if someone shops you for breaking a covid rule your kids get excluded. So I’d need to be able to show that it was OK.

OP posts:
Nicolastuffedone · 25/04/2021 06:49

[quote PierrethePenis]@PegPeople the procedure is often done without anything. Usually you can opt for sedation or a GA but it’s your choice. It was rather a shock to find it being done under GA. Yes, it has to be. Didn’t understand the reasons but it does. DH had the same procedure last year and drove himself.[/quote]
So YOU weren’t given the choice? Who decided it has to a GA?

Saltyslug · 25/04/2021 06:51

Here

To expect DH to collect me from hospital?
To expect DH to collect me from hospital?
LastRoloIsMine · 25/04/2021 06:52

School are being strict and if someone shops you for breaking a covid rule your kids get excluded

Erm that cannot be true.

UCOinanOCG · 25/04/2021 06:52

[quote PierrethePenis]@Saltyslug have you got a link to a reliable source for that information? Only I’ve read the government website over and over. I did wonder if collecting from hospital was allowed. School are being strict and if someone shops you for breaking a covid rule your kids get excluded. So I’d need to be able to show that it was OK.[/quote]
Surely not? Schools surely cannot exclude children on the acts of their parents? That would be madness.

user77hjjy · 25/04/2021 06:53

School are being strict and if someone shops you for breaking a covid rule your kids get excluded. So I’d need to be able to show that it was OK.

Huh???