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Original poster

Holidays without the kids?

196 replies

Strawbfields · 23/04/2021 18:14

Hey, sorry if I've posted in the wrong topic.

Just wondering why the general consensus is about parents going abroad and leaving kids with grandparents etc? And also, at what age would it be acceptable to leave children at home with grandparents to allow parents a one off holiday abroad?

I don't have children yet. I am just asking the question.

OP posts:
Original poster
Strawbfields · 23/04/2021 18:15

What not if *

OP posts:
twiggytwoo · 23/04/2021 18:16

Depends on the parents, the children, the grandparents, the relationship between grandparents and children...

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/04/2021 18:19

For us, it was a no. A holiday is family time here so we all go. I can’t imagine leaving them behind nor putting that responsibility onto others whilst we go for a jolly. Plenty of time before and after children to travel alone.

headintheproverbial · 23/04/2021 18:20

A lot depends. We first went abroad for a three night break when our kids were 3 and 7, left in charge of grandparents. It was for a big birthday. They are now 4 and 8 and I'm not sure I'd do a week but definitely another long weekend.

I'd happily leave them for longer if it was just me going (ie they were home with a parent!).

HelloMissus · 23/04/2021 18:35

We did it throughout our DCs lives.
I think we first left DS1 he was 2 and we went to Paris just for a long weekend.
Obviously we always had holidays with them too. Still do and they’re grown adults Now.

MrsFin · 23/04/2021 18:38

We left our kids when they were pretty young, less than a year. Only a couple of days when they were that young though.

I think that the older they are when you introduce the idea of them staying with someone while you go away the more of a "thing" it becomes.
If you've been leaving then since before they remember, it's just a natural thing to do.

AIMD · 23/04/2021 18:43

I think this is dependent on a lot.

My children are 4 and 7. I’d maybe only be happy leaving them with my in laws for 3-4 days. However they haven’t spent a lot of time with in-laws, so maybe if they were kids who stayed with their grandparents once a week I’d be happier doing a whole week away. I would only do that as a one odd though.

I went to a wedding abroad (3 days) when my son was 18 months and it felt too long. Again though he didn’t really spent much time or do overnights regularly with anyone so it wasn’t usual for him

ThornAmongstRoses · 23/04/2021 18:44

Me and DH go on two city breaks a year where we leave our two sons with the grandparents for two nights.

I can’t ever imagine us actually going on a proper holiday without them.

minipie · 23/04/2021 18:51

We went away for 5 nights when they were 4 and 2 (having done one night away a couple of times before that).

For the longer trip care was split between our long term nanny (weekdays), and two sets of grandparents (nights) so that nobody had too much of a burden as they were utterly terrible sleepers - which is why we were so desperate to go away!!

DC were totally fine.

It will depend entirely on your child though. Mine have never been clingy and always gone off happily with anyone they know, without a backwards glance. So I was pretty sure they’d be fine. However some DC I know would have been incredibly upset. You can’t really tell in advance which sort you will get!

DelBocaVista · 23/04/2021 18:54

We've been having city breaks abroad since DS was 1. We tend to go for 3 nights.

It's great for our relationship and DS loves staying with grandparents.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 23/04/2021 18:56

It is not something I would do as I feel it is family time, and I don't want them to feel pushed out.

DelBocaVista · 23/04/2021 19:00

Oh and I should say that we still have holidays with DS so he's not missing out on family time!

grisen · 23/04/2021 19:02

My son went abroad with grandparents for a week just before his 1st birthday, when we joined in.
As a child my guardians did it regularly, and I never had a problem with it. I was even left with friends for a week on a few occasions. But my childhood was unusual.

GameSetMatch · 23/04/2021 19:06

Each to their own but going on holiday without the children is definitely not for me!

bellsbuss · 23/04/2021 19:08

Before Covid we did this every year, the children still always had a big holiday with us and we got to have 3-5 days couple time.

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 19:10

It would be bleddy lovely but it would never happen here as my kids are never with grandparents - I’d probably miss them if I did do it though 😂 I remember going on holiday with my grandparents as a kid and loved it and another time staying there for a whole week when my mum and stepdad went away for the weekend (not abroad). I was really close to them though.

My children don’t have the same bond with their grandparents as I did. They only really see them when we are around too.

My mum was always out too when I was young so a lot of the time I was with my grandparents in general.

DuesToTheDirt · 23/04/2021 19:13

We had one long weekend for DH's 40th, a holiday that I felt the kids were too young to enjoy. That's the only holiday we've ever had without them. We always wanted to enjoy holidays together.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 23/04/2021 19:13

The grandparents all suggested they would be keen to do this however in reality it’s never happened. I prefer family holidays anyway

Original poster
Strawbfields · 23/04/2021 19:14

Thanks for all the replies ladies.

As I said, I don't have children but most of our close friend group do. My best friend and I are going to Barcelona for a city break this year (hopefully!) She is bringing her 2YO as her OH won't look after her. I don't mind at all and am just looking forward to spending time together but I would be lying if I was to say I wasn't just a little bit disappointed. It's for selfish reasons really, I was looking forward to enjoying cocktails in the evening and going on a little bar crawl but obviously the whole dynamic of the trip has now changed.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/04/2021 19:15

It just isn't something we've wanted to do. We genuinely like going on holiday with the kids and don't have any desire to use up our annual leave without them (both work). I don't know if maybe i would feel differently if I was at home with them 247.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/04/2021 19:15

We left ours at 3&5 to go to a wedding (wedding was UK, we were living abroad. Grandparents flew to us)

Then at 4&6, and at 6&8, We moved Internationally and the children stayed at Grandparents house while we did the tricky stuff.

Holidays are for the whole family.. but I think DDs enjoyed staying with Grandparents more than traipsing around various museums in Berlin like we did once!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/04/2021 19:16

I think your scenario is different, big difference between one parent going away and leaving child with the other, and both parents going away and leaving children with others.

PotteringAlong · 23/04/2021 19:16

If you don’t want to go to Barcelona with your mate and her 2 year old just say no! You’re not obliged to go on holiday with your friends children!

qualitygirl · 23/04/2021 19:17

Yes we go on city breaks without the dc probably twice a year. I have Gina on a holiday without them all (including Dh)once before too. A two week reset that was much needed 🙌

BackforGood · 23/04/2021 19:17

Far too many "It depends...."

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