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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Holidays without the kids?

196 replies

Strawbfields · 23/04/2021 18:14

Hey, sorry if I've posted in the wrong topic.

Just wondering why the general consensus is about parents going abroad and leaving kids with grandparents etc? And also, at what age would it be acceptable to leave children at home with grandparents to allow parents a one off holiday abroad?

I don't have children yet. I am just asking the question.

OP posts:

Beetlewing · 01/05/2021 10:26

Yes please. As long as they're having their own holiday (at grandparents or some other nice place where they'll get spoiled rotten and make good memories) and they're fine with it.

Anonmousse · 01/05/2021 10:30

think that the older they are when you introduce the idea of them staying with someone while you go away the more of a "thing" it becomes. If you've been leaving then since before they remember, it's just a natural thing to do.*

My DD went on a residential school trip age 9. She was really homesick and hated it, and had woken the teacher in the night, desperate to come home. She had had sleepovers at friends houses and although at that point she had stayed at GPs without us, it was when she was a toddler so she didnt remember it.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 01/05/2021 10:30

@DelBocaVista

I don’t need a word with myself, I not desperate to piss off from my newborn.

Does it make you feel better to judge other people?

Not judging, I’m shocked at that attitude.

DelBocaVista · 01/05/2021 10:34

Not judging, I’m shocked at that attitude.

So telling someone you'd don't know why they bothered having kids isn't judgement?

It's a disgusting comment which just drips with judgement.

Mumof1andacat · 01/05/2021 10:35

The question in this should be why your friends partner wont look after his own child for a couple of nights not would you leave a child with grandparents. He should be more than capable of looking after his own child. He just cant be bothered by the sounds of it.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 01/05/2021 10:36

@DelBocaVista

Not judging, I’m shocked at that attitude.

So telling someone you'd don't know why they bothered having kids isn't judgement?

It's a disgusting comment which just drips with judgement.

Oh fuck off. Anyone who can’t wait to piss off and leave their kid is shit in my opinion.

DelBocaVista · 01/05/2021 10:42

Oh fuck off. Anyone who can’t wait to piss off and leave their kid is shit in my opinion.

But you aren't judging......

My child is staying out tonight so me and DH can go out for our anniversary and I can't wait. It doesn't make me shit or a bad parent. If it weren't for covid we'd be away all weekend.

You comments however do make you sound quite unpleasant

pollylocketpickedapocket · 01/05/2021 10:44

@DelBocaVista

Oh fuck off. Anyone who can’t wait to piss off and leave their kid is shit in my opinion.

But you aren't judging......

My child is staying out tonight so me and DH can go out for our anniversary and I can't wait. It doesn't make me shit or a bad parent. If it weren't for covid we'd be away all weekend.

You comments however do make you sound quite unpleasant

No I’ve left my child overnight. It was the attitude of the comments that they couldn’t wait to leave a 4 week old breastfed infant, that is unpleasant. Actually it’s disgusting.

aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2021 10:45

Oh fuck off. Anyone who can’t wait to piss off and leave their kid is shit in my opinion.

It's pretty obvious who is actually shit here...

Mooloolabababy · 01/05/2021 10:46

We've been on long weekends away with friends a few times. We tend to do a fair bit of daytime drinking on these weekends though (not smashed, just pub to pub casual), so definitely not a break for kids. I don't think I'd want to go on an actual relaxing holiday without the kids though. Holidays for me are spending time with family. We can only afford one holiday a year though so don't know if things would be different if we could afford more holidays. Also, I work in a school so my holidays are dictated by school terms so it wouldn't feel right going away when the kids are off. I think I'd miss dcs too much if we went away without them for a full week.

Branleuse · 01/05/2021 10:47

lol at the people who think people shouldnt have kids if they ever might fancy a break from it all occasionally.

DelBocaVista · 01/05/2021 10:48

No I’ve left my child overnight. It was the attitude of the comments that they couldn’t wait to leave a 4 week old breastfed infant, that is unpleasant. Actually it’s disgusting.

You're using very judgmental language for someone who isn't judging.

Divebar2021 · 01/05/2021 10:53

I think a lot of people would be pretty surprised at parents leaving a one month old to go on holiday. They would just be too polite to say anything in real life.

DelBocaVista · 01/05/2021 10:54

@Divebar2021

I think a lot of people would be pretty surprised at parents leaving a one month old to go on holiday. They would just be too polite to say anything in real life.

I wouldn't ask them why the bothered having kids though .... that's uncalled for

WaayyTooMuch · 01/05/2021 11:04

I think it's really context specific. We lived overseas when our kids were born, and really had nobody we could leave kids with, even if we wanted to. So it became our "normal" to always have them with us, even after moving back to England (where we had DSis as an option).

So the first time we were ever away anywhere together without them was when they were aged 6, 12 and 14. That was a last minute opportunity when DH was away for work, his trip was extended a week, and I flew over for a few days. It was amazing to have time together!

Side note: since it was a last minute thing, kids and I hurriedly packed, and dropped kids to DSis on way to airport. There was a case mix-up, and to my horror I arrived in our hotel with a suitcase containing lego, figurines and some PlayStation games (my suitcase that included a Rabbit and some other stuff ... was planning a surprise for DH ... was with my DSis)

Branleuse · 01/05/2021 11:05

Noones going to go off on holiday leaving a breastfed newborn. Their tits would be like bloody torpedos and would give themselves mastitis.

riotlady · 01/05/2021 11:07

Weekends away, any age really, we did a single night away when DD was 4 months and will be doing a weekend in a few months when she’ll be 3. A full weeks proper holiday I personally probably wouldn’t really do unless there was a reason why it wasn’t suitable for kids or they were busy with something else. But we’re not rich enough to do several holidays a year, it’s probably different if you can.

Eveningoftheday · 01/05/2021 11:09

@WaayyTooMuch, that is the perils of having matching suit cases maybe? Hope it worked out OK with the Lego and PS games :) I bet your DH was indeed surprised!!

We've always lived near extended family, and it's normal for look after each other kids from time to time. They all know each other very well, some great friendships, etc.

WhatTheFlap · 01/05/2021 11:23

This is actually a bone of contention (in a light hearted way!) between me and my mum. We watched some home movie footage a few christmases back and I noticed that I wasn’t in any of the family holiday scenes.

Apparently my parents decided to leave me at home when I was a baby as I “wouldn’t know any better” and “would have been a handful on holiday” 😂

My mum couldn’t remember who they left me with, but our au-pair was on the holiday with them and my older brother. Honestly sometimes wonder why they ever decided to have kids!

aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2021 11:46

*Apparently my parents decided to leave me at home when I was a baby as I “wouldn’t know any better” and “would have been a handful on holiday” 😂

My mum couldn’t remember who they left me with, but our au-pair was on the holiday with them and my older brother. Honestly sometimes wonder why they ever decided to have kids!*

Eer sounds perfectly reasonable to me, especially when you were a baby. Your poor parents now having to deal with your resentment!

WaayyTooMuch · 01/05/2021 13:55

@Eveningoftheday, indeed it was a case of same suitcases, and too much rushing. The lego, etc, stayed in the suitcase, but I/we did our best and had a great time

Always, triple check the suitcases these days :)

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