to not beleive that a women not breast feed is selfish and using 'i couldnt' as an excuse?

[aleciawalton]

im a mum of 1 who bf till 15 months, and now pregnant with second and will bf. i also am a breast friend and took training to support mums who are bfeeding. ( learned how milk is produced, history, attachment...)

i just think that too many women use 'i couldnt bf' as an excuse. its only been in the last 50 to 60 years bottles and formula have been around. what happened back then??? did more then 50% of the babys die? no cuase back then 99% women breast fed! why could they do it then and not now???
i just feel it a cop out and the mums are just being selfish.
yes its hard, but so was labour, so raising a kid. however they choise to have the baby. i know it takes time and comittment and not having that all important wine drink. but i personaly think that its for how long??? if i can give my child the best start and yes it can take a year or 2 but is my child not worth it??
if some one said to you while prego you have a choise to either have your baby and make your child as healthy as it can be or just have the baby, what would you want? why do we give the baby vitamine K, if not to help the baby be healthy. would you not get your baby vaccinated?

sorry just makes me mad. when i hear my nipples hurt and thats cant be normal so i stopped. or babys 3 weeks old and wanted feeding all the time so it ment i didnt have enough milk so i stopped. or there's a xmas party i want to go to so im not going to bf. the exuces go one. i really love the one 'bf is not natural, its disusting'. WTF were breast made for then and why does milk come out of them???

That's if there's any space up her bum - i think there's just been a collective boot stuck up it

I can't believe you gave up breastfeeding at 15 months - there's no excuse.

Look, (if you are even interested) you are unlikely to ever know the full reasons why a woman will choose to not/stop bf.
It's not your place to make assumptions.
Cant you just have enough belief in other womwn to assume that they have come to the arrangement that, ALL things considered, is best for themselves and their baby.

yuk - what a nasty OP

i used to be able to go to the gym when i had only one.

I agree with only one "excuse" you've cited and that is "breastfeeding isn't natural, it's disgusting", which, of course, is factually wrong. I seem to recall Jordan (of all people) saying (am I surprised ?) she found the thought revolting.

However, the fact remains that even women who are ignorant of basic human biology still have the right to choose whether or not they breastfeed, irrespective of whether others think they are being foolish. I am sure that those who genuinely think it "disgusting" are in the minority anyway and that women who don't breastfeed choose not to do so for a whole range of perfectly
legitimate reasons relevant to their own individual circumstances. Then of course there are a further group of mothers who would have loved to breastfeed, but couldn't ....... in their shoes, how would you feel if a total stranger came along and denounced them as a selfish mum who isn't prepared to put in the hard work and who prefers having a drink ?

You're actually being very very rude. How dare you ?

.... and I speak as a mum who was lucky enough to be able to b/f both my children for 13 & 15 months respectively. I can honestly say though that I'd never dream of criticising a non b/f mother ..... for the same reasons that I'd be furious if someone else attacked any other of my parenting choices for my children.

Llama llama cheescake, Llama llama mushrooms llama llama llama la la llama.... cant stop singing it now

heh heh heh

I tried for six weeks to breastfeed DD. No one else in my family has bottlefed and it never crossed my mind I would do anything other than breastfeed. I will also admit that women who said that they couldn't were just making excuses. However I could not get DD to latch on properly. I sought lots of advice and saw a great breast feeding counsellor but still the latch wasn't right.My mum, my sisters, my nan...all tried to help and admitted defeat. DD would simply arch her head back and scream when trying to position her correctly. Several times DH and I were awake at 3am with a screaming baby in one hand and a breast feeding book in the other trying to get the positioning correct. We even had the laptop in bed with us and watched breast feeding videos whilst trying to get her latched on.

As well as bleeding, torn nipples and thrush I also suffered from vasospasm of the nipples. As you are obviously lucky enough not to have experienced this then I can best describe the pain to you as like someone putting out their cigarette on your nipple. It was excrutiating. This didn't just occur when feeding DD but happened constantly. Showering was impossible because water touching the nipples would cause the spasms too.

My baby was miserable and so was I but I still wouldn't give up even though I was in constant pain. I decided to express to give my nipples a chance to recover. I did this successfully for three weeks but eventually my milk supply dried up.

I do not feel like I took the easy option. You accuse me of being selfish - I am not.

I know in my heart of hearts that I did everything I possibly could to breastfeed DD.If I am fortunate enough to have another child then I hope that breastfeeding will be more successful.

This post is as long as it is not because I feel I need to defend my actions but because I want to make you understand the struggle that some of us go through. Yes there are women who give up after the first day ot two but there are also many thousands who desperately want to breastfeed and don't manage to. Rather than condemn those that don't, you should feel blessed that you have managed to breastfeed.

although... if she is for real she might just not have realised. i think a lot of people for whom bfing was a struggle but they overcame it and successfully bfed do secretly feel a bit like alecia.

But the poster is a regular, well on the for sale boards anyhow and as this must be one of her first forays into the rest of mn lets not totally anihilate her. Much better to let her see that her opinion is not shared and why it is not shared. If we descend into nastiness (although I was tempted) it will be counter productive.

What a total nob.

lol at juxtaposition of carm and bella.
i agree with carm, for the record, she might just be in over her head here.

I'll hold my hands up right now and admit that the reason I breasfed both mine was primarily ME - not them ! That's right, I was thinking of MYSELF ..... so do I fit into the category of good mum or bad mum ?

I know all the benefits for a baby to b/f but the way I saw it was that I didn't have to faff about with sterlising bottles and formula, that breastfeeding was free and that - in theory at least - I would lose my baby weight faster !

Is it considered socially acceptable to b/f I wonder if your main motivation was selfish ?!?

i suspect the op is real and her hormones have blinded her ability to think rationally, as she says she is 37 wks pg on another thread

I couldn't..I didn't..

And just because I didn't, it doesn't mean that I don't love or care for my child, or that she wasn't worth it (WTF) or that I don't want the best for her.

I have my reasons & because you are so narrow minded I am not sharing them with you.

Nowt to do with wanting a glass of fecking wine or going to an Christman party though, I can assure you!

Oh & I was never prego...I was PREGNANT!!!

Get over yourself!

Sighhhhhh

Ok, a sensible post then

I secretly feel that people who condemn others for not making the same choices as them are quite lacking in empathy and intelligence. I really do. How hard is it to put yourself in someone else's shoes? People with Autism and Aspergers syndrome are allowed to lack empathy, as they really often CANNOT empathise, but unless someone has one of the above, I view lacking in empathy as a form of low intelligence. It certainly must affect your ability to interact with others?

If you work with people, surely you can imagine how someone else may feel? can you not see why they may not react exactly how you would? How selfish to assume everyone has the same life experiences as yourself!

Alecia .... you say you "will" bf your 2nd ? I hope that you can if that's what you want but there are many medical reasons (some of which have already been described) why you might not be able to.

I am trying to imagine how you would feel then ? Disappointed and upset obviously but will you regard yourself as a selfish failure or as the only woman you've ever heard of who has a genuine reason not to ??

Guess I am trying to say you shouldn't be counting your chickens just yet .....

ohhhh 37 weeks pregnant, you are forgiven all.

sorry made a mistake, she is 29 wks pg

gawd I was a complete looper while pregnant, at all stages.

night all!

I love and care for my DS, therefore I gave up BF when he was 6mo because he was actually starving.

Yes - starving.

I won't go in to the details but my body went on strike.

I HAD to bottle feed him from that age as that is when the doctors realised he was malnourished.

Would you rather I'd kept on and he starve?

Stupid OP ... very, very stupid...

15 months?
pah.
lightweight.

By colditz on Mon 12-Nov-07 23:32:58
I personally have breasts because I don't like direct male eye contact, but a concede I am in a minority.

lolololololol
quote of the WEEK....

God i hate these kind of BF fascists. They really do make it difficult for those mums who have problems and need to go onto bottles.

If it worked for you OP - great. We are all happy for you.

Just keep your smug and righteous opinions to yourself and let the mums who have serious problems with BF to get over it and care for their babies the way they think best.

My DW was in pieces when she had to give it up and took a while to get over it. I would hate to think that there would be someone like you judging her to be a bad person for it or someone who just simply someone who couldn't be bothered. That really is quite far from the truth and very insulting.