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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my boyfriend's ex using his Netflix?

180 replies

Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:45

Been dating boyfriend for around 10 months. Being a lockdown couple we watch a lot of films together.

A while ago I deactivated my Netflix because I just don't watch it enough. I know he has an account, (the one you pay the most for and you can have multiple people also watching) He told me just his sister watches it too.

I've been asking him to let me use his account for a while but he's been changing the subject, I've been starting to think this was really odd because he's usually so generous and we share many things. I started to have a weird feeling so I outright asked him who watches it other than his sister, he said nobody.

This weekend at mine he asked me to pick the film, I said I wanted to watch a film that was on Netflix, he tried to search for it on other platforms but it was just on netflix so eventually he signed in to his account so we could watch it.

He made me an account and left it signed it so I've just checked the other accounts and there's another account other than his sister. I googled the username and it matches his ex.

They broke up about 10 months ago and from social media she seems very happy in a relationship. To my knowledge they aren't still friends (he's literally never mentioned her)

I'm going to ask him outright who the other profile is but AIBU for being pissed off?

I knew something was wrong because sharing a Netflix account when you're in a relationship is surely not a big deal? And he made it a big deal. He only let me reluctantly. And he outright lied.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
Original poster
Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:46

I meant they broke up 10 months before we got together not 10 months ago!!!!!

OP posts:
shouldistop · 19/04/2021 10:46

I think it's a bit cheeky deactivating your account just assuming you can use his tbh.

IbrahimaRedTwo · 19/04/2021 10:47

It's not your business. You're being weird about it.

Also pretty cheeky of you to cancel your own account saying you don't need it and then badgering someone else to use theirs!

LizBennet · 19/04/2021 10:48

I wouldn’t get het up about it to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:49

I didn't deactivated my account just so I could use his. I deactivated it because I don't watch it enough.

We watch films on lots of platforms and it's mostly at mine. I wanted to use his Netflix for us to watch films together, I'm not bothered about watching stuff when he's not over and it was the fact he was so dismissive about it

OP posts:
queenoffarts22 · 19/04/2021 10:49

Maybe he just didn't want the awkward discussion with her over asking her not to use it. I would actually take it as a positive thing that he is trying to actively avoid making contact with her.

Think you're overthinking this.

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2021 10:50

With the amount of drama you've causing over nothing, I'm surprised he needs a Netflix account.

Chill, he's paying for it, it's up to him who he has on there.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/04/2021 10:50

What? Yes, Yabu. Cheeky as f to deactivate your account and then expect to piggy back his. Weird to google username.

DiptyqueandDiamonds · 19/04/2021 10:50

Yabu Googling the name. Why does it matter? Is there a secret Netflix chat function you’re worried they might be using?!
It’s not a big deal.

LizBennet · 19/04/2021 10:50

With the amount of drama you've causing over nothing, I'm surprised he needs a Netflix account.

😂

Footloosefancyfree · 19/04/2021 10:51

This is such a none issue.

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2021 10:52

Oh God yeah, Googling the user name was weird.

Original poster
Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:52

Again, I didn't deactivate it just to use his.

I literally only had my own netflix just so could watch films. Never watched it by myself.

We almost always hang out at mine so didn't see it as a big deal if we used his Netflix when we wanted to watch something there?

What about him lying?

OP posts:
MorgeMooney · 19/04/2021 10:53

How has he lied?

dootsnoot · 19/04/2021 10:53

I guess it's a bit cheeky/lazy of the ex not to have her own account at this point, but it's so completely and utterly not a big deal. I'm not at all a 'laid back' person, but I truly would not give a damn about this.

Original poster
Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:53

I asked him who uses your account? He said nobody other than his sister?

OP posts:
Shinyletsbebadguys · 19/04/2021 10:54

This is simply not a thing. Exdh and I still allow each other access to the Netflix account (granted we have dc together who explain they want to watch the thing with the alien thing in it....its usually easier to access the other parents Netflix account to see the recent things watch and a dc will yell "that's it " when it was in fact a programme about a cartoon dog Grin)

But ultimately if we didn't have DC I still wouldn't care and if Dp started some wierd possessive thing about it I'd be more than a bit Hmm.

It's Netflix not his toothbrush that he is sharing what on earth is the harm?

BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 19/04/2021 10:54

How do you know she's even still using it?! Maybe she doesn't and he was just avoiding the subject as he shares with his sister and doesn't want someone else on there. You've only been dating 10 months. It doesn't sound like you have the maturity level required for an adult relationship

BuckysArm · 19/04/2021 10:54

Maybe she pays for it/too? I really couldn’t get worked up about this. Bit odd maybe but on its own, it’s just kind.

Angrypregnantlady · 19/04/2021 10:54

I think deactivating your account then asking to use his is cheeky.
I think it's weird he felt the need to hide it from you but then with the way you've reacted, he was clearly avoiding it because of the way you'd kick off.

You seem pretty controlling and paranoid.

ShowUsTheMeaningOfHaste · 19/04/2021 10:54

I'm confused as to why you even care to be honest?

LizBennet · 19/04/2021 10:54

I can’t believe you’ve got yourself into such a flap over it.

DiptyqueandDiamonds · 19/04/2021 10:55

Maybe he just didn’t want you freeloading off his account and that was the reason for the reluctance and lying. He was trying to spare your feelings?

BuckysArm · 19/04/2021 10:55

Or, we have another profile under a random name that we use if one of us is watching a show at a different pace to the other.

WorkplaceLlama · 19/04/2021 10:56

I don’t see what’s weird about sharing an account with an ex tbh. I share my Disney account with mine and we broke up over a year ago. He shares his Netflix. No one is lying but I probably wouldn’t make a big confession about it to a new partner because it’s not anything that matters to me.