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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my boyfriend's ex using his Netflix?

180 replies

Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:45

Been dating boyfriend for around 10 months. Being a lockdown couple we watch a lot of films together.

A while ago I deactivated my Netflix because I just don't watch it enough. I know he has an account, (the one you pay the most for and you can have multiple people also watching) He told me just his sister watches it too.

I've been asking him to let me use his account for a while but he's been changing the subject, I've been starting to think this was really odd because he's usually so generous and we share many things. I started to have a weird feeling so I outright asked him who watches it other than his sister, he said nobody.

This weekend at mine he asked me to pick the film, I said I wanted to watch a film that was on Netflix, he tried to search for it on other platforms but it was just on netflix so eventually he signed in to his account so we could watch it.

He made me an account and left it signed it so I've just checked the other accounts and there's another account other than his sister. I googled the username and it matches his ex.

They broke up about 10 months ago and from social media she seems very happy in a relationship. To my knowledge they aren't still friends (he's literally never mentioned her)

I'm going to ask him outright who the other profile is but AIBU for being pissed off?

I knew something was wrong because sharing a Netflix account when you're in a relationship is surely not a big deal? And he made it a big deal. He only let me reluctantly. And he outright lied.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
ScottishStottie · 20/04/2021 08:38

Should add that i initially didnt change my password amd my ex was still using my account, but had to change it after he went into the settings and changed everything to spanish 😂

We didnt end on good terms, but actually thought that was quite a creative way to annoy me haha. Password was changed after that though 😂

ghostmouse · 20/04/2021 09:01

Its the secrecy thats the problem not the fact the ex is still on the Netflix account.

And what's wrong with op asking to use his Netflix account? After all the ex is still cheeky enough to use it!

Or does the ex take priority.

My ex was still using mine for a while after we split then as the cheeky fucker refused to pay maintenance I changed my

ghostmouse · 20/04/2021 09:02

Password

Bluntness100 · 20/04/2021 09:05

Is she still using it or is the profile simply there?

It could easily be she’s not used it for yonks and you’re jumping to thr wrong conclusion.

deardia · 20/04/2021 09:18

Am so shocked by the comments. I thought everyone would side with op! Am with you op. Of course it's odd that his ex still uses it, he should've changed his password by now, you wouldn't have an ex have your password to anything else so why Netflix, they aren't together so she can get her own Netflix or use new bf Netflix. It's a entirely different matter when 2 people who share a child share the account. This is not the same thing.
I would want to know why he hid this from you, if it's no big deal why didn't he tell you that she prob still uses it and he isn't bothered by it

PlanterGents · 20/04/2021 09:22

I think it’s really weird that he’s letting someone he has no contact with, use his Netflix? Surely you’d just change the password?

Also, he lied to OP and said it was his sister using it, but it’s his ex Confused

Belladonna12 · 20/04/2021 10:02

The fact she is using his Netflix isn't in itself weird but avoiding letting you use the account so that you didn't find out is. If he thought you would be bothered about it, it would have been easier just to change the password so she could no longer use it.

hartwood · 20/04/2021 10:32

Also surprised at the replies. How on earth is it cheeky for OP to use her boyfriends Netflix but not cheeky for his ex to be?

I think it's very weird, even weirder that he lied about it. He knows the profile is still there. Why wouldn't you just delete it and change the password?

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 20/04/2021 10:42

@rwalker

It's nice to see that just because they split he's not petty and vengeful to take it off her.
It's not petty and vengeful to have boundaries though?

I think having a clean break is healthier than staying linked like this for years.

It's weirdly intimate (creepy) for exes to be able to see what the other is binge-watching.

Candyfloss99 · 20/04/2021 10:45

It sounds like he can't let go and Netflix is a way he is still connected to her and can see what she is watching etc. If he just let her still watch it and there was nothing suspicious then he wouldn't have lied to you.

CornishGem1975 · 20/04/2021 11:04

I'm divorced and I still let my ex use some of my accounts. What's the big deal?

Newkitchen123 · 20/04/2021 11:11

Am I missing something here about googling the name? On my Netflix it just has first names so one for Janet and one for John etc. So what did you Google?

KrisAkabusi · 20/04/2021 11:33

It's weirdly intimate (creepy) for exes to be able to see what the other is binge-watching.

This is just batshit mental. Why would anyone care what someone else watches? Why would anyone even look?

Jjjjjj1981 · 20/04/2021 11:43

So they’ve been split for ten months and you’ve been together ten months.....all sounds a bit mad to me Confused

JosephineBaker · 20/04/2021 12:06

Who he allows to use his Netflix account is his business.

From your reaction, I’d presume he was trying to avoid drama.

Meowchickameowmeow · 20/04/2021 12:58

It's weirdly intimate (creepy) for exes to be able to see what the other is binge-watching

Fuck me sideways, what's intimate and creepy about someone knowing what you're watching on TV?

DianaT1969 · 20/04/2021 14:16

Are you 11? This could be a nonsense jealous drama sub plot on The Only Way is Essex.
On the plus side, when he finally sees the red bunting hanging over you, he'll have less life admin to do if he gets back with his ex.
I'm also curious how you Google a Netflix user name. It usually a first name or nickname. Did she seriously create a Netflix profile with her full name and very unusual surname?

Wanderlust20 · 20/04/2021 14:19

His ex is the CF and he's a mug to still let her use it.

I changed my Netflix password as soon as me and my ex split to, he could just do that?

LilMidge01 · 20/04/2021 14:24

Me and my ex from 2 years ago still use the same Netflix account (different user profiles). Theres nothing between us but we're still amicable and we've separated everything else..but tbh we are just lazy. I have a new boyfriend now. We watch things together on the user profile. Uts not really a big deal. I see how you could be a bit annoyed by the blatant lie but maybe he just felt a bit uncomfortable mentioning his ex (I am open about my past relationships but still dknt like them to be brought up suddenly and unexpectedly) and panicked and now cant really go back on it. I think you're thinking too much into it..its not like it's a social.platform where they message etc

LilMidge01 · 20/04/2021 14:25

Oh also I can literally think of millions of things I would rather do to waste my time than bother going into his profile to see what hes been watching...who the f cares?

OmniversalSpecies2021 · 21/04/2021 23:42

you could have just deleted her ..........

saraclara · 21/04/2021 23:54

@OmniversalSpecies2021

you could have just deleted her ..........
From an account that isn't OP's and that she doesn't pay for? What right would she have to do that?
Namechange1067949 · 22/04/2021 00:02

@PlanterGents

I think it’s really weird that he’s letting someone he has no contact with, use his Netflix? Surely you’d just change the password?

Also, he lied to OP and said it was his sister using it, but it’s his ex Confused

This! Really surprised by the other answers you’re getting op
OmniversalSpecies2021 · 22/04/2021 00:06

^From an account that isn't OP's and that she doesn't pay for? What right would she have to do that?^

What right does his ex have being on his account?
Especially as he claims nobody else bar his sister uses it - so she's doing him a favour.
If he notices and then says something about it then OP knows he's not being truthful with her.

Incognitool · 22/04/2021 00:07

@Meowchickameowmeow

It's bloody Netflix it's not bodily fluids and a bed.
Grin

My sister was given access to Netflix (which she used for teaching EFL classes) by a former employer who treated her so badly that when she retrained as an addiction psychotherapist and discovered (years later) the employer hadn’t changed the logins, she gave them to every addict she was treating.