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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my boyfriend's ex using his Netflix?

180 replies

Netflixproblems · 19/04/2021 10:45

Been dating boyfriend for around 10 months. Being a lockdown couple we watch a lot of films together.

A while ago I deactivated my Netflix because I just don't watch it enough. I know he has an account, (the one you pay the most for and you can have multiple people also watching) He told me just his sister watches it too.

I've been asking him to let me use his account for a while but he's been changing the subject, I've been starting to think this was really odd because he's usually so generous and we share many things. I started to have a weird feeling so I outright asked him who watches it other than his sister, he said nobody.

This weekend at mine he asked me to pick the film, I said I wanted to watch a film that was on Netflix, he tried to search for it on other platforms but it was just on netflix so eventually he signed in to his account so we could watch it.

He made me an account and left it signed it so I've just checked the other accounts and there's another account other than his sister. I googled the username and it matches his ex.

They broke up about 10 months ago and from social media she seems very happy in a relationship. To my knowledge they aren't still friends (he's literally never mentioned her)

I'm going to ask him outright who the other profile is but AIBU for being pissed off?

I knew something was wrong because sharing a Netflix account when you're in a relationship is surely not a big deal? And he made it a big deal. He only let me reluctantly. And he outright lied.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
saraclara · 19/04/2021 11:36

Ha! My daughters ex shared his Netflix account with her and with me when they were together. It wasn't until more than a year after they split up, that he deleted us. I suppose there was no real need to until he needed one of the logins for another reason.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/04/2021 11:40

It's really not that strange to have exes on. I'm on my exes Netflix, congestion zone & dartford tunnel account (as is my dad) after two years. I suspect we will be forever. This is because he is 1) lazy 2) rich & 3) laid back. It isn't because we still fancy each other.

LizBennet · 19/04/2021 11:42

OP you are not weird, anyone that thinks this is normal behaviour are weird.

Aah, the Oracle has spoken.

Blankspace101 · 19/04/2021 11:43

Are you in high school?

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2021 11:45

@LizBennet

OP you are not weird, anyone that thinks this is normal behaviour are weird.

Aah, the Oracle has spoken.

Indeed. The vast majority of posters on this thread are therefore weird 🤣🤣

Couldn't possibly be another reason why they think it's ok

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 19/04/2021 11:46

Pay for your own Netflix if you want to start demanding answers on who watches it. Hmm

NVision · 19/04/2021 11:48

I think its very weird to be so upset about this and your response is probably testament to the reason he didn't want to just be up front in the first place, would have been a big issue clearly.

aSofaNearYou · 19/04/2021 11:48

I agree with you that he made this into something weird by being so blatantly shirty about it from the start.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 19/04/2021 11:50

@Jelbo

The lying would be the issue for me, does the ex still use the account or has he just not removed her profile?

I would find it odd too so i don't agree with all the previous posts. And i know that if it was the other way around my partner would go mental at me if i had an ex on my netflix account and had denied anybody else using it when asked. However my partner is very ott about these things and doesnt like me having ex's on fb, mentioning them ever etc.

Your in a controlling relationship, your partner sounds awful.
justwant2beamum · 19/04/2021 11:50

OP I think most of these other replies are very unfair to you. If you're dating someone new and they've maybe not kicked their ex of 1/2 months off then fair enough. But it's a bit weird 10 months later to still have your ex on your Netflix then act dodgy when your new partner wants to use it/watch it with you. Fair enough if he let her access continue for a couple of months post split up, but a few months into your relationship or when you asked him to log in to his, he should have logged her account off, given you access and that's that. There doesn't even need to be contact with an ex you can just manage the devices and log all devices out then ensure you and his sis have access. If the ex then messaged him if she couldn't get logged on then imo she's a weirdo.

I had my now DP's account when we were first seeing years ago. We then split for over a year and I carried on using as I wasn't logged out. He knew and didn't care. But if I couldn't log in one day and realised he'd kicked me out I certainly wouldn't have messaged him and asked for the password or why he'd kicked me out. I'd have just accepted it and moved on.

Seems to me your BF is scared to kick the ex off - why's he lying and why's he so worried about upsetting her would be my issues.

Grognonne · 19/04/2021 11:51

You haven’t said how you know she’s still using it? My ex used mine for a couple of years after and I had no idea!!

VapeVamp12 · 19/04/2021 11:51

Lol, my husbands ex wife is on MY netflix account - I don't even know how it happened. His brother is also on there and one of his kids.

I think tbh a lot of people probably have ex's or old friends on there, she may not even use it.

Candyfloss99 · 19/04/2021 11:52

He was being very strange about it all and so are you.

Maggiesfarm · 19/04/2021 11:53

It's not your business. He's your boyfriend of less than a year (most of which has been in lockdown), not a long term partner, he can do what he likes. If he is paying for it anyway it's up to him who he lets use his Netflix account and it would be a bit mean to delete her from it.

ForThePurposeOfTheTape · 19/04/2021 11:54

Just because she has a profile doesn't mean she's using it. You can check when her profile last watched stuff but a lazy person might just pick the first profile when they log in.

If he was cagey about sharing I'd suspect that he was watching questionable stuff rather than wanting to hide the ex profile

SeaTurtles92 · 19/04/2021 11:58

Oh jeez. What a drama over a Netflix account.
If you're that insecure about a Netflix account then you should read think your choice.

Did he lie though or did he think you were a CF deleting yours to use his.

I've given my Netflix to a few people. I don't remember who but if my DP sulked about who was on there I'd probably laugh. It's ridiculous.

SeaTurtles92 · 19/04/2021 11:59

Re think*

SeaTurtles92 · 19/04/2021 12:01

@ChaosTrulyReigns

Is she sending secret messages through what she's watching?

Unforgotten

The One

Irreplaceable You

😂😂.
Kinneddar · 19/04/2021 12:06

Of course its not ok for a partners ex to share or still use a Netflix account

Why on earth not?

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2021 12:12

@Kinneddar

Of course its not ok for a partners ex to share or still use a Netflix account

Why on earth not?

Maybe they got 'Netflix' and 'bed' mixed up.

It's easily done.

FireflyRainbow · 19/04/2021 12:19

Yabu and cheeky thinking you can use his account to watch films you want to see. Rude.

Meowchickameowmeow · 19/04/2021 12:19

@Kinneddar

Of course its not ok for a partners ex to share or still use a Netflix account

Why on earth not?

Maybe he has to go round and type the password in with his penis?
FuckyouCovid21 · 19/04/2021 12:23

@Netflixproblems

Wow helpful
What, because we don't agree with you? You sound very immature, it's not of your business who HE has on HIS Netflix account. If it bothers you that much, stop being a cheapskate and reactivate your own
Trisolaris · 19/04/2021 12:24

I wouldn’t be bothered about his ex using it, but I’d be bothered about him not letting us use it together and actively lying about it.

He’s happy to use all of your accounts and to share his accounts with other people but doesn’t want you to use his?

PinkCookie11 · 19/04/2021 12:25

Seems a lot of people haven’t even read the op properly.
She deleted hers as didn’t watch it enough and they want to watch a film together so used his? What is so wrong in that?? She never said she’s going to use his all the time?

Seems to me he just didn’t want to bring it up that it was his ex on account to save an tension.
If you are both happy, the ex is happy in her new relationship then it’s fine. She may not even go on it.
I think your more pissed he didn’t tell you, which rightly so.

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