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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate working?

198 replies

WorkPhobic · 15/04/2021 08:07

Started a new job two weeks ago. Perfect hours for me. Lovely people. Great location. Basically my perfect job. But I still hate it.

I hated my old job. The one before it and the one before it. In fact, I've hated every job I've ever had. And despite the fact that this is the best one I've had and it's perfect for me, I still hate it.

I'd much rather just be at home. I also have a problem with authority and being told what to do. An attitude that basically isn't compatible with being an employee! I hate knowing that on the days I work I have to stick to a routine and get up at a certain time, etc. I hate having any obligations or plans. I can't explain it but the routine that comes with being employed upsets me.

Should add I'm on ADs for anxiety after a breakdown last year. Also have a three year old.

I think I must just hate working, no matter what I do.

OP posts:
Incywincyspinsters · 15/04/2021 08:10

Does your problem with authority and being told what to do cause you problems at work?

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 15/04/2021 08:13

I'm the same, I think. Easter holidays here so not at work currently (teacher) and it's been wonderful. Already feeling resentful about having to use my time today to start planning for next term and hate that I'll have to get up on Monday and trudge in. I've never 100% liked my teaching jobs. Before that I worked in retail which was okay, but a bit like you, I hate having to work to someone else's schedule!

I do, however, have a self-employed job I do, too, and I love that but so far it doesn't make me enough money to leave the job I hate!

Yamaya · 15/04/2021 08:15

I don't have a problem with authority and am actually very compliant but I also hated every single job I've had. Its not fair that just to live you are forced to waste your life at work doing menial crap with people you don't particularly like for the majority of your time. You just get to go home eat sleep and then do the same crap again the next day.

Sleepisoverrated150 · 15/04/2021 08:15

I don’t have an issue with being told what to do but god I hate working.

There was a thread recently asking if you judged SAHM and all I could think was noooo I want to join you I hate working! 😂🤣

ToryStelling · 15/04/2021 08:15

I could’ve written this, OP.

I’ve hated every job I’ve ever had, from waitressing to office work. I know what you mean about ‘being on a schedule’. Plus, I’m not ambitious at all. I have a wonderful life outside of work and really resent having to spend time away from it. I’m definitely a ‘work to live’ person!

I’m only early 30s and it fills me with dread that this is it until I retire. I just keep putting the lottery on!

pandapop17 · 15/04/2021 08:16

I have that authority thing as well. It’s never caused me problems as I even though I hate being told what to do I still do it. It’s not about being asked to do unreasonable stuff, everything my boss asks me is part of my job. It’s just something I feel inside, a general dislike of being told what to do! I hated school and being a child because of this as well. Although I was very well behaved and did well at school. I have no advise just wanted to let you know that others feel it to.

I don’t hate working just wish i could work part time. I am an introvert and having a couple of days by myself at home would just make me a happier person. Hope it can happy at some point.

ThatOtherPoster · 15/04/2021 08:22

I CAN RELATE. I just get so resentful!

Could you work for yourself? That’s much much better. I’ve been self employed for 25 years (with the odd p/t job like my current one to get me out of the house) and it’s amazing. I’d look in that direction if I were you. You can make epic money and control everything yourself.

Whoscoatsthatjacket · 15/04/2021 08:23

YANBU op. I hate it too. I work had and I’m good at my job, I have hours that work around school times.
I also had a breakdown a few weeks ago and am currently off but am going back at the end of the month.
I don’t have a problem with being told what to do so much, but I just find it hard being a mum, working and running a home all at the same time. Being off work has made hell of a difference but sadly we can’t afford to live on one income.

Eyevorbig0ne · 15/04/2021 08:24

I've worked for 32 years and can honestly say I've hated every job I've ever done. Either too boring or too challenging, mainly made worse by management and colleagues (current colleagues are great though).
Bright spots are good annual leave allowances.
Also have a major issue with being told what to do. I don't know why, I was also like it at school.
I just get cross that some folk don't have to work and I do.
If I could get the same amount on Ben's I would not work.
I should really pursue a diagnosis for aspergers as maybe I could claim Ben's or get more support at work.

ThatOtherPoster · 15/04/2021 08:24

Could you have ADHD? That often goes along with a hatred of routine and having anxiety. Just a thought.

And possibly you’re just in the wrong job?

FeistySheep · 15/04/2021 08:26

I actually have a reasonably flexible job where I can choose the schedule (to some extent) but I still hate it. I just hate work! Some people just do. Would self-employed be better for you? Is there any way you could make that work?

There is also the subject matter of the job...
The things I love doing in life (hobbies etc) can't be worked into a job, so it's not like I'll ever be doing an actual thing I enjoy. Like if I loved tinkering with cars I could be a mechanic etc.
People I know who love their jobs have either turned hobbies into jobs, or they do something very emotionally rewarding and get joy from that.

I will never like working, so I just look for jobs with nice people and decent hours Grin

onemouseplace · 15/04/2021 08:26

I know what you mean OP. I have, at most, tolerated every job I’ve ever done and never quite believe people who say they love what they do.

GoddessKali · 15/04/2021 08:27

I hear you! I hate working and being told what to do too

Original poster
WorkPhobic · 15/04/2021 08:40

I only work ten hours a week! Five on a Monday and five on a Friday. It really is ideal for me but I still hate it. Have always suspected ADHD to the PP who suggested this. And although, I have a problem with authority it never used to impact my work, always done what I was asked, etc. But the older I get the harder it becomes to remain compliant.

OP posts:
ChazP · 15/04/2021 08:48

I’m self-employed so don’t have the authority issue, but have absolute sympathy about hating work.

I was off with the kids last week and I’m just a nicer person when I’m not working. Back at work this week and I’m snapping at everyone and getting endlessly irritated.

Once you realise how much nicer you are when you’re not working, it’s thoroughly depressing to have to carry on working.

GettingAwayWithIt · 15/04/2021 08:52

I don’t hate my job but I do hate working. Getting wrenched from sleep at ass o’clock in the morning to battle getting a toddler ready, drive to her nursery and dump her there for the day while I rush off to get to work for a set time, barely get a break, maybe finish at a set time maybe finish late, rush out to get toddler, go home, have an hour or so with her, maybe have an hour for a hobby once she’s asleep and fall into bed and do it all again. My salary is crap. Career progression opportunities are crap. Retirement is at least 30 years away, probably more as the government will no doubt shift the goalposts to at least 75 years old. There is aspects of my life I love but my goodness I spend too much time working to pay to keep a (modest) roof over our heads, eat, stay warm and clothed.

CarlottaValdez · 15/04/2021 08:54

I go through phases of this although it’s better now I’m more senior as I can set my own schedule to a large extent. Sometimes I really like my job but I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. Partly why I’ve chased a higher salary is because at least I’m well paid for the annoyance of having to have a job.

Mistlewoeandwhine · 15/04/2021 08:56

I hate work too. I’m self employed but some of my customers are absolute knobs.

Mouseback · 15/04/2021 09:00

I feel the same even though I don't mind my job and I like the people I work with. It just seems so ridiculous that we have one shot at life but spend the majority of it doing something we don't really want to do. Being forced out of bed at half six on dark rainy mornings to go somewhere you don't really want to be. I can't bear another thirty years of it!

LaMariposa · 15/04/2021 09:03

Teacher here too. I love being in the classroom but hate everything else that comes with the job. I hate getting up, having to follow a schedule. The knowledge I have to work all this weekend coming (and every weekend) to prep for the following week.
I was setting up a tuition business but Covid knocked all that on the head.

cushioncovers · 15/04/2021 09:09

I love being busy but hate working. My life at work is taken up by being managed by someone else. I'm told when I can have a break, my breaks are timed, I have to shovel in my lunch and keep clock watching. I'd far rather be at home with projects on the go.

Sparklfairy · 15/04/2021 09:12

I'd suggest working for yourself but it doesnt sound like that would work for you either. The reality is you always have a 'boss' (your clients) and we all have shit parts of what we do that we really dont like. Part of being am adult is sucking it up. For 10 hours a week really you should just be knuckling down. Do look at an adhd diagnosis though as you may be able to get medication to manage.

ApplesinmyPocket · 15/04/2021 09:21

I have a wonderful life outside of work and really resent having to spend time away from it.

This exactly! I haven't hated every job I've had, in fact the last one was working in a preschool started by my friend, and I loved being there - I even miss it a bit - I miss being around small children - but I still didn't love having to go though. I was sooooo happy to retire when DH did.

Kpbffyjjgfi · 15/04/2021 09:27

I'm lucky enough to be a sahm at the moment (which also comes with its problems such as loneliness, isolation), but I have always hated work.
I enjoyed school, college, uni and put a lot of effort in, but once I entered the world of work I hated it!!
Ive worked retail and also office work. The office work was the best as could spend alot of time chatting to each other Confused.
I've never been able to understand people who are workaholics or devote their life to their job. My husband is abit like this. Whilst I'm very grateful he provides for us, he gives himself completely to his job leaving nothing left over for us. It intrudes on his home life. He gives so much of himself to it , and I always tell him if he left tomorrow, they would have forgotten about him the next day.
I'm quite a lazy person so that comes into it too. When I was working (for 15 years) I would try to get away with doing the least amount possible. I'd take very long toilet breaks and id hang out in the store room for example. Just wishing the day away basically. I'm ashamed to say aswell that I spent alot of time off sick unnecessarily. For example I had a back injury, I had to be off for 3 months. But I stayed off for 6 months.
I've been paid different levels of wage too so I don't think the money side of it makes much difference. The only thing I can see myself ever enjoying is a job that is related to a hobby or interest, but they are few and far between and tend to be voluntary or low pay. So for me this would either be working with animals such as a sanctuary, or a zoo, or working in archaeology

Butchyrestingface · 15/04/2021 09:32

Would self-employed be better for you?

I'm self-employed. She'd simply be exchanging one form of slavery for another. Grin

And then adding the insecurity of being paid only when the spirit moves clients to do so...