AIBU to hate working?

[WorkPhobic]

Started a new job two weeks ago. Perfect hours for me. Lovely people. Great location. Basically my perfect job. But I still hate it.

I hated my old job. The one before it and the one before it. In fact, I've hated every job I've ever had. And despite the fact that this is the best one I've had and it's perfect for me, I still hate it.

I'd much rather just be at home. I also have a problem with authority and being told what to do. An attitude that basically isn't compatible with being an employee! I hate knowing that on the days I work I have to stick to a routine and get up at a certain time, etc. I hate having any obligations or plans. I can't explain it but the routine that comes with being employed upsets me.

Should add I'm on ADs for anxiety after a breakdown last year. Also have a three year old.

I think I must just hate working, no matter what I do.

It's not you, OP - it's the corporate world. It sucks the life out of you.... I had to get out after only 15 years, and I'm now retraining to do something lower paid but more interesting/ rewarding.

The reality is, most people will not love their jobs, but just tolerate them. I just hate that work has now become a virtue, and seemingly the more hours you work, the better!
If you strip away the layers of what most corporate work is, it's just making money for a company or shareholder. That doesn't hold any real meaning or purpose for me, beyond putting food on the table, so I resent having to give up so much of my time to serve it.

The radical alternative is to up sticks and move to somewhere super cheap, buy a small plot, and spend your days tilling the land, keeping a few animals and growing your own food not glamorous, and still a lot of work, but in my mind far more meaningful that being a corporate stooge. This is my dream.

I love the place I work, and it's a cruisy job - but I'm counting down the days (years) until I can retire, can't wait for that day! Like a pp I've never been able to understand people who devote their life to their jobs. To me it's a way to earn money to live, nothing more.

I get you. I don't mind working sometimes, am good at my job and get satisfaction when things are done correctly. but god I hate getting up early every day and having to deal with people who I don't like etc. I don't have a problem with being told what to do etc. What I hate is the pettiness, lack of common sense, things that are a complete waste of money and the office way of working. Being screamed at by the H&S officer because you took your hand off the hand rail on the last two steps of the stairs as your walking up is a perfect example. Not allowed a calendar on your desk because it doesn't comply with 5S crap. Working from home has helped alleviate this a bit and taken the stress out. I wont be going back into the office soon and will be using any opportunity to WFH in future. I am lucky I have a job that has flexi time and I have some control over start time and finish time. I have a good boss who doesn't micro manage me and trusts me to do my job correctly in the time required . My plan for future is to make sure I have a nice pension pot and if circumstances allow it to reduce my working week when I am in my late 50 in preparation for my retirement, life is short it needs to be enjoyed

I love my job and where I work, however I like my hobbies and free time more.
I totally get the monotonous grind and why people get resentful. I feel like that towards the end of a school term- luckily working in education gives me balance

I understand you - it all seems rather meaningless and futile in the end and I say that as someone who's worked in all manner of industries and settings. I'm most happiest listening to my podcasts, pottering about at home and just enjoying my own company, but alas that doesn't pay the bills!!

I was wfh pre covid but I remember the emails that went out from HR when lockdown hit. Things like "go for a walk before you start work to simulate your commute" I just rolled my eyes and laughed! The joy of wfh is being able to wear pyjamas and not commute!!

I'm like you and hate any kind of schedule. I like being able to get up when I want. Sometimes thats 6am, sometimes its 11am. I don't like having a "set" lunch break, sometimes I don't eat lunch, sometimes I want to nap instead! Some days I'm happy to have an afternoon off and work in the evening, other days I might want to start early/finish early.

At the moment I have the "perfect" job for me. It's wfh, there's a set amount of work to do but I can do it anytime I want. The only time I absolutely have to be present is very occasional team meetings. The work itself isn't the most exciting but I can live with that. I honestly think it's better for my employer too. I work when I feel at my "best" work wise. So they are always getting the best version of me. Whereas with a set 9-5 there were times when I just didn't feel like working and dragged myself through it. I know I wasn't working at my best in those times.

I don't know how long my current job will last but I absolutely would look for something like this again. I would value that over higher wages. With the shift towards more wfh, once things settle down, it's worth looking into jobs that can offer more flexibility.

Yes total sympathy here

I've hated/tolerated every single job I've ever had. I'm very lazy, unambitious and am seriously jealous of people who claim to love their work. I'd love to be like that!

Luckily I'm currently a SAHM but youngest goes to school in September so am dreading the fact I'll probably have to start looking for work after that.

YANBU
I have always felt this way.
Recently diagnosed with ADHD at age 58.
I have a good, well paid job, but 99% of stuff anyone says at work seems like utterly pointless bollocks to me. I wish I had the cash to retire.

The thing is it's kind of why you get paid to go to work.

These aren't tasks people willingly choose to do from sheer enjoyment of them, repetitively for 8 hours a day.

Sometimes they are tasks we enjoy BUT crucially, we wouldn't want to do them this much, or at this pace, repeatedly, with these people, in this location, with the stress of knowing our output drives the work or results or health or whatever of others.

Eg you might enjoy something like archaeology, right?

I've worked in that. There's a big, big difference between having an armchair or even academic interest in it, and working in it as a job. On a job you might be doing sites that don't interest you, with people who annoy you, in shit weather, working to a stressful deadline because you are holding up construction etc etc. You might be having to do a load of boring admin or compliance paperwork to log finds that could be repetitive and thankless. You might have a research grant that hinges on you producing papers or books etc that are stressful to write.

Generally speaking we are paid to do jobs because elements of how they are required to be done differ from similar tasks we might choose to undertake as hobbies or leisure pursuits.

Has it been harder since you had DC?

I found it harder when I was part time and easier when I was full time funnily enough.

I also had ADHD and have the same hatred of routine. Or rather making sure my kids fall in line with the routine. If it was just me I could manage.

I hate working too. Now more than ever. I only have one child, who is 7, and feel like I miss so much. I don't want to miss any of her childhood, I won't get this time back! I'd get loads done in the house too, all those little jobs we never have time to do. And I'd have more dogs 😁

I feel the same op, I'm lucky, my job is super flexible, well paid and I'm pretty good at it. I still hate it tho 😄 there's a million other things I'd rather be doing. I was chatting to a friend who could retire if he wanted to but he'd 'be bored'. I can assure you I wouldn't be!

Really sorry to hear that OP.

I generally enjoy my job. The fact I worked v hard at school and uni means that I’m in a fortunate position that I can do something I enjoy - ie I have the luxury of choice. I am trying to drum this into my kids....

I hate it too, but I’m self employed and wfh, so it’s not authority that’s my problem. It’s having enough bastarding hours in the day and then having the burden of tending to family. cooking and cleaning on top of it.

I’m so fed up of clients wanting a piece of me morning and night, calling me and expecting me to be at their beck and call and doing everything by yesterday. If I could afford to, I’d tell them all to fuck off.

I’d be entirely content to keep the house clean, cook, listen to podcasts, read and spend time on my hobbies. I don’t need to be around other people, I’m quite happy on my own and left to my own devices.

I have definitely found my tribe here and it's good to be able to discuss this frankly.

I hate working with a passion. Like a pp said, I like being at home, pottering around, reading, cooking etc etc. I resent the intrusion that work makes in to my life.

My job (4 days a week - which is great as went down from 5) would be considered rewarding as I help people who do need advice and support. Because I have to work to pay the bills it's the best sort of job I could have but I dread every day which is an awful thing.

Like another pp said I also resent people who don't have to work - which is ridiculous because it doesn't affect my situation!

My oldest friend said to me a few months ago (when I was moaning about my job!) "but I thought you liked working, you've always done it" hahaha Surely she knows I had no choice (lone parent all my daughter's life, no other source of income)?

Anyway I'm now in my 50s and resigned to the fact that this is it until retirement. I did start to retrain so that I could be self employed but had to put that on hold for health & financial reasons. I'm waiting to hear if I've got a place to re-start the training but at this rate I'll be retirement age before I can work in that role anyway!
(Although my pension will be so crap I'll have to work for as long as I'm breathing I think).

Surely most people would rather please themselves all day?

I think this is a common way to feel. The answer in my experience is to find something you love! That may well be something that you can do from home as your own boss.
Maybe you should set your sights upon building a skill that you can earn a living from. Maybe a craft or something creative that you can sell on Etsy or Not on the High Street or similar online space. Alternatively writing, painting, web design? These things take time to get off the ground but once they are up and running you can work your own hours from home. I do it and I love it, it also really suits having children.

@Feraltomcat

I feel the same op, I'm lucky, my job is super flexible, well paid and I'm pretty good at it. I still hate it tho 😄 there's a million other things I'd rather be doing. I was chatting to a friend who could retire if he wanted to but he'd 'be bored'. I can assure you I wouldn't be!

Totally agree @Feraltomcat

People often say to me "wouldn't you be bored" when I say I'd love to give up work.
Absolutely not! So much to do, see, read, watch, cook (eat!), clean I would have no problem filling my days.

I had 2 weeks off work a few weeks ago and obviously couldn't go away. The time flew by, we did have a few day trips but mostly I was just doing stuff at home and not feeling stressed out of my mind.

@Jangle33

Really sorry to hear that OP.

I generally enjoy my job. The fact I worked v hard at school and uni means that I’m in a fortunate position that I can do something I enjoy - ie I have the luxury of choice. I am trying to drum this into my kids....

I was a teacher before I became my own boss. This was something I told every. single. class.

Education buys you CHOICE.

You can be a toilet cleaner or a president so long as you love your job because you are going to spend a lot of years doing it.

Yep, I only work a few hours a week and I resent it! I know I shouldn't but having to go in winds me up and I've had a few jobs where I just ended up leaving as I couldn't hack the hours or being told what to do! Worst one ever was ' pot washer/ cleaner. Only lasted four months.
I enjoyed being a stay at home mum .. I know I should come off mumsnet for staying such a thing, but when I did work full time with little ones it was hard going and I did that for many years too.
I think my self employed friends have it a bit better. They seem happier anyway.

I absolutely can’t relate to this, personally, sorry OP! I love my job and the thought that one day I will have to retire, fills me with unease.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and my hobbies too and look forward to them, but I also feel like that about work in the main, too.

When I got pregnant and ill-health forced me to stop working, I was utterly miserable; I absolutely hated being a SAHM for the short time that I was one and ended up mildly depressed because of it!

I need to feel like my life has a defined purpose and my work helps me achieve that. I feel like I’m contributing to making the world a teeny bit better, and I am.

I guess we’re all different 🌈

What the smug types on this thread don't seem to realise is that EVEN if you worked hard at school and university, EVEN if you have the luxury of choice, EVEN if your job is flexible and well paid...

...it is still entirely possible to hate having to work. I should know. We're currently recruiting for new people to join my team. Hundreds are applying because the job is terrific.

And I hate it to my fingertips. I'm in my fifties and have worked full time my whole life. I've had loads of different jobs and have hated every single one, eventually. Sure, sometimes there's a flush of hope and enthusiasm when you get a new job or even a new career - but that generally wears off within about three months and the sheer, mind-blowing HORROR of having your days dictated by people you don't give a crap about sets in.

Most days I dream about doing a Reggie Perrin.

I have ADHD @WorkPhobic and this is me to a T. Something to looking in to maybe?

A few very lucky people manage to earn their living doing something they love. I have known vets, pilots and people who work in professional sport who have fulfilled their childhood dreams and would say they feel privileged to be able to do jobs they love.

A small number of others are so driven by a need for money, power and status that they actually want to devote their lives to work. Silly bastards.

For the rest of us, the vast majority, work is a means to an end. A tedious, repetitive, stressful daily ordeal that just has to be done to keep a roof over our head, food in the fridge and maybe a few luxuries like holidays (remember those?) to make the whole thing seem less meaningless. I can’t wait to retire.

Completely get it. I'm starting a new job in a few weeks in the NHS and going from part time remote working to 5 days in an office, it's only 20 minute drive but I'm worried I'll feel resentful and hate working.. I know I won't hate the job it's the actually routine of working. As a single parent with a toddler, working full time will be like routine on steroids!