AIBU to hate working?

[WorkPhobic]

Started a new job two weeks ago. Perfect hours for me. Lovely people. Great location. Basically my perfect job. But I still hate it.

I hated my old job. The one before it and the one before it. In fact, I've hated every job I've ever had. And despite the fact that this is the best one I've had and it's perfect for me, I still hate it.

I'd much rather just be at home. I also have a problem with authority and being told what to do. An attitude that basically isn't compatible with being an employee! I hate knowing that on the days I work I have to stick to a routine and get up at a certain time, etc. I hate having any obligations or plans. I can't explain it but the routine that comes with being employed upsets me.

Should add I'm on ADs for anxiety after a breakdown last year. Also have a three year old.

I think I must just hate working, no matter what I do.

I get what you are saying OP. Although for 10 hrs a week I would probably just crack on.
I started work after A levels in a job I hated, was shit at and was a dreadful employee. I certainly wasnt ready for the world of work.
Had DS1 at 21 so gave up work as in those days childcare would have pushed us into debt. DH was low wage in those days (late 80s) earning £4.50 p/h. 2 more DC later then caring for ageing GPs kept me out the workplace. I re-entered work at 40. I'm now 54. It took 10 yrs to get promoted into higher wage but still lower than national average because I screwed myself over by not 'working' during those years and was seen as a good employee but not promotion material at my age.

I don't dislike my job but I hate the fact that my life is whizzing by and 5 days a week I'm out the house 12hrs plus. It feels like a waste of life. I want to see the world, not be tied to a few weeks holiday a year that I still cant afford to do what I would like with.
I think the 'when you grow up you can do what you want', that gets fed to kids adds to the dissatifaction with life/work. Very few do, most do not have a satisfying career but a job that pays the bills.

Basically being and adult is a con!

I handed in my notice at the age of 52.

The sheer relief of not having to wake up when the alarm goes off, shower, dress, long drive to work. Work all day, come home. Rinse and repeat. I used to live for my holidays. I wished away three decades of my life dreaming of holidays and wasting the end of the holidays getting anxious about them ending.

I have not regretted leaving for one second. I'm never bored. I can do my hobbies if and when I feel like doing them - the only restraint has been lockdown, so I just found myself some new, home based hobbies. I no longer have to stress about making appointments or arranging times with friends, family or builders. I am totally flexible and don't have to cram my actual life into out of work hours.

I don't have to tolerate stupid and pointless new initiatives. I don't have to put up with being told off by someone half my age with half of my experience for some petty thing I did or didn't do. I don't have to tolerate nasty, manipulative and downright rude co workers.

Work is overated. I love being able to do what I want, change my plans, waste whole days doing nothing or cramming a dozen different activities into them if I want. I love having time to appreciate nature. I love that if the weather stops me doing something today, that's ok because I can do it tomorrow, or next week. I love being able to talk to family on the phone for a hour without the guilt that this is time I should be using planning for work. I love that all my work clothes are in the wardrobe untouched and that I can wear what I want and be comfortable.

@knackeredcat

ADHD and possible autism here. Easily distracted, hate "peoply" stuff as I'm an awkward communicator (why just so many MEETINGS?!!), panic at deadlines and find it hard to assimilate information. Only recently diagnosed.

But yes, this is why I hate working. I may present as functioning, but I'm really not. There are so many layers and barriers for me in what would appear to most as normal situations where a manager asks you to do something. The trying to process the verbal info, scribble down instructions, work out deadlines, navigate nuances, etc. Failed so many times here over the years.

And did I mention I hate meetings?

I became jaded young when realising working meant not having time or energy for hobbies after a working day, and it took me too long to realise that not everyone has been constantly almost flu-like exhausted and an emotional wreck after many working days.

I fail as an employee and I wouldn't know what to do for myself as I don't even know what I'm good at. It's frustrating.

I identify with this so much. I recommend a book -

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder

but as for the ignoramus who mentioned laziness - we aren't being crap for fun!

@singsingbluesilver

I handed in my notice at the age of 52.

The sheer relief of not having to wake up when the alarm goes off, shower, dress, long drive to work. Work all day, come home. Rinse and repeat. I used to live for my holidays. I wished away three decades of my life dreaming of holidays and wasting the end of the holidays getting anxious about them ending.

I have not regretted leaving for one second. I'm never bored. I can do my hobbies if and when I feel like doing them - the only restraint has been lockdown, so I just found myself some new, home based hobbies. I no longer have to stress about making appointments or arranging times with friends, family or builders. I am totally flexible and don't have to cram my actual life into out of work hours.

I don't have to tolerate stupid and pointless new initiatives. I don't have to put up with being told off by someone half my age with half of my experience for some petty thing I did or didn't do. I don't have to tolerate nasty, manipulative and downright rude co workers.

Work is overated. I love being able to do what I want, change my plans, waste whole days doing nothing or cramming a dozen different activities into them if I want. I love having time to appreciate nature. I love that if the weather stops me doing something today, that's ok because I can do it tomorrow, or next week. I love being able to talk to family on the phone for a hour without the guilt that this is time I should be using planning for work. I love that all my work clothes are in the wardrobe untouched and that I can wear what I want and be comfortable.

But how do you afford to live?

I live off my savings. Worth every month of me saving - my rainy day arrived so I went for it.

I became jaded young when realising working meant not having time or energy for hobbies after a working day

This to me has been a big issue. I see others who can work all day then go and meet friends in the evening or spend time doing hobbies and I just can’t. Again it’s not laziness! I am just so mentally “done” after a day at work that I don’t have the mental energy to make (even more) conversation or focus on anything. I think being around others really drains me (lockdown has been somewhat of a blessing!). I can take it (and even enjoy it) in small doses but 8+ hours a day is too much.

I remember on another thread about wfh vs office work, I commented that when I started in my job we used to get our own individual office with a door you could shut! I got on so much better with that. It’s the move to open plan everywhere that has made me struggle the most.

If I could have wfh I would have kept working. It would have saved me a two hour commute every day and the stress of working worth some unpleasant individuals. It would have given me a lot more freedom - sadly this was not an option.

I don't like working and have resisted working at times.
Wish I could afford not to work.

[quote THisbackwithavengeance]@Raxer26A

The OP doesnt have problems. She just doesn't want to work. That's fine if you have other sources of income.

She asked the question if she was being unreasonable or not.

I thought she was, so I'll post an answer expressing that seeing as it's an open forum.

Lots of other people have agreed with her but I'm ok with being in a minority.

If people want echo chambers, don't post on AIBU, what would be the point? [/quote]
I agree. The OP is also fortunate to have a husband paying the bills. I wonder what she'd say if he said he didn't fancy working any more?

I also suspect I have ADHD and possibly mild autism. I can be very literal at times, if someone gave me a task I would follow the instructions to the letter, no more and no less, which oft got me into trouble for not “going the extra mile”. Also found face to face communication difficult though could express myself in emails very well, sometimes better than my managers.

I took voluntary early retirement a couple of years back. It’s great to have my life to myself, to be able to schedule appointments at times to suit me rather than fitting them around work, to not have to buy and keep clothes especially for work any more.

@CounsellorTroi

I also suspect I have ADHD and possibly mild autism. I can be very literal at times, if someone gave me a task I would follow the instructions to the letter, no more and no less, which oft got me into trouble for not “going the extra mile”. Also found face to face communication difficult though could express myself in emails very well, sometimes better than my managers.

I took voluntary early retirement a couple of years back. It’s great to have my life to myself, to be able to schedule appointments at times to suit me rather than fitting them around work, to not have to buy and keep clothes especially for work any more.

I just failed some compulsory online training at work. There is a multiple choice test at the end - one question was "There is a major incident at work - you are told to go home and await instructions, do you" A - Go home and await instructions

B,C,D various waffle not mentioned in the training.

I put A and got failed as apparently I should have known it was both A and some bollock speak in D.

It's fucking madness.

This is a thread for those who don't like working.
See thread for those that love their jobs.

How is it a thread "for those who don't like working"?

The OP did post in AIBU.

I know ignore me, it was just funny.
The I love my job/ I hate my job threads.
Was supposed to come out tongue in cheek, my fault, not your

@Devlesko

I know ignore me, it was just funny. The I love my job/ I hate my job threads. Was supposed to come out tongue in cheek, my fault, not your

I loved my first job I had as a teenager on the weekends in TK Maxx, I worked so hard as did everyone else and we were a family to a point, us younger ones would socialise together a lot and some of the older ones would join us for a pub quiz occasionally. And then the manager changed and we were treated like a number and I realised that’s all I was to an employer and I was just there to make the shareholders richer.

Now although I still put in extra effort and I don’t slack off, I want to be out of the working world ASAP and having read about FIRE, financial independence and retire early, this is my goal in life- basically spend as little as possible and invest as much as possible and then live off your interest and dividends.

There is a lot more to it than that and it won’t suit everyone, but why stick at a job that you hate so you can spend the money on crap you don’t really need? We are expected to work for 50 odd years and that just isn’t what I want either.

I hate working but I do because long term it's better for my mental health and I want to contribute to my family, and being a SAHM was much much worse.

I hate dealing with people and their nonsense, I hate being told what to do, I hate staring at the computer screen, I hate being bored (which is why I found the SAHM thing so hard). But even when I've had jobs I've liked I've always had a strong pull to just be at home and get out of work as soon as I can. Never ever stayed late.

I'm autistic and awaiting ADHD assessment. Loving this thread because it's so rare to hear all this stuff about how people find it so difficult and soul destroying.

I've struggled with work for my whole adult life - coping with people and office politics, meeting, chat, noise, change, etc is all a nightmare and leaves me exhausted so that every non-work hour is spent recovering. I also get bored quickly and can't push myself to do things I hate and can't focus. I've quit lots of jobs, and am mostly only able to work part time. I wfh at the moment but my self-discipline is rubbish, so I leave everything to the last minute and get really anxious. I have had periods where I've enjoyed aspects of work e.g. where I was doing a particular project or working with people I got on well with, but generally I hate it.

People who don't experience any of this can easily put it down to laziness and be outraged at people living off their dp's wages. I doubt they'd say the same if someone had a physical condition that made work very hard.

People who don't experience any of this can easily put it down to laziness and be outraged at people living off their dp's wages. I doubt they'd say the same if someone had a physical condition that made work very hard.

I agree with the first part of what you have said here as I very much have my own peculiar relationship with the world of work thanks to ADHD. Open offices are a fucking shitshow for folks like me, I desperately need quiet and solitude to be able to do ANYTHING.

But - I also have a physical condition and honestly management don't really give a shit or want to know. Thank Christ I'm not reliant on the NHS anymore because they don't fund the tools I need for me to manage my condition optimally (type 1 diabetes) so when employed in a variety of desirable entry level roles (loads of competition for these jobs, pay shit) it was like I was just expected to ignore high blood sugar all day and put the needs of the job first.

It wasn't the fault of any boss, just shit reality that meant my wages didn't pay enough to buy the tools I needed as well as pay the rent. I realised that people without serious health issues really didn't understand.

It wasn't them lying awake in misery when my neuropathy kicked off and my legs felt like someone had scalded them with boiling water. It wasn't them apologetically grovelling for time off for hospital appointments and then having to work into the small hours to make up time. The less managed my sugars were, the more infections I got, the sicker and more exhausted I became.

They just don't get it. I would never work in that way again if I lost access to my diabetes tech, trying to fulfil a bullshit expectation that the job comes before all else (including your health) and naively believing the bollocks that they will accommodate your disability in the workplace.

It's not them that will suffer the consequences of trashing your health (mental and/ or physical) for shareholders or any other productivity metrics.

I'm hating work today. I'm working my notice in my current job and starting a new job in 3 weeks and my boss is working me like a dog.. I literally cannot work any more hours than I already am and I'm still swamped. Can't wait to leave.

This is so refreshing to read after the frequent threads from high flyers relishing the challenges of working 70 hour weeks...I've put the hours in working for the nhs and Mencap but only because I thought that if I had to work better to do something useful ...got more than a few sneers from the lawyers and finance /account geeks in my wider family . But the joy of not working ...bliss..
I remember a quote in a management book (😬) "I employ people who.are intelligent , pro active, creative ,determined and dilligent ...then they come to work.."

I absolutely hate working for other people. I'm self employed now and much prefer it. Dont get me wrong, sometimes I hate it, and it can be really stressful, but I do prefer it.
I would absolutely love to not have to work, but we can't afford that, and I wouldn't really want to rely on dp.

I love my job but hate being told what to do. Don't know why. Ruby