To think swearing in front of a 7 year old is really wrong?

[goodbyeyellowbrick]

My friend has a 7 year old daughter whom she swears in front of. She doesn't swear at her daughter but she swears in conversation around her daughter (not constantly but she certainly doesn't censor herself). When I've asked her about this she's said that she's raising her daughter to not call swear words 'bad words' but instead 'grown up words' so as not to be a hypocrite. She says she doesn't feel the need to filter herself in that way for her child and that her child must learn that there is certain things adults can say that children cannot.

My friend knows I'm not comfortable like this and don't raise my children in the same way and so she respects that and does censor herself in front of my kids. Going to post a few examples of how she swears in front of her child -

'It's fucking outrageous to be honest'

'I can't be arsed with that sort of behaviour'

'I don't give a shit' etc etc.

AIBU to think this is actually really wrong? Every time she does it in front of her child I wince and tense up.

Meh wouldn’t bother me

We swear in this house

My children don’t swear and no not to.

No, sounds like a minor parenting difference tbh. I try to censor myself as DD is 3 and a sponge but I don’t think it’s a massive deal

Wouldn’t bother me, I swear in front of my son, he doesn’t repeat them as he knows they’re words for adults.

Honestly, it's her choice as a parent, you may not like it, but if she doesn't do it in front of your children out of respect for your feelings, what she does is irrelevant.

I have been known to swear around my children and don't censor myself as much as I could in my own home, but they both know what words they don't repeat and I never swear at them. It's just words at the end of the day, words that are in most adults daily vocabulary. You can't sensor the man swearing in the street or the woman on the bus, or the teenagers at the park, they'll hear these words regardless.

It’s a non issue. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.

I like her approach and good on her for not swearing in front of your children.

Long as she’s not swearing at her I wouldn’t be too bothered.
She’ll hear a lot worse soon enough.

I’m like your friend, but it’s just a parenting difference, you do you and let her do her snd stop judging and deciding she’s “wrong” and you’re right. Because you’re not and she’s not,

I swear in front of my kids sometimes. They know not to do it themselves because they are children. Just like they can't drink coffee, alcohol, drive a car etc.

I’d hardly deem her foul mouthed, she’s not swearing at her child or saying cunt/wanker all day. You can’t dictate how other ppl speak.
You do know your child will hear it all at school at a pretty young age.

I used to tell my children that only people in receipt of regular electricity bills were allowed to use swear words

I think you "tensing up" and wincing is weird and disproportionate. They're just words. And your kids will know them too.

Swearing is just lazy.

I agree with you OP, but it really is her choice.

My (Primary) children have heard me swear and they have picked up words from school so they know more than they have heard me say.

As long as they understand they are words that grown ups sometimes use and that they shouldn't use them then I think it's okay.

Every time she does it in front of her child I wince and tense up

I also think this is a weirdly extreme reaction, is there some form of back story or mental health issue?

Seems fine to me.

I don't swear in front of kids, but it's not 'really wrong'. Chill.

I didn't swear in front of my kids because I don't really swear but I have no issue with friends who did swear around them. My kids are adults now and one swears like a trooper and the other one rarely swears.

I couldn't get upset about this. Hearing a swear word doesn't hurt a child.

I swear like a sailor. My kids are very non sweary. I reckon they were never that inclined cos it wasn't forbidden fruit. I inadvertently did some reverse psychology. I have a book all about the history of swearing and some science behind why it is good for you.

Surely it’s a parenting choice.

@SimonJT

Wouldn’t bother me, I swear in front of my son, he doesn’t repeat them as he knows they’re words for adults.

Yep. Same here in front of our two.

I think it depends on your culture. An Irish child who hadn't heard certain words by this age would be horribly isolated.

Can't be arsed is hardly swearing!