To think swearing in front of a 7 year old is really wrong?

[goodbyeyellowbrick]

My friend has a 7 year old daughter whom she swears in front of. She doesn't swear at her daughter but she swears in conversation around her daughter (not constantly but she certainly doesn't censor herself). When I've asked her about this she's said that she's raising her daughter to not call swear words 'bad words' but instead 'grown up words' so as not to be a hypocrite. She says she doesn't feel the need to filter herself in that way for her child and that her child must learn that there is certain things adults can say that children cannot.

My friend knows I'm not comfortable like this and don't raise my children in the same way and so she respects that and does censor herself in front of my kids. Going to post a few examples of how she swears in front of her child -

'It's fucking outrageous to be honest'

'I can't be arsed with that sort of behaviour'

'I don't give a shit' etc etc.

AIBU to think this is actually really wrong? Every time she does it in front of her child I wince and tense up.

Is she the same in front of the vicar?

Big swearer here. It's just words. And I really couldn't give a shit if anyone disapproves.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Is she the same in front of the vicar?

I'm the same in front of the vicar!

Somethingsnappy I did flick through the articles to check for that - apparently it is a wider non-sweary vocabulary!

I swear but never in front of DS. It's just lazy if you can't moderate your language when necessary. My BIL swears constantly in front of his young kids and they all copy him, much to his amusement. I think it's horrible.

Seriously 😒 she doesn't swear in front of your DC at your request, so it's a non issue

She respects that you raise your kids differently so I’d do the same thing and accept her choices.

YANBU I don’t swear in front of my children. What is the need?

I've always sworn in front of my dc's but not excessively and not using all swear words.
It isn't a big deal, and I think at least they see that we all have to not swear at inappropriate times.

YANBU

It makes me feel uncomfortable when people do this. And as much as you tell a child they’re grown up words, chances are they’ll repeat them.

My parents never swore in front of me as a child so I suppose that’s why I grew up thinking swearing around children is unacceptable.

I'm with the swearers.... I do too

They don't at school 🤷🏼‍♀️😱

My kids’ superpower is that they hear everything anyway, including a private conversation with DH about my mum being a “pain in the arse” ... which my youngest duly repeated to her 😩

It wouldn’t bother me

@BurningGubbins

Somethingsnappy I did flick through the articles to check for that - apparently it is a wider non-sweary vocabulary!

Excellent! I will continue to use my favourite, cuntychops (heard from another poster on mumsnet) (admittedly not in front of the children), in the happy knowledge that it probably makes me a better person .

I swear in front of the children. They don't swear. When I was a child my parents ran a pub and I heard all the filthy language. I knew which words were bad and was told I could say them once I was 16. Same rules in my house now.

I hate swearing in front of kids. I have no issues with swearing when all adults are together but not in front of children. I personally rarely swear and really only then if joking.

If DC are wise enough to not swear in front of their parents I suspect they’re savvy enough to not do it in front of a teacher

Kids swear, whether they hear it at home or not. Not all, of course, but lots do.

YABU the whole concept of swear words is bullshit.
I can say more hurtful things without swearing than any swear words.

I agree with you OP

I suddenly panicked after my previous post when I thought 'What if you are the vicar!'

I swear in front of my son, he doesn’t swear in front of me (although now at 12 I don’t mind the odd “bloody hell” from him if it is warranted.

Nowadays offensive words are not the old “fuck” and “shit” etc but racial and homophobic slurs, THAT is language which is shocking and wrong and unacceptable, language I don’t use EVER (unless I am quoting or teaching my son something)

so I’m saying times change.

Are you expecting your children to never swear in front of you ever? Sounds a bit uptight... I would think you need to adjust your attitude a bit otherwise it’s going to be a bit of a shock when they hit their teenage years. Also, if you let your children know it bothers you, you are handing them a weapon for those inevitable teenage tantrums. I used to take great pleasure in using my total poker face as my children tried to shock me with the worst swear words they could think of. I used to say I could beat you hands down at a swearing competition if I really wanted to darlings

I’m similar to you, OP, in that we don’t swear loads and I definitely don’t want my young kids swearing. My lovely neighbour, on the other hand, is quite sweary and doesn’t censor herself in front of her kids, much like your friend. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she is wrong, because really it’s just a parenting difference. However, this particular parenting difference does make the relationship awkward if your kids play together a lot. I find myself in the uncomfortable position of sometimes having to ask her kids to not swear at our house (which they do because, let’s face it, kids parrot what they hear at home regardless of whether or not they are ‘allowed’ to use certain words). I’m sure my requests get back to her and make me sound really judgy. I’m not judging, I just don’t want my kids picking up that language.

Absolutely agree with you OP. Perhaps we both live in strange communities but I don’t have a single friend or know a single parent at DCs school who swears in front of their DC as far as I’m aware. Not to say the odd word hasn’t slipped out, but I’ve never heard any of them swear casually with no issues in front of their kids. None.

I am in total agreement with you, OP and find it hard to understand the majority of the posters on this thread who seem to think it is okay for adults to swear in front of children. Would they be happy if their children's teachers swore in the classroom in front of their children?

😂🤣😂 at everyone who thinks their children don't swear at school, even from early primary years. After 40yrs of working with children I can assure you all that most children know most swear words and plenty use them in the playground.

I don't swear routinely in front of my children and they generally don't swear in front of me, they are in their 20s now. My then 5yr old came home on the first day of primary school and said "mummy what's a fucker"? I asked why he wanted to know and he said 'That's what X called Miss X today and she was cross".