To think swearing in front of a 7 year old is really wrong?

[goodbyeyellowbrick]

My friend has a 7 year old daughter whom she swears in front of. She doesn't swear at her daughter but she swears in conversation around her daughter (not constantly but she certainly doesn't censor herself). When I've asked her about this she's said that she's raising her daughter to not call swear words 'bad words' but instead 'grown up words' so as not to be a hypocrite. She says she doesn't feel the need to filter herself in that way for her child and that her child must learn that there is certain things adults can say that children cannot.

My friend knows I'm not comfortable like this and don't raise my children in the same way and so she respects that and does censor herself in front of my kids. Going to post a few examples of how she swears in front of her child -

'It's fucking outrageous to be honest'

'I can't be arsed with that sort of behaviour'

'I don't give a shit' etc etc.

AIBU to think this is actually really wrong? Every time she does it in front of her child I wince and tense up.

@Macncheeseballs

No idea about you. But everyone I know in real life that gets offended by the word cunt is ironically the type of person I would call a cunt; people who are quite comfortable with racist, bigoted, misogynistic language. There's a definite correlation. Obviously there will be exceptions to this but it's just an observation that I have made.

@Macncheeseballs, I don't use that particular word personally because I consider it misogynistic to use the name of a female body part as a term of abuse (and I don't tend to use swear words as terms of abuse in any case). The problem is not in the word itself, but In how it is used.

I also prefer to use the "correct" words for parts of the anatomy rather than slang in any case, but that applies to "innocent" euphemistic words for body parts as much as it does to swear words.

@ThrowingAShellstrop Well, you could say that about everything. When you break it down, all our social norms are pretty irrational. Why is it bad to fart and burp in front of people? It's just sounds, normal bodily functions we all have. Why do we wear clothes, even on a hot day? It's just the human body, why can't we go out naked? Why eat with a knife and fork and not just our hands? Why say please and thank you, they're just words?

It depends on the frequency and on which swear words are being used, it also depends on whether the child is aware not to use the words themselves.

I occasionally say shit or fuck if I drop something/hurt myself/something terrible happens. My DC know never to repeat the words and to my knowledge, never have done. I don’t think the occasional swear word is an issue at all but if you’re constantly effing and jeffing around them then yeah, that’s probably not the best parenting.

Also wouldn’t expect certain swear words to ever be used around young children, thinking of cunt, slag, slapper- basically misogynistic ones.

Also wouldn’t expect certain swear words to ever be used around young children, thinking of cunt, slag, slapper- basically misogynistic ones.

The thing is, I would not use those words anyway, because I do think they're misogynistic. Just as I wouldn't use racist or homophobic words etc. The words themselves aren't problematic, but their history and associations are.

I don't edit my language in front of my dc because I don't actually use language that I consider to be offensive in and of itself due to historic abuse, inequality etc. Words like "shit" and "fuck" are harmless as far as I can see, in the way that racist/homophobic/misogynistic slurs are not.

[quote TheRuralLife89]@ThrowingAShellstrop Well, you could say that about everything. When you break it down, all our social norms are pretty irrational. Why is it bad to fart and burp in front of people? It's just sounds, normal bodily functions we all have. Why do we wear clothes, even on a hot day? It's just the human body, why can't we go out naked? Why eat with a knife and fork and not just our hands? Why say please and thank you, they're just words?

[/quote]
Doesn’t that work both ways? It’s up to parents to decide what’s important or not and frankly, it’s for nobody else to judge.

I would rather my kids said the word fuck occasionally, in the right context than be a judgy twat who thinks they’re superior but there we go

@Skysblue

Yanbu, children imitate how adults talk, they can’t help it. They repeat this stuff at school where it gets them into trouble with teachers, and more importantly brands them a ‘rough kid’ from a ‘dodgy background’ which impacts on what they get invited to as they go up school.

I know two potty-mouthed kids whose mums can’t say a sentence without swearing. The kids are the same and tbh they don’t get invited to meetups anymore.

Calling them ‘grown up’ words is ridiculous and inaccurate.

I agree.

It's setting children up for being perceived as a particular type of person.

That will affect their whole life, opportunities, etc.

Annafivetowns, haha I'm the opposite, people I know who love the word are generally people I think are it, of course I wouldn't call them it , and I have met plenty of racists, bigots, homophobes, misogynists etc who love the word

They are just words - don't give them so much power and they won't bother you!

I rarely swear but I don't mind if other people do.

Swearing AT a child is different - but there's loads of non 'swear' words you can damage a child with too if used in the wrong way.

I dont like swearing in front of children and agree with you OP. I'm surprised at the majority of posters saying they swear around their kids. I dont know anyone who swears around their children either!

That will affect their whole life, opportunities, etc

Nonsense. As long as they learn when it's ok to swear, when it isn't ok to swear, and how to tell the difference, then it won't affect them at all.