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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
honeylulu · 07/04/2021 22:25

Why isn't friend hosting celebration at his own fucking house?

rookiemere · 07/04/2021 22:26

I'd probably be delighted.
No getting roped into preparing for the visit or cleaning up afterwards. I'd prefer a Premier Inn or nice hotel if just me though.

neroforte · 07/04/2021 22:26

not at all. as long as i wasn't being told i had to leave the house, i wouldn't mind. i would probably spend the time with my friends.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/04/2021 22:26

Not offended. I can't see how it is offensive.
I would suggest they get airbnb more likely rather than making me go. Unless it's a hotel. With room service and whirpool bath.

DeathAndTaxis · 07/04/2021 22:26

@honeylulu, I think they are - it's the OP's partner, isn't it?

Eekay · 07/04/2021 22:27

I'd be deeply suspicious of the real reason my OH wanted me out of the way. Doesn't this strike you as extremely odd that he wants to oust you from your own home?

BrightYellowDaffodil · 07/04/2021 22:27

To be levered out of my own home because others couldn’t be arsed to have some consideration for the other person that, you, know LIVES THERE? Yeah, I’d be fucked off. Asking is one thing but “suggesting” you might like to go away is something else entirely.

Why can’t THEY stay in the AirBnB to celebrate this birthday since they’re happy to splash the cash?

8lue8ird · 07/04/2021 22:28

Very weird.

baubled · 07/04/2021 22:28

I'd be gone in a shot, I would be contemplating going somewhere anyway so to have it paid for would be ideal

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/04/2021 22:28

Was the mass invitation discussed with you before it was made?

If it was done behind my back and I was then told I’d be shipping out to accommodate it I’d be saying no fucking way, party elsewhere chump.

GailTheFish · 07/04/2021 22:29

I have possibly been in lockdown with my DP for too long, but my first thought was that a free weekend away by myselfsounds amazing! As long as the house isn’t destroyed and that I wasn’t expected to do any prep for their weekend I definitely wouldn’t mind that. Presumably it is cheaper for them to do this than find a house to rent for them all to stay?

SnackSizeRaisin · 07/04/2021 22:29

I would expect to be asked before partner agreed to host anything. I would not be impressed to told to leave my house for the weekend, but would probably be happy enough to choose a mutually convenient weekend to go and see a friend (as long as house cleaned before I got back).

LawnFever · 07/04/2021 22:30

As long as I can pick the Airbnb sounds great - I’d invite a friend along for a couple of nights and leave them to it

Wellpark · 07/04/2021 22:31

Not an effin chance!!! Sounds like they are planning to have sex workers round. Sorry but it's dodgy af!!!

Leavethedooropen · 07/04/2021 22:31

I would be very offended that I wasn’t wanted there.

Bluey18 · 07/04/2021 22:31

No effing way am I being kicked out of my house for the weekend for a lad's piss up, even pre-kids. I would not appreciate my OH throwing a party in the house without consulting me either, whether I'm there or not. My OH wouldn't do this. If he did I'd be massively pissed off.

GreyhoundG1rl · 07/04/2021 22:31

Why isn't the friend hosting his own party?!

LolaSmiles · 07/04/2021 22:31

I'd not like it because I like being at home and don't see why I should be turfed out of my own home. Like PP it would make be suspicious as to why he is keen to get me out.

Queenoftheashes · 07/04/2021 22:32

It’d be a no from me. How fucking rude.

steff13 · 07/04/2021 22:32

I would this he was being considerate of the fact that you might not want hang around with him and his friends all weekend. I'm assuming you're a woman and they're men (or vice versa).

RefuseTheLies · 07/04/2021 22:33

I'd be off like a shot to a lovely hotel. Of my own choosing.

Lazypuppy · 07/04/2021 22:33

I wouldn't want a air b&b i'd want a decent hotel with dinner and full breakfast the next morning!!

Teamox · 07/04/2021 22:33

I think the opposite to everyone else and think it's the OP who's invited a load of female friends over and wants DP out.

I'd have no problem with it at all.

starbucks1000 · 07/04/2021 22:33

I think it depends on your overall relationship. Like a PP said, as long as they aren't telling you that you have to go. With Covid things are tricky, your OH wants to have a good time with friends and having a partner there definitely does change the dynamics. Do they deserve to have a good time with friends? Is this a one-off or regular occurrence? I'd ask for the money instead and stay at a friends house and treat us to food and whatever the hell else I wanted lol.

Roszie · 07/04/2021 22:34

Is that what you're offering your partner? Mine would like it.

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