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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 07/04/2021 22:46

So many "I'd be gone like a shot!" posts. How peculiar.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/04/2021 22:46

Not a chance would I be doing that.
Not to mention there are very limited reasons for booking accommodation currently and no guests indoors until May.

AmandaHoldensLips · 07/04/2021 22:47

I've had a couple of women-only parties and ejected the DH telling him to go visit his parents for the weekend. Who wants a killjoy man around cramping our style?

Alsohuman · 07/04/2021 22:47

@baubled

I'd be gone in a shot, I would be contemplating going somewhere anyway so to have it paid for would be ideal
Me too. It would have to be a plush hotel though.
AlCalavicci · 07/04/2021 22:48

A lot of it depends on who is been invited , Nice so and so from work , whatisface from up the road joint friends , not a problem , prat who pulls stupid / messy pranks ,drug taking neighbour , people I dont know , then no way ,
I would also expect the house to be clean and undamaged on my return if it is not then they are paying for another night a a hotel for me while they clean up .

it would also depend on how it is worded , demand I leave = fuck off , ask me if I would like to go to whatever hotel ( not keen on air B&Bs ) i would like then yes

Mylittlepony374 · 07/04/2021 22:51

I'd be suggesting they rent/book somewhere for their party. I wouldn't appreciate being put out of my own house.

HeddaGarbled · 07/04/2021 22:51

If it were a luxury hotel, after all the COVID restrictions are over, I’d be happy. But not in an Air B&B at the moment when you can’t eat in restaurants and no indoor attractions are open.

The birthday party needs to go elsewhere if they don’t want to be on the same premises as the person who lives there.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/04/2021 22:52

I would take the offer and be glad of the peace and quiet but would prefer it if this were suggested at the start of the plans not as an afterthought.

I’d be just as happy to hang out upstairs with a book and the kettle and leave them to it, but if it was likely to get loud and raucous I’d prefer not to have to listen.

Works both ways whether men or women tbh but I can imagine it’s more likely that a houseful of women would want to oust the guy than the other way round (mainly because men aren’t usually as considerate as to expect their behaviour to have an impact on anyone else!)

MixedUpFiles · 07/04/2021 22:53

If my partner asked me in advance of inviting the friends to stay, I wouldn’t mind staying in a hotel for a few days at his expense. I quite enjoy solo hotel stays and find them very relaxing.

Timeisavirtue · 07/04/2021 22:54

Sex party comes to mind 😂

Littlebluebird123 · 07/04/2021 22:56

My group of friends has done this a few times. Childless couple had a message house suitable for us all to stay. B and b for one is cheaper. Partner didn't want to stay and listen you us talking etc. We stayed for the weekend as all live too far for just a day thing.
All were happy with the arrangement. (Hostess was either given money or food/drink so they didn't have to provide everything. We all pitched in with cleaning/cooking.)

bunhead34 · 07/04/2021 22:56

Make it a spa hotel and he's covering all costs!

lydia2021 · 07/04/2021 22:57

The strippers booked then.....

CirqueDeMorgue · 07/04/2021 22:58

The 'sex party' posters are gonna feel very silly if it turns out this OP refers to a gathering of women...

WaterBottle123 · 07/04/2021 22:59

This thread deserves to be in classics so many unhinged replies! Sex workers, trashed homes, affairs, 'not leaving my own house'.

They're probably just going to play Xbox all weekend and eat junk (if men).

DP and I have both agreed we'd love to go off to a lovely hotel alone!

lydia2021 · 07/04/2021 23:00

Chippendales then.....

GreyhoundG1rl · 07/04/2021 23:02

@CirqueDeMorgue

The 'sex party' posters are gonna feel very silly if it turns out this OP refers to a gathering of women...
Op is being very careful not to elaborate. I wonder why? 🤔
Runkle · 07/04/2021 23:03

I'd love it Grin

Kaleidoscopecascade · 07/04/2021 23:04

Why can't he book them an air bnb and you can stay home?

GCAcademic · 07/04/2021 23:05

If they wanted to have a gathering without you there, they should have arranged for the gathering to take place somewhere other than your house.

BlueBellsTwinkle · 07/04/2021 23:06

I wouldn’t let them have the run of my house, to be honest. Let them book themselves a B&B
So I wouldn’t agree to it

LBOCS2 · 07/04/2021 23:06

@Purplewithred

I’d be absolutely delighted. Although to be fair I’d have probably gone and left him and his mates to it without needing to be asked, let alone bribed.

This. And the other way around; sometimes we have weekends away with other friends and the partner who stays at home will invite various of their friends to stay.

I wouldn't be super impressed if DH organised it without talking to me first but that's the only thing I might have an issue with 🤷🏼‍♀️

Slipperfairy · 07/04/2021 23:07

I don't get why it has to be in your house. If my mates and me want a man free weekend, we book a lodge or caravan. Wouldn't kick dp out.

DontBeRidiculous · 07/04/2021 23:07

I'd hate it, but then, I'd much rather be in my own home than even a nice hotel. Is the person suggesting this the partner or the friends? Either way, I'd be annoyed, but if this was coming from the friends, I'd be even more irritated.

I'd want to suggest that they can all stay at the Air BnB themselves, if they're so worried about my presence disturbing their precious "dynamic". That way I wouldn't have to worry about them leaving a mess, ruining furniture, and other wear and tear problems.

Ragwort · 07/04/2021 23:08

I'd be fine with it, have done the same when I invited a few girl friends round, my DH wouldn't want to hang around with my friends, if my DH invites his rugby mates round I happily disappear.

I don't see it odd at all ... but we have completely separate social lives ...