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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 07/04/2021 23:09

Blue surely it's your DP/DH's home too? Confused.

Freetodowhatiwant · 07/04/2021 23:09

I did this for my hen do. Had a bunch of female friends staying at our place and OH went to stay elsewhere. Sounds fine to me. I love it how someone jumped to them having sex workers over!

dreamingbohemian · 07/04/2021 23:11

Oh come on, you know it's not that simple OP

If its a group of women who want to able to get giddy and talk about sex and their gynecological issues without a man around, that's one thing

If its a bunch of guys who want to get wasted and trash the house and maybe get up to something dodgy, that's something else

RiojaRose · 07/04/2021 23:11

If I could be certain that my house wouldn’t get trashed, no problem. So it would really depend on how well I knew the guests. But I’ve had 30 teenagers in the house before and it was (mostly) fine.

Suzi888 · 07/04/2021 23:12

No! They can party elsewhere!

Howshouldibehave · 07/04/2021 23:13

Nope-I wouldn’t be impressed with this at all! Why don’t they have a party at the birthday boy’s house or the pub, presuming it’s when things are up and running again?

Boonlark · 07/04/2021 23:14

How does any of that meet the covid rules? Or is this planned for much later in the year?

callmeadoctor · 07/04/2021 23:16

Wont it be nice when we don't have to mention "covid" in any of these sort of threads...........................

shinynewapple21 · 07/04/2021 23:17

Did your DP ask you before inviting his friends to stay ?

Because if my DH simply announced he's invited a group of his mates to stay for the weekend then suggested I moved out into a hotel, no I would be very unhappy .

TatianaBis · 07/04/2021 23:17

If my DH wanted a bunch of male friends to stay, it wouldn’t occur to him I wouldn’t be there or ask me to leave my own house.

If he had a lobotomy and suggested it I’d say they can all stay in an Airbnb.

Deedeedocket · 07/04/2021 23:17

My mind actually went straight to her DH wanted to have sex with his mates. But my mind is often in the gutter Blush

JustLyra · 07/04/2021 23:19

I’ve done this before, but it was discussed before the invitations were made.

DH brought it up in a “feel free to tell me to fuck off” way and asked what I thought. Him and his mates are into war game models and he has a set up here. So asked what I thought of him paying for me to stay somewhere nice for the weekend instead of them booking somewhere.

I sent him the link to the place I wanted to stay and the budget I’d need for meals. Also left him to sort out the babysitters completely (which he did).

I think I enjoyed their weekend more than they did 😂

Constance11 · 07/04/2021 23:20

If it was a fancy hotel with room service then I'd be gone in a heartbeat!

DianaT1969 · 07/04/2021 23:20

If my partner wanted to have his friends stay and I felt I'd be in the way, or disturbed, I wouldn't need them to make my arrangements. I have lots of friends and family to visit and places I want to go.
It's about not living in each other's pocket and keeping your own interests and friends.

Shrivelled · 07/04/2021 23:21

I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’d have offered myself, can’t see the issue here.

Phrowzunn · 07/04/2021 23:22

This wouldn’t be a problem for me at all but I’d want nice hotel with breakfasts and dinners rather than Airbnb...

Merryoldgoat · 07/04/2021 23:24

I’d be fucking ecstatic.

LemonSwan · 07/04/2021 23:24

I think your missing a trick here. I would be asking for a spa weekend for two

Haggisfish · 07/04/2021 23:25

It would be fine by me.

PegasusReturns · 07/04/2021 23:26

I’ve done this before. Although a good hotel not Airbnb.

We’ve got a big house with plenty of rooms for guests to stay so it makes sense for DH to host.

I had a lovely two days to myself; massage, books, shopping, Netflix and room service. Much better than staying at home.

RubyFowler · 07/04/2021 23:26

If it was my DP having a boys night I'd probably make myself scarce anyway.
If it was me hosting a girls night, I'd suggest he might make himself scarce but wouldn't offer to pay for a night away.

saffire · 07/04/2021 23:26

Are they planning on getting strippers or something? I'd be suspicious.

3Britnee · 07/04/2021 23:26

I wouldn't be offended. I'd make sure it included a spa day though!

ShaneTheThird · 07/04/2021 23:28

Depends on the relationship really this sounds like its not the norm for the op. I would not go if it was my partner. I would be suspicious drug use is involved really.

Cherrysoup · 07/04/2021 23:29

Absolutely not. They can go to a hotel and give me a weekend of peace.No way am I leaving my house to let them wreck it!

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