What would you say if partner made you this offer

[Thenanny23]

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

imalmostthere It's the OP and her friends who are celebrating the birthday at home.

Some posters need to work on their reading stamina. They only seem to be able to read one post before responding as dramatically as possible.

Reading through the menu at a restaurant must be a challenge. Do they only ever order the first thing?

They're probably the people you always hear being called for over the tannoy at the airport as they're about to miss their flight. Too much information on the flight departure board.

I couldn't agree more roundtable

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Reading through the menu at a restaurant must be a challenge. Do they only ever order the first thing?

Nope. From experience people just ask "what's good"😂

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Reading through the menu at a restaurant must be a challenge. Do they only ever order the first thing?

Nope. From experience people just ask "what's good"😂

Maybe MNHQ needs to develop an audio option for reading threads?

"Go to an Air B&B yourself. You will be free to behave as you choose while I stay at home."

So has the OP not come back to clarify anything?

Why can’t the group stay in an air bnb?
Was the person who’s been offered the night away involved in any of the discussions? Do they feel like they’re being unfairly ejected?
Will the group tidy up after themselves?

@Thenanny23?

tell them to go to the air bib!!

@Howshouldibehave are you joking? I can't tell?

Seems weird, depends on the relationship and the friends but it would have to be a pretty nice spa hotel🤣 I also have fomo and would rather join in🥂

@MumofBreck

Seems weird, depends on the relationship and the friends but it would have to be a pretty nice spa hotel🤣 I also have fomo and would rather join in🥂

@MumofBreck

Why do you think the OPs DH would want a "pretty nice spa hotel"?

I think pp was talking about herself ....

@MumofBreck

Seems weird, depends on the relationship and the friends but it would have to be a pretty nice spa hotel🤣 I also have fomo and would rather join in🥂

You might want to join in a night where your partner sees his friends, but would you want him sat there when you spend the night with your mates?

I think my OH just goes out when he wants to get rid of me;-b
Can’t imagine him asking me to leave my home though😝

I would expect it to have been a discussion we had together before any invites were given out but I would be happy to agree to go to a hotel for the night and would probably take a friend or even stay at a friends house but let DH pay for our meal/night out. I wouldn’t want to be with a group of men celebrating in the same way I wouldn’t want my DH in the house if I had invited all the girls round. It does change the dynamic. I’d be grateful I hadn’t just been asked to stay in my bedroom all evening. As for the sex worker comment...not sure what kind of men you know but that’s an extreme thought to have

Sounds like the power balance in the home is a bit awry. My initial reaction is to say no way Jose! As per the others, i would be very hurt if my DP arranged something like this without asking me.Asking is the key here.

@Birdcloud

Sounds like the power balance in the home is a bit awry. My initial reaction is to say no way Jose! As per the others, i would be very hurt if my DP arranged something like this without asking me.Asking is the key here.

Perhaps her DP can come on here and get some support to ltc

@Birdcloud

Sounds like the power balance in the home is a bit awry. My initial reaction is to say no way Jose! As per the others, i would be very hurt if my DP arranged something like this without asking me.Asking is the key here.

😁

The UK legal definition of bullying includes excluding a person from an activity. I can't see why the party has to be single sex. Why not just invite mixed sex? In an age where both sexism and mysogeny are outlawed, there is no excuse to exclude a person from a party group just because of their sex, male, female or other gender. You couldn't demand an all white or all black party, or all gay or all straight. I have seen women friends in stag parties and men friends at hen nights. Its ok. It actually works ok. The old way of men in at the BBQ and women in the kitchen is antiquated, sexist, emotionally abusive and downright ignorant. If you are not offended by your OH on this occasion, then it is ok. However, as you are asking the question, then give this to your OH and his/her friends to read. I just hate single sex exclusive events, either male or female. It makes outsiders feel unwelcome and just amplifies the need for more equality. I have seen grown men cry with such exclusion, and grown women break bottles. Stereotyping needs dissolving, partly by eliminating single sex events. There can be no reasonable excuse for it.

Eh? He's not excluded because he's a man. The people invited are friends of the birthday girl.

I have seen grown men cry with such exclusion, and grown women break bottles.

Because their partners wanted to spend time with their friends without them there? Bit of an overreaction.

@shouldistop

I have seen grown men cry with such exclusion, and grown women break bottles.

Because their partners wanted to spend time with their friends without them there? Bit of an overreaction.