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AIBU?

To think this is rude? Friends not replying to invite

210 replies

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:24

I know this sort of stuff has been done before.

I've moved house recently and nobody's seen it yet. With the better weather and rule of 6 I've invited a group of friends for a BBQ at mine, in 2 weeks' time. Invite was sent Thursday, read by all on WhatsApp and nobody's replied.
I understand if they are busy but surely you'd message to at least say so?
I know some are on furlough ATM, most don't work weekends and only 1 has a kid.

Just pretty upset tbh, plus we haven't seen each other in months. See all these groups of people meeting in the park now and I feel sad.

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AIBU

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Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:27

They all drive too, one of them it would be 1.5 hour's drive for her but she comes up here anyway to visit her family and I know she's on furlough ATM.

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milinhas · 03/04/2021 18:27

Yeah, that is annoying, YANBU. Being generous, perhaps on Thursday they were at work trying to get everything out of the way before the weekend and thought they would come back to it and forgot?

It’s a weird transitional time with planning and seeing people, I’m sorry they made you feel this way.

UserTwice · 03/04/2021 18:28

If the invitation is not for another 2 weeks, I wouldn't necessarily expect a reply within 2 days. Did you say you wanted to know by x date? I think it's a bit early to get annoyed.

Lancrelady80 · 03/04/2021 18:28

It's only Saturday.

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:28

Maybe, but seems weird they collectively all forget.
I think in this day and age majority of young people are glued to their phones.
I just won't bother next time.

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peachhouses · 03/04/2021 18:28

That’s really rude yeh

Arrowheart · 03/04/2021 18:29

That's rude. I'd be pissed off.

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:30

Well I've asked if they can do the 17th or 18th, maybe it is a bit early but still, doesn't take days to reply? Even to say, I'll have to check I'm free that day and let you know.

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Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:31

I've travelled hours to see them, spent hundreds on weddings and hen dos for them and honestly this isn't the first time, I think they just don't want to or can't be arsed.

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Campervan69 · 03/04/2021 18:32

I'd say to them that if they can't come you'll move on to your next group of 6 so can they please let you know one way or the other.

itsgettingwierd · 03/04/2021 18:32

I'd be pissed off too.

Especially no one replying. Hope they aren't waiting to see what each other responds with - that's even lower.

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:34

Haha yeah, luckily I do have a lovely group of ex colleagues who I should be meeting on the 12th.

Yeah, they seem to do that, like they're waiting for someone else to answer first. They texted each other once to make sure we were 'all wearing dresses' before going for a meal.

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notanothertakeaway · 03/04/2021 18:34

Are you allowed to have a group of friends over, where you live?

Doodle Poll is good for checking availability, but only if people reply quickly

LondonWFuck · 03/04/2021 18:34

Yeah that's really rude :( sorry to hear they have done that!

NailsNeedDoing · 03/04/2021 18:34

Do they all live closer to each other than they live to you?

peachhouses · 03/04/2021 18:35

I’d transfer your plans onto another group of friends and if any of the original do end up replying I’d say sorry I assumed you weren’t interested as you didn’t reply. And then have a lovely day with other people

Wellpark · 03/04/2021 18:40

I'd send a message saying 'Anyone?' and see if that gets a response. If not then that would be it and if cancel due to lack of interest. And then I'd step back by leaving the WhatsApp group

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:41

Yeah it's the rule of 6 here.
They all live within 1.5 hours, most within an hour.
Yeah I'll do that, that's not what good friends do, it's just rude and lazy.

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wildthingsinthenight · 03/04/2021 18:42

To me it is rude but I am always accused of being too sensitive with this type of thing.

You could send a "Just checking you received this?" type of message

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:42

Yeah I could do, it says on WhatsApp they've all 'read' it in any case.

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chocolateorangeinhaler · 03/04/2021 18:43

A bbq in April? I wouldn't want to drive 1.5 hours just to stand in the cold eating a burnt sausage.
Wait till mid July and warm evenings they might be more keen.

SecretEaterer · 03/04/2021 18:47

Hmm. 2 things come to mind:

It's still going to be pretty cold. Maybe they're not keen on the idea but don't know how to say so politely without pissing on your chips. Tbh I was a bit when a friend suggested a picnic on the 17th. It's still meant to be cold even in the south east. I think 12 degrees is forecasted.

Or

They don't feel comfortable socialising outside of bubbles yet, even outside. A couple of my friends with vulnerable family members have said they won't be doing such things until they're vaccinated.

SecretEaterer · 03/04/2021 18:48

@chocolateorangeinhaler

A bbq in April? I wouldn't want to drive 1.5 hours just to stand in the cold eating a burnt sausage.
Wait till mid July and warm evenings they might be more keen.

Yeah that's pretty much what I thought.

Billandben444 · 03/04/2021 18:48

It's rude. If they think it's a long way to travel to "stand in the cold eating a burnt sausage" then they should have the good manners to regretfully turn down the invite. Give them another 48hrs and then let them all know that you're very sorry but something more fun has cropped up so you're rescinding the invite.

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:49

That's fair enough, but the decent thing to do would be to say so no?

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