Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude? Friends not replying to invite

210 replies

Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:24

I know this sort of stuff has been done before.

I've moved house recently and nobody's seen it yet. With the better weather and rule of 6 I've invited a group of friends for a BBQ at mine, in 2 weeks' time. Invite was sent Thursday, read by all on WhatsApp and nobody's replied.
I understand if they are busy but surely you'd message to at least say so?
I know some are on furlough ATM, most don't work weekends and only 1 has a kid.

Just pretty upset tbh, plus we haven't seen each other in months. See all these groups of people meeting in the park now and I feel sad.

OP posts:
DenisetheMenace · 03/04/2021 18:49

It’s allowed but lots of people still don’t want to meet up just yet. Maybe they’re mulling it over/don’t want to offend by saying no straight away?

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:50

These things are valid, but it's rude to just ignore and hope I get it.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 03/04/2021 18:51

Do they know about you meeting the other group on 12th?

SwedishK · 03/04/2021 18:51

I agree with @chocolateorangeinhaler. I wouldn’t commit to that either until I knew what the weather was doing.

londongirl12 · 03/04/2021 18:51

I would be annoyed that they'd ignored it. However I agree with others. I was in the garden of my PIL today and I nearly froze to death!! 🥶

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:51

They are not the cautious types from what I've seen, I mean they have always done things once they were allowed again, none are shielding etc

OP posts:
Springsnake · 03/04/2021 18:51

I think postpone it till later on ,for better weather ,I wouldn’t go ,because I’d not manage without the loo ,unless you are letting them in for the loo

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:52

I am letting them use the loo yes.

OP posts:
SunnySideUp2020 · 03/04/2021 18:52

It's rude not to reply or even acknowledge the invitation.
Either you say let me get back to you, or not that keen it will be cold or not comfortable meeting up just now.
Takes a minute to reply...
I wouldn't bother next time!

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:53

Exactly, takes literally 10 seconds to write a msg !

OP posts:
SecretEaterer · 03/04/2021 18:54

Are they all part of the same group of friends? They might be messaging in the background on how to say no diplomatically without hurting your feelings.

I'd guess it's because it's still too cold. Probably nothing personal.

Do you have outdoor heaters or a roofed patio or anything?

DamsonTrousers · 03/04/2021 18:54

Yes it’s rude not to reply at all. Even if they didn’t want to commit, I’d at least acknowledge it.

hibbledibble · 03/04/2021 18:55

Yanbu, it is rude to not reply at all. I've had this issue with invites for children's parties. Some people are just rude.

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:56

I would be happy to wait until the next day it's in the 20s. I've never understood this mentality that it's kinder to just ignore it.

OP posts:
Oneeyeopen · 03/04/2021 18:57

It may be warm.
We once had a bbq in Bucks for dh’s April birthday.
The weather was glorious.

Skysblue · 03/04/2021 18:58

That is rude. Most people I know aren’t agreeing to many meetups though - they’re legal not advised lol. I personally wouldn’t meet up with 5 people all from different areas until after vaccine more widespread. Perhaps they don’t feel comfortable coming because of covid and don’t know how to say that.

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:58

Had it last summer with them when i tried to arrange a meetup with them and my new bf.
None of them replied, then one did after 4 days saying she didn't want to be a 3rd wheel, even though it was just going to be a walk round a park.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:58

They have met up with others etc. Last summer.
I don't think it's Covid related.

OP posts:
SecretEaterer · 03/04/2021 18:59

Are you all part of the same circle?

Is it only 1 person that lives over an hour away, are the rest near you?

jessstan2 · 03/04/2021 18:59

Very early days if you only sent the invitation two days ago. Give them a bit of time.

Original poster
Weareunloved · 03/04/2021 18:59

We're all part of the same circle. All within an hour, one is 1.5 hours away.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 03/04/2021 19:00

Hmmm you would think friends would be honest enough to say can we confirm once we know the weather?
I had friends over last night and it was freezing....but they were all local....were under strict instructions not to stay out of politeness....to leave when it was too cold....were filled with hot drinks as well as wine. And....we would have cancelled if it rained.

Have you seen any of them for a walk or anything since December? Do you chat on the phone much? Maybe they also have a lot of family they are trying to male plans with and friends are lower priority at the moment.

Sillysandy · 03/04/2021 19:00

"hi guys, no replies here...can you let me know?"

I hate wondering about stuff like this. Depending on their replies I would probably assess whether I should be making much effort with them.

OctupusObsidian · 03/04/2021 19:01

I don't think it's rude. It's only be around 48 hours, people are busy and things are quite stressful for people at the moment. It's also Easter Weekend and Passover.

A lot of people are understandably waiting to reply because they want to see that numbers keep decreasing.

I personally think that in normal times it's reasonable to allow around a week for people to reply. It would be far ruder for them to respond Yes and then no show on you.

I hope you are enjoying your new home.

WhatTheFlap · 03/04/2021 19:01

Yeah this would piss me off massively.