Why can people say as clear as day he is leaving? We spent today together with the children and it was a good day.
Because he isn’t physically, emotionally or financially present.
Because he has moved out and he’s lied to you about the terms of that.
Because you are enabling him by having nice days out, giving him all the joys of a family unit without actually working or supporting it.
OP I don’t really understand why you posted this thread. Everyone has told you what’s what, you have no legal right to your home, you have options in terms of asking the uni for support, you should be providing security to your children in those forms and instead you’re still hell bent on saving a beautiful person who gambled away your children’s food.
People have offered advice, they’ve explained how to get support. You’re saying it’s turned negative - the person being negative here is you. You’re not willing or not able to do, anything about what is causing you untold stress.
So, what we’ve established is that you don’t want to leave him and you don’t want to make a better life for yourself. Your world revolves around him.
But yet, you’re not issuing ultimatums. You haven’t said he needs to sign up to GamStop, hand over his wages on pay day, get another job, take the children one day after school and EOW so you can work on your dissertation.
So that means you’re scared of losing him. And he knows that, that’s why he’s been able to get to this point because he can walk all over you.
He won’t be back, because he’s not scared of losing you. You’ll keep coming running. You’ll keep doing this dance. You’re children will keep going without.
It is a mistake to believe ‘if I can just...’
If I can just get my dissertation I can do X
If he can just have a good day with us he’ll be back.
It’s all lies love. You’re both lying. And meanwhile your kids will go without. And I agree with the social worker who said ‘I’d be lining up foster care’. Yeah, I would too.
Because this is the same pattern as abuse, you let so much happen and refuse to see sense. You’re then in so deep you can’t possibly give up.
What are you going to do? Because so far all you’ve done is establish a long list of what you’re not going to do.
And yes I’m harsh, and yes it’s negative and yes it’s what you don’t want to hear.
But there are two children who aren’t being provided for by Mum and Dad. Dad’s an alcoholic, but it’s okay because he’s a low-level alcoholic, and Mum’s stressed but keeps taking Dad back but that’s okay because she loves him. Mum never has any money because dad spends it all on himself but that’s okay because Dad loves her.
Grow up. You have children. You have responsibilities. This is not Romeo and Juliet this is abuse. Financial. Emotional. Abuse. And him, what he is doing to his kids verges on neglect. He’d happily see them without a home or food. It is disgusting.