to think that DH should be contributing our rent?

[Yolo89]

So my DH has decided to move out for three months to try and sort out his depression. He also has a bit of an issue with alcohol.
He left giving me about two days notice.

I am studying full time so have little to no income.

He has now told me he cannot pay any rent this month and some next month. My DS and DD are with me.

His lack of repsonsibility towards money has been an ongoing problem. He spent £200 on some slots app in January and each month runs out and then Im the bad one as i dont give him money.

What is fair in this instance? How much of the rent should he be paying whilst he is not here, given it is for three months and then he intends at this point to move back.

I am just so upset right now.

I understand he dealt with all the financial stuff Yolo89.

But, you can't rely on him dealing with the financial stuff anymore.

I really can't stress this enough to you.

He will not pay the rent this month, next month or any more months.
He will keep all the UC money. He will not share this with your.
He will not contribute fairly to the upkeep of the children.
In fact, he will not be fair at all.

I know this sounds harsh and none of it is your fault. Unfortunately, you are the one that is going to have to pick up the pieces.

Tell him he has to pay the whole rent. Lease is in his name. Don't pay a penny. Leave him to deal with the consequences of non-payment.

Then find somewhere smaller for you and the kids, file your own UC claim and put in a claim for CM. Save your/family money for the new place.

You'll feel so much better.

If the tenancy is in his name then he is responsible for the whole rent regardless to living there or not ~ look at it this way you don’t pay less if you go on holiday for however long. He is theoretically taking a “ holiday” from family life and rent etc still needs to be covered.

@Yolo89

We have been on UC until he got a job in January. Even now we still get some but he takes most of it as it only goes to him. I am definitely separating it.

I just cant believe he will let us face eviction. I am reaching out to family for help.

Make the separation final and permanent. Claim UC in your sole name and stop funding his drinking - which, by keeping a joint claim, is what you are doing right now.

You need really to be quite pleased that without him there, you’ve got 6 months of free rent. Just what you need to get yourself sorted. Shit for the landlord, but that’s the risk in landlording and one (valid) reason why rents are so high. Not your problem though.

The danger is he’s not moved out to address his issues but just wants to drink and gamble without scrutiny.

He absolutely needs to be paying rent, but I agree a separate UC Claim might be a good road.

You need to end it with him, things won’t improve. Technically you could move out of the house and rent somewhere in your name, claim UC and get most of the rent paid. The fact the rent on the current house is in his name means you technically don’t have to pay anything, he has signed a lease for 6 or 12 months so he will have to pay that until that times up. I would start divorcing him and chase him up for child support.

"What should he pay" really isn't the issue. You can't make him pay anything and he's made it pretty clear he doesn't think he needs to.

I also think you need to have a serious think about whether or not he'll even come back. He's left (I assume) a typical family home with the normal amount of hustle bustle and children's noise. A place in which he has family responsibilities. He's going to (again I assume) a place of his own in which all he needs to focus on is himself. He's already proved himself to be selfish. Why on earth do you think he'll want to come back? In his place I probably wouldn't. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying you better give it serious thought. And frankly, I wouldn't want him back.

If you have family to fall back on ask them for help in moving OUT instead of help paying the rent. First take legal advice about your liability for the rent, if any. Where I live debts are joint liability, especially if there is 'equal benefit' derived from it. Once that's settled make plans. See if you'd be entitled to enough to rent on your own. If not, see if your parents can take you in until you're through schooling and back on your feet.

He's never going to be dependable. Quit depending on him to do the right thing.

Solicitor here. Don't pay any rent. It's not your problem and it will be several months before the landlord gets you out, and you can start looking for somewhere smaller and more affordable. You mention being a student - can the accommodation office at uni help?

Separate the UC claim pronto on the basis you have split. Fucking ridiculous that he keeps all the money for himself when he has a whole family to support.

Make the split permanent!!! What a waste of space he is.

Cherchez la femme.

@sjfjsnfkdhsbd

It doesn't matter whether he should be covering some of the rent, because he's drinking and gambling the money away and has already told you he won't pay.

So, being practical, you need to update your UC claim as a single person and budget for covering costs without him.

And then get yourself support. He has long term problems, they won't be fixed in 3 months. I'm sorry.

This. Please prioritise your children and yourself over and above him. He's certainly prioritising himself.

it is for three months and then he intends at this point to move back.

No he doesnt.

NO HE DOESN'T.

Sorry OP but that's a bold faced lie.

@HollowTalk

Once he's away from you he will spend every penny possible on himself. He's utterly selfish. You really have to put yourself and the children first now, OP. Put a claim in to Child Support. Sort out the UC for yourself. Ask your family for help. He's a complete shit and doesn't deserve you and the children.

This OP, start putting whats needed in place that you and your kids have a secure home/life. He's just going to let you down again and again. Separate everything, get your UC and CB, get on the council housing list.

If it’s in his name, he should be paying but if you stated then I suppose the rent is down to you.

Being a full time student when you have dependents would seem to be a luxury you can’t afford.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

If it’s in his name, he should be paying but if you stated then I suppose the rent is down to you.

Being a full time student when you have dependents would seem to be a luxury you can’t afford.

OP don't give up the studying just yet - especially if you've only got one more term to go. Explore benefits, getting on the council housing waiting list, family, etc.

I think those telling the OP that he won’t be back, need to be careful.

When he realises his UC is going down as a single male and he’s having to pay CMS and he realises that OP is in her final year and will be earning in a few months after she finishes...

Then, he might well slink back.

@Yolo89 you need to be ready for that, and you need to see it for what it is - convenience, not love and remorse.

So he pays 3 months for a roof over his own head when he already had one but can't pat the rent on a property his legally responsible for to keep a roof over the heads of his children. You contact us tell them his moved out. You set up a separate claim then you contact the landlord and ask that he make you the new tenant. He goes after the waste of space for what's owed as its him that should have paid it.

Pay and contact UC

@FortniteBoysMum it sounds like the house is too expensive for her. It’s bad advice for her to offer to take on a tenancy that she can’t afford - especially when she’s actually got quite secure housing there, for free, whilst the eviction process is started.

I would also say that you need to be financially planning and acting as if you are a single parent. He won’t have battled and won against his issues in 3 months, and he clearly isn’t financially responsible so YOU HAVE to be.

Time to ensure all benefits are paid into your own account (not a joint account either) so you can provide for your children. Speak to the council to work out what support they can provide you with. Technically you don’t actually have any accommodation as you are staying at someone else’s property and realistically he could kick you out at any moment. Explain to the council he has upped and left and has no intention of paying the rent so you will eventually be left homeless as you can’t claim UC unless you have a tenancy and ask for help and assistance to prevent this happening.

Start looking for somewhere for you and the kids to live. He may sort himself out but you and your kids need a security net if he doesn’t or if he decides actually he doesn’t want to come back.

I suspect that the landlord may well be fed up and may seek possession should there be further non Payment so having a back up plan really is a must.

Time to put you and those kids first.

OP you are in a bad situation because it's in his name, so you are going to need to find somewhere to live.

You don't have income of your own as you're studying.

I would not pay the rent, not to piss him off, but simply because you can't afford to and then I'd use any money you have, plus your parents' financial help (which you seem to imply is available to you) to set yourself up somewhere else with your kids.

But if you are intent on staying with him, then he should be paying what he was before. He cannot simply take a holiday from rent and kids if he is meaning to pick both back up. It doesn't work like that and it isn't fair to you.

Can you ring housing matters or simile charity to get advice.

He’s left you high and dry and you seem to think he’ll be back.

Short term tenancies don’t exist the min is usually 6 months.

He may well have run up debt you don’t know about and about to find out!!

Think about yourself and your kids. You need to act quickly.

Check all bank accounts savings and credit cards etc

Check the credit score agencies

You may well be in big trouble shortly

I just spoke to him and he knows he has done wrong and he didnt have any come back. He does want to move back in three months and we are having counselling.
I have just separated UC.

DH earns a decent wage but has spent it all paying three months of rent and now has nothing left for himself this month. I had to pay for holiday things for the children, I have to pay for all the lessons. I have to pay for everything even though I am the student.

Its ridiculous.

He’s not paid rent on another property. He’s gambled it away. He’s found someone else to put him up for a few months. He plans on drinking or gambling any spare cash.

Don’t pay the rent on the property you are in if it is in his name only. Use the next few months to focus on finishing your course, finding a job, putting in your own claim for UC, and finding a different tenancy in your own name.

Consider telling the landlord you have lost your keys and can you pay to change the locks. Do not give the new key immediately to your ex so he can’t come back in when he feels like it. Obviously you may need to give him a key in the future as the tenancy is in his name but don’t make it easy for him. You don’t want him sneaking back in and stealing anything of value you own to sell when his money runs out.

The lease is in his name only?

good. Don't pay it. Tell him you're not paying it. Tell him you're done. Contact the council and tell them you're being made homeless by your feckless ex as it's in his name and he's not paying rent and your relationship is over.

Don't look back.