To not want my dp to go out?

[Bezi]

my dp has just gone out to town, it was a last minute decision and I now cant help but be annoyed about it and also feel guilty for being annoyed. I dont think I'd mind so much but he`s been out every weekend for the past 4 weeks bar 1. what makes it worse is the last time he went out he didnt get in until 9am without no phonecalls since 4pm the previous day, I was furious to say the least!!

Oh FFS

yes he went out friday night. And so what, yes he was sposed to be home by 8, but not for any reason, i wasnt going out or anything i didnt need him to be home, if i did he would of been here.

It was a chat issue, i raised some points for bezi to ponder on. Thats all.
I showed her how she could as i have done, stick up for herself, set that young man straight.

haychee, once someone has decided that you are in denial
whatever you post will either be ignored or used against you.

It's a strange way to win you over!

To use that one punch, that one incident
as a stick for beating haychee is pure hysterical malice.

Thankyou daddyJ

sorry if i get hysterical over domestic abuse

Ok, so maybe he is more dependent on drink than me.
I couldnt go out and drink so much that i fall asleep in someone elses chair i admit that.

But he doesnt lie.
He doesnt spend all our money on beer, if were skint there is no beer, no question.
He doesnt cheat.
He doesnt go to the shop for a paper and not come home again.
He doesnt scare dc, or make them suffer in any way.
He is never drunk in charge of dc.
He goes days without a beer. but most days he has one. (hasnt had one today or yesterday, not that im keeping tabs)
He has never missed a family experience or attended drunk.
He never misses a day off work. Unless sick (nonalcohol related sickness)

Need i go on?

DaddyJ, have you read all of haychee's posts on this thread?

The back peddling is overwhelming. Forgive us if we think the lady doth protest too much.

Domestic abuse!
Seriously, get a grip!

Domestic abuse is continued torture, is nit one punch in the face.
Admittedly, if he had hit me it would be different, but he didnt. 8stone me, while half asleep punched dp who is 6ft6 16stone. I dont think he even felt it.

It was funny. I opened the door, he looked at me i wallopped him and he had to sleep on the trampoline. It is funny.
Stop taking everything so freakin seriously. Like im an abuser. Good grief.

Domestic abuse??

That is an insult to anyone who has
actually experienced real abuse.

What haychee did was a one-off case of
desperate times, desperate measures.
And by the sound of it,
it worked a treat.

It did work a treat daddyJ.
I havnt looked back.

And it IS an insult to those that have and do recieve real abuse.

I wouldnt say it was domestic abuse, I would say it was wrong to hit him, just as I was wrong to KO my ex when he found him getting his cock sucked, but it wasn't domestic abuse.

St George, I think I did.

She does not seem to be in denial to me.
You disagree? Maybe I have missed something,
this thread is moving fast!

In denial about her partner's relationship with alcohol, definitely yes.

Why am in denial?

I wouldn't say she was in denial, I would say she was very aware of her partner's relationship with alcohol, it was her that told us the problems he has with it.
I would say that she doesn't like to think about it too much and has accpeted the way it is as normal in her life, if she is happy to live with it thats her choice.

OMG, are you now in denial about your denial?

Read the thread haychee. Read your own posts and your discussion with expat.

Do you have short term memory loss by any chance?

"showed her how she could as i have done, stick up for herself, set that young man straight"

How would that be then Haychee? throwing hot tea over her fellar or punching him in the face?

I am happy to live with it, very happy.
Dp is in totla control of his apparently terrible addiction. I dont think he even has to try!
Thise here that think im either in denial or hiding the real truth are those who have alcohol problems yourselves. You couldnt control yourselves, you have been in denial and therefore i must be too and dp is actually totally addicted to alcohol.

Err actually I drink about 12 units of alcohol a year haychee, so I'm pretty sure I don't have a problem with it.

Must check what the recommended unit limits are these days.

SaintGeorge, I think she probably means me, snoosnoo and expat, she has already mentioned expat's 'lack of control'.

Erm i don't drink at all maybe a glass or 2 at christmas thats about it.

But i do live with a recovering addict....

Sccoby
No i think i told her to set boundaries actually.
I told her i wouldnt be happy with the lie that he his made (bezis dp)

So you all have close experiences of real addiction.

So therfore my dp MUST be addicted. Im a domestic abuser and blah blah blah

This is getting boring now.

tis true, I'm so bladdered I think I'll sleep on my trampolene....now wheres my husband, I'd like him to punch me in the face or throw a cup of tea over me....................a typical everyday occurance in the normal high functioning household ......zzzzzzzzzzzzz sorry just fell alseep on my mates sofa

I have a slight difference, dp's addiction was not alchol.

That's fair enough, people wanting to
warn Haychee about where her dh's large nights out
could lead.

I joined the thread because I sensed the message
was being diluted by increasing levels of personal abuse.

Persuading haychee that she/her dh have an issue
is surely easier if it's done in a slightly friendlier tone, non?