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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone WhatsApping before 8am

189 replies

Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:28

I've possibly irrational rage about this and rather than put up a passive aggressive rant on Facebook for them to see (which to be fair I would never do, but that's how angry I feel) I want to ask if Iabu..

My first day off work this year. I do turn my notifications off on my phone but because I normally get my work stuff coming through at 6am I have it set to turn off between 10 and 6. My phone obviously doesnt realise its bank holiday and not a normal friday and I didnt think to change it (forgot to).

Had a beer last night and was looking forward to a lie in but got a what'Sapp around 7.45am from someone I know and friendly with but haven't spoken to in over a year. No engagement just a link to a justgiving page for a sponsored run. It kicked off my phone notification which in turn starts my Garmin watch vibrating.

I'm not a person who can sleep once woken up and feel sad that my lie in was ruined (I wont get another over the weekend).

Is this horrendous boundaries? I've currently a sponsorship thing myself but wouldnt dream of messaging people a link. I put it in my newsfeed for people to ignore lol. This bloke has never sponsored me.

They've not said hello, how are you or anything. Just a link to their fundraiser in my WhatsApp at 7.45 on a bank holiday.

I'm prepared to be told I'm unreasonable. I personally wouldn't have minded if it was after 9am.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 02/04/2021 10:31

Just put your phone on silent.

Mine hasn’t made a noise in 5 years. Bliss.

And in such an addict I look for notifications all the time anyway

Skyliner001 · 02/04/2021 10:31

YABU up to you to have phone on silent

Returnoftheowl · 02/04/2021 10:32

I think just sending a fundraising link with no even attempt at hello is a bit rude.
However I don't think it is an unusual/unreasonable time to send a message. It would be an unreasonable time to phone for a conversation. But messages can be left until it is convenient for you.
Always remember to turn off notifications, especially if you want to sleep in!

Okbussitout · 02/04/2021 10:32

Yabu massively so. This is all on you. If you're that bothered about the times people message it's up to you to have your phone notifications to manage that.

Yiud look like a nutter if you ranted about this on Facebook so really don't.

Also are you saying you've had no weekends off this year or just annual leave?

LucieStar · 02/04/2021 10:32

I just always make sure at night before I sleep that my phone is on silent and face down so lighting up with a message doesn't wake me, and Garmin turned off so it doesn't vibrate. People can text at whatever time they like then and it doesn't affect me.

Nancylovesthecock · 02/04/2021 10:32

If you don't want to be disturbed it's up to YOU to make sure your not disturbed.

Gone are the days where we had landlines that would ring loudly and others were therefore considerate about the times they called unless an emergency.

This is your fault, not his. Yabu

SomewhereInbetween1 · 02/04/2021 10:34

I think it's a bit of an over reaction. Sorry!

LubaLuca · 02/04/2021 10:34

The point of messaging is that you can read it at your convenience - nobody expects you to immediately read and respond to every message.

Set your phone to 'do not disturb' between certain hours.

UCOinaUCG · 02/04/2021 10:34

The onus is on you to make sure your phone doesn't disturb you.

kereh · 02/04/2021 10:35

YABU to even think about a passive aggressive Facebook rant. I can't stand people who do that. If you have an issue with someone have the balls to speak to them directly instead of embarrassing yourself publicly.

And put your phone on silent if you're that bothered about a lie in.

Original poster
Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:35

It was on silent it comes back on at 6am as that's my normal working day. I never thought to change it for bank holiday Friday.

I accept it was my fault though. Thank you for making me see sense. I was really annoyed lol. Thanks again.

OP posts:
MadeOfStarStuff · 02/04/2021 10:35

They are BU for spamming all their contacts with the fundraiser but YABU for being annoyed by being disturbed at 8am. If you don’t want to be disturbed then it’s your responsibility to turn off notifications and/or put your phone on silent. It was 8am not the middle of the night.

CertainGecko · 02/04/2021 10:36

I have my phone set so messages don't disturb me at all but I can understand how you've ended up leaving yours on today by mistake, with the work related issue.

Usually I'd say WhatsApp messages are fair game for any time but tbh, a link to a fundraiser with no preamble at 7.45am is fucking rude. It's rude at the best of times, but more so at that time on a bank holiday. What a self absorbed tosser.

AlexaShutUp · 02/04/2021 10:36

YABVU.

People don't send whatsapp messages expecting an immediate response, they do it at their own convenience. If you don't want to be disturbed, then change the settings on your phone accordingly.

EnglishRain · 02/04/2021 10:36

YABU. This is why phones can be put on silent. I've had the vibration off on messages when on silent for years now. It vibrates if someone calls me when on silent and if on loud it will ring for a call, but that's it. Everyone knows if it's important to call me. Some people lie in until 11 on days off, you can't sit there only messaging people between times you think they're up and about.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 02/04/2021 10:37

I leave my phone downstairs so this doesn't happen.

But I agree that it is rude. I never WhatsApp someone unless I can see that they are already active.

freckledsloth · 02/04/2021 10:37

YABU about being disturbed-up to you to put your phone on silent if you wanted to lie in without disturbance. YANBU about the lack of greeting/message with the fundraising link, I'd find that a bit off too.

cookiedoughsweetiepie · 02/04/2021 10:39

I have notifications turned off on my fitbit. As if i happen to have untangled myself from my phone and put it down
Momentarily i don't want to be reminded/notified or continue distracted.

I also have notifications disabled on most things on my iphone as i find them very distracting and over stimulating when trying
To Relax. My phone is also
Always on silent. I couldnt cope with it pinging and beeping all the
Time i'd never switch off!

Northofsomewhere · 02/04/2021 10:39

Is your gripe just that it's a message before 9am on a bank holiday or just in general? I still think YABU, it's still a working day for me and many others, the only day I get off extra is Sunday (as it is I don't work Friday/Saturday generally). I also start work at 6am some mornings and will reply to messages when I get up at 5am if I've received them overnight and expect other people to manage their phones settings so they don't get worked up in the same way I manage mine. I don't think messages really need to be sent at a certain time to be acceptable, many people don't even sleep in the same room as their phones or have smart watches connected to them.

I assume you're just a little irritated because you've been woken up and will realise it could've been anyone who messaged you (including good friends) expecting you to pick it up when you woke up naturally.

Original poster
Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:40

Okay. Thank you. I need to remember to make sure I change it next bank holiday Friday ha. Its only if it's a week day it's a problem.

Works been really stressful and a bit shit so I was really looking forward to the downtime. My own fault for not changing the settings.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 02/04/2021 10:41

Sending the fundraising link in that way was rude and very arrogant and marks him as an arsehole - but tbh its completely stupid to sleep with your mobile phone etc. in your bedroom. Terrible adolescent-style sleep hygiene.

Buy an old fashioned alarm clock for a couple of pounds and keep ypur technology in the living room! Otherwise it really is your own fault if the intrusive communication technology you choose to keep in your bedroom wakes you up...

Original poster
Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:43

To be fair I would have been less annoyed had he engaged a bit. If was just a link to a justgiving page and I have not spoken to this person in 16 months.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 02/04/2021 10:44

Enjoy the rest of your bank holiday, OP. Sounds like you need the break!Flowers

Original poster
Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:45

@AlexaShutUp

Enjoy the rest of your bank holiday, OP. Sounds like you need the break!Flowers
Thank you. I appreciate it. Xx
OP posts:
Namechangeforspring2021 · 02/04/2021 10:46

If it was 5am maybe - but anything after 7 I think is fine in my book (I have children that don’t sleep so it seams like midday to me)