Someone WhatsApping before 8am

[Justreadingtheforum3]

I've possibly irrational rage about this and rather than put up a passive aggressive rant on Facebook for them to see (which to be fair I would never do, but that's how angry I feel) I want to ask if Iabu..

My first day off work this year. I do turn my notifications off on my phone but because I normally get my work stuff coming through at 6am I have it set to turn off between 10 and 6. My phone obviously doesnt realise its bank holiday and not a normal friday and I didnt think to change it (forgot to).

Had a beer last night and was looking forward to a lie in but got a what'Sapp around 7.45am from someone I know and friendly with but haven't spoken to in over a year. No engagement just a link to a justgiving page for a sponsored run. It kicked off my phone notification which in turn starts my Garmin watch vibrating.

I'm not a person who can sleep once woken up and feel sad that my lie in was ruined (I wont get another over the weekend).

Is this horrendous boundaries? I've currently a sponsorship thing myself but wouldnt dream of messaging people a link. I put it in my newsfeed for people to ignore lol. This bloke has never sponsored me.

They've not said hello, how are you or anything. Just a link to their fundraiser in my WhatsApp at 7.45 on a bank holiday.

I'm prepared to be told I'm unreasonable. I personally wouldn't have minded if it was after 9am.

Set it to silent, put it upside down and switch off WiFi/data - job done! I get you are disappointed but you are shooting the messenger here...

My phone is set to Do Not Disturb from 10pm-7am (Apple)
All notifications or calls between those times are automatically silenced, it doesn't vibrate either.

You can allow calls from contacts you have marked as Favourites and you can also allow calls from any number that ring back within three minutes of their first call, which is typical in an emergency.

I completely agree with you! I can't set my phone to completely silent I have an elderly grandparent who may call if unwell, but one friend who is often up at night with a young baby feels it's ok to message at 2am 3am 5am etc I haven't said anything as I don't want to fall out but iv made a point of never replying to those messages now

I wouldn't text anyone after 11pm or before 9 am at a weekend unless urgent

YABU - just switch it off completely and turn it on when you wake up, that's what I do

Just leave it downstairs. Easy.

I'm going to go against opinion and agree with you. I wouldn't message anyone at that time in the morning, especially on a bank Holiday.

Just a link and no engagement is also rude imo.

I mean, put your phone on night mode. Not hard. People can text whenever is handy to them and it's not your fault you had it on loud so it woke you up.

Turn your phone off if you want peace. You can’t dictate when people send messages. That’s completely unreasonable. You can only dictate when you respond.

Also it's not always practical for people to have phones/watches on DND. My mum is ill and I need to be contactable at all times.

If you don't want to be disturbed it's up to YOU to make sure your not disturbed.

Yes.

I never WhatsApp someone unless I can see that they are already active.

Interesting. I presume whatsapp is not your main communication app? I message and receive messages at all times of the day and night, you don’t have to wait for someone to show as active before messaging them. Some people including myself don’t open the app unless a notification pops up. So I wouldn’t go on WhatsApp just to make myself visible for others. Not to mention most people have disabled the ‘last seen at...’ option.

Fundraisers shared on social media are annoying OP, I agree. However you can’t expect a personalised message because this person probably clicked on ‘send to all my contacts’. It’s a one second action, sharing a link that way. He can’t personalise messages to everyone.

@Howmercurialislife

Also it's not always practical for people to have phones/watches on DND. My mum is ill and I need to be contactable at all times.

You can turn off WhatsApp notifications and keep your phone and volume on. WhatsApp messages won’t pop up but your mum can still call/message you normally. Same for any individual app you want to silence.

Also it's not always practical for people to have phones/watches on DND. My mum is ill and I need to be contactable at all times.

You can allow calls from contacts you have marked as Favourites and you can also allow calls from any number that rings back within three minutes of their first call, which is typical in an emergency.

@EileenGC stepdad will often WhatsApp to see if I am awake, are you up can you call, kind of defeats the point I know and that wakes me up.

Sometimes he just needs to talk, even if in the night if mum is having a bad one. He is her carer and I need to be on hand to support him.

Personally before 8am on a bank holiday is too early for me to message anyone.

I wouldn’t be annoyed in the slightest by someone sending a fundraising link for charity but I’d be massively annoyed at them doing it at 7.45am! I have a few friends and work colleagues who seem to think it’s fine to message people before 7am and I do think it is rude. I personally think anything before 9 is rude and I’d prefer people left it til after 9.30. I have the same issue as you, vacant get back to sleep once I’m awake even if I’ve barely slept and my sleep has been so rubbish during this pandemic with all the stress. I also have my notifications set to silent permanently so it wouldn’t have woken me but sometimes they text me and I don’t have text notifications on silent! Have actually taken to putting my phone in airplane mode when I’m sleeping as anyone who really wants to get hold of me at 3am for an emergency has my landline number.

Thanks everyone. Possibly my ages doesnt help I'm 45 so I've kind of always thought contacting people after 10 and before 9 as rude, but guess the world has changed and everything is s lot more 24 hour. Also I have elderly parents too so I genuinely dont mind people contacting me who really need me.

I don't get social media notifications, it's just texts, WhatsApp, email, calls after 6am as that's when I would be working.

I've taken onboard what you've said and it's just one of those things. I think I was grumpy because I'm just overtired. I'm not now. You've given me a reality check.

The point of messaging (not ringing or knocking on your door) is for you to receive & deal with message at time of your convenience. Only you know when those convenient times are. Must change your settings to only notify you at convenient times.

Mine is always on silent when i go to bed so people can message as much as they like, i will check when i wake up!

@Justreadingtheforum3

It was on silent it comes back on at 6am as that's my normal working day. I never thought to change it for bank holiday Friday.

I accept it was my fault though. Thank you for making me see sense. I was really annoyed lol. Thanks again.

I would be as well but do you need WhatsApp for work?

I have to have my phone on 24/7 because elderly mum, but I don't use WA.

YABU, but you know that you should have turned notifications off if you’re so easily woken!

Text messages are passive, always will be. It’s entirely appropriate to text a link to a group chat.

I hope your day improves

Just put your phone on bloody mute.

Totally your fault for not doing this for hours that suit you.

That said it is just rude to whatsapp a justgiving link but thats a different argument.

That sounds like a knobbish message and that would annoy me - just a link with no chatter and no engagement seems cheeky! However, I have friends all over the world and so often get messages from random time zones at random times of day and night. When I'm in bed I put my phone on do not disturb, if I forget it's on me.

I have a couple of busy group chats that are permanently muted and I check them when I have time.

Hope you enjoy your long weekend OP, maybe a nice nana nap this afternoon? :-)

@CertainGecko

I have my phone set so messages don't disturb me at all but I can understand how you've ended up leaving yours on today by mistake, with the work related issue.

Usually I'd say WhatsApp messages are fair game for any time but tbh, a link to a fundraiser with no preamble at 7.45am is fucking rude. It's rude at the best of times, but more so at that time on a bank holiday. What a self absorbed tosser.

I agree with this. Although I would also say if you can't get back to sleep after a single notification ping you probably don't need to. Put your phone and smart watch in another room at bedtime! Alarm clocks are still readily available even in 2021.

I probably would think of not sending a whatsapp before 8 unless the person had sent a message first, and my phone is on silent (and do not disturb from 10-7)
I think its rude to send a sponsorship link with no ore-amble yo people you have spoken to for ages.

@AppleKatie

Just put your phone on silent.

Mine hasn’t made a noise in 5 years. Bliss.

And in such an addict I look for notifications all the time anyway

Any phone less than 5 years old even lets you set it to silent for some apps or people, and not for others. Mine rings if it's my DH or parents, and not for anyone else. My whatsapp never makes a sound, because whatsapp is never urgent.

OP if work are contacting you through whatsapp, then that's your boundary issue, not this woman! If they're not, then put whatsapp on silent!

I can’t relate at all. But then I can’t relate to the idea of wanting a vibrating watch to bother me ever, or always having my phone near and on. Mines silent and I wouldn’t have it in my bedroom.
I regularly come down to messages sent at 3/4am by night owl friends, it’s pretty normal.