Someone WhatsApping before 8am

[Justreadingtheforum3]

I've possibly irrational rage about this and rather than put up a passive aggressive rant on Facebook for them to see (which to be fair I would never do, but that's how angry I feel) I want to ask if Iabu..

My first day off work this year. I do turn my notifications off on my phone but because I normally get my work stuff coming through at 6am I have it set to turn off between 10 and 6. My phone obviously doesnt realise its bank holiday and not a normal friday and I didnt think to change it (forgot to).

Had a beer last night and was looking forward to a lie in but got a what'Sapp around 7.45am from someone I know and friendly with but haven't spoken to in over a year. No engagement just a link to a justgiving page for a sponsored run. It kicked off my phone notification which in turn starts my Garmin watch vibrating.

I'm not a person who can sleep once woken up and feel sad that my lie in was ruined (I wont get another over the weekend).

Is this horrendous boundaries? I've currently a sponsorship thing myself but wouldnt dream of messaging people a link. I put it in my newsfeed for people to ignore lol. This bloke has never sponsored me.

They've not said hello, how are you or anything. Just a link to their fundraiser in my WhatsApp at 7.45 on a bank holiday.

I'm prepared to be told I'm unreasonable. I personally wouldn't have minded if it was after 9am.

I also don’t care about links being sent. I’m under no obligation to reply. It’s a split second to glance at my leisure and then ignore it.

I never have my phone in my bedroom at night .
I think it's good practice not to.

We have a family whatsapp chat for family living in various parts of the world...but the person who can be relied upon to send messages at an unreasonable time is someone living in the uk. And it's always something pointless like a picture of what he had for dinner. That's what prompted me to activate do not disturb on my phone. Sadly DH took way longer to put do not disturb on his phone so we still got woken at stupid o clock for a pointless message for a few months after that!

@Justreadingtheforum3

Thanks everyone. Possibly my ages doesnt help I'm 45 so I've kind of always thought contacting people after 10 and before 9 as rude, but guess the world has changed and everything is s lot more 24 hour. Also I have elderly parents too so I genuinely dont mind people contacting me who really need me.

I don't get social media notifications, it's just texts, WhatsApp, email, calls after 6am as that's when I would be working.

I've taken onboard what you've said and it's just one of those things. I think I was grumpy because I'm just overtired. I'm not now. You've given me a reality check.

I am in several WhatsApp groups with friends who now live overseas and often wake up find streams of WhatsApp messages from where they've been chatting during my overnight. I just always have my phone on silent. I also wouldn't really mind an acquaintance sending a random sponsorship message to my WhatsApp. I think those who grew up with and had early adulthood with a landline view mobile phones differently to those who only grew up with mobiles, and treat their mobile in a similar way to a landlines and expect others to do the same ie ringtone always on and messages should be read ASAP. I think millennials/younger treat it more like a laptop?? If that makes sense? If you're not using WhatsApp for work OP I think you can turn off those specific notifications. Anyway well done for accepting YABU, don't let it spoil your weekend

My WhatsApp notifications are permanently switched off as it was a complete pain in the arse with them beeping away all day because of people sending me stuff and wanting a chat when I'm working.
The phone goes on silent from when I go to bed until when I get up in the morning. Every day. End of. I don't have it set to do this automatically as otherwise the silent mode would switch itself off when I might be having in a lie in.

You are completely in control of your phone and because people know this, I think that etiquette of not phoning before 9 or after 10 has gone out of the window. I'm the same age as you and still think like that but others don't. They assume if you don't want to be disturbed, your phone will be off.

However, I do think the person was rude just to send the justgiving link without at least asking how you were first.

@Howmercurialislife

Also it's not always practical for people to have phones/watches on DND. My mum is ill and I need to be contactable at all times.

You can set certain numbers to get through

I think you were being completely ridiculous but you just sound tired. Is there any way you can have a lie in tomorrow or Sunday?

I leave my phone on loud incase there’s an emergency but always turn off notifications for other things and I’ve often been woken by cold callers at ridiculous times.

I would definitely take down your post on Facebook ASAP.

I message people very early sometimes :') tbh, it never occurred to me that people would wear their smart watch to bed or not have their phone permanently on DND. I'm 25 though so maybe it's wrong to assume people who didn't grow up with a phone would have the same tech habits.

I leave messages days before replying sometimes. It's like an email, it's there to reply to eventually but not urgent unless it's my mum/dad/sibling/partner. Sometimes I never reply at all...

Why the hell have you got Whats App notifications linked to your garmin? I'd be permanently looking at my watch it I had those set up with all the bloody groups I'm in. I have those on silent (and muted for the really, really annoying groups - PTA I'm talking about you when the majority of 40 class reps feel the need to comment back that they've forwarded a message to their class) and the only things that link to my watch are calls and texts (and nobody texts me any more which is bliss).

Guarantee if my WhatsApp goes off early it is with the mums chat with someone asking something or the leader of brownies and rainbows. Given she works full time, runs rainbows, brownies, guides, church groups and dose a lot of community work and has 3 kids, I’m guessing 6am is about the only time she has to do these things so it’s never bothered me. I will happily ignore and fall back asleep, if I couldn’t I’d have my phone on silent.

As for the link, was it an automatic link sent to several people? If it’s for some sports event they could well have been up and done a full workout or training session by 6am and not really registered how early it was.

Your response to adjust for a bank holiday is a reasonable one.

Now can you get cats and dogs to recognise bank holidays too?!!!

Just turn your phone off overnight until you're ready to turn it on again. You are being completely U.

Well done for sucking up the YABU's @Justreadingtheforum3 ! I think your more annoyed at yourself for forgetting to change your do not disturb setting... but the content of the message would haves pissed me off too... they ABU for sending that message at that time of day to anyone on a bank holiday weekend.
You'll always remember to change your phone settings in future

I'm a night owl and I have to remind myself not to send random messages to some friends after 10pm as apparently not everyone is always up and wants to chat until after midnight! Those friends are the same people who know not to contact me before 9.00am as even when I'm awake I'm not a morning person so they will get nothing constructive from me in a morning

I see text and Dm including WhatsApp like letters.
They get posted to me and ill read them when I'm ready.
All my messages are on silent but have a screen notification.
Common sense really especially if you are bothered about being disturbed

Besides the point but remember the days before mobile phones!

Land line would ring - if you didn't get to it in time you didn't even know who it was (before 1471)

It's unthinkable now

Some of my friends are very early risers and send out messages at 5.30am. I keep my phone on silent all the time now.
My mother once called my sister at 4am - she forgot she was in a different time zone! My sister didn't let on but when my mother told me 'oh I spoke to your sister this morning' I told her it must have been 4am and she was mortified! Some people just don't stop and think.

I’d reply and say thanks very much for waking me up you fuckwit, then delete and block.
Put your phone on silent at bedtime .

@AlexaShutUp

YABVU.

People don't send whatsapp messages expecting an immediate response, they do it at their own convenience. If you don't want to be disturbed, then change the settings on your phone accordingly.

What? All people?

I think you mean you don't expect an immediate response, although I haven't read all of their Ts and Cs I'd be willing to wager that they are silent on the expectations of the users on how long they wait for a reply

Surely normal people read the message and decide when to respond based on the contents like every other method of contacting someone

What a strange notion.

Going against the grain and saying YANBU. Of course you should have changed your phone settings, and I don’t mind family and close friends messaging me at any time if that’s convenient for them, but it’s completely out of order to spam all your contacts with a link at 7:45am on a bank holiday for this very reason! You have no idea whether all those people would be ok with receiving a message at that time, so it’s incredibly rude.

I’m surprised by all the people saying it’s stupid and ridiculous to sleep with your phone in your bedroom. All the fire safety advice I’ve ever seen stresses the importance of having a charged and working mobile phone in your bedroom with you in case you get trapped by fire and need to dial 999. I do put mine in my bedside drawer to give myself some separation from it but I’d never leave it downstairs.

don't smart bricks have an off button? Or at least a 'leave it somewhere other than the bedroom' function?

turn it off. Most people are inconsiderate fuckwits now (just look at the litter) so you have to fight back. If someone needs you urgently, that's what the landline is for (most millenials think those are uncool so won't have the brains to call them). If you need to wake up there is a great device called an alarm clock.

Grumbling about someone messaging you to a non-silenced phone - YABU
Grumbling about someone sending you a fundraising link with no explanation or contact for over a year - YANBU

That’s the reason I never have electronics in my bedroom. A normal alarm clock is what you need.

Unless DD is on a sleepover or on a Scout camp there is no need for emergencies.

Sending a link without any message with it is rude especially when he has not sponsored you. The time is irrelevant, it's not the middle of the night and most people have their phones on silent over night anyway

@LucieStar

I just always make sure at night before I sleep that my phone is on silent and face down so lighting up with a message doesn't wake me, and Garmin turned off so it doesn't vibrate. People can text at whatever time they like then and it doesn't affect me.

Same here. Phone face down and always on silent. So yeah, it’s a pisser you got woken up, but I’m afraid this one’s on you Op.

Surely the whole point of messaging is that you send and read messages at your own convenience? I go to bed early and nearly always have messages sent after I go to bed. I reply to them as soon as I see them which is usually 5.30/6 am when I get up. It wouldn’t occur to me that the other person wouldn’t have their phone on silent and that I should wait until working hours. I wouldn’t call someone that early but I assume with a message they’ll just read it when it suits them.