Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone WhatsApping before 8am

189 replies

Justreadingtheforum3 · 02/04/2021 10:28

I've possibly irrational rage about this and rather than put up a passive aggressive rant on Facebook for them to see (which to be fair I would never do, but that's how angry I feel) I want to ask if Iabu..

My first day off work this year. I do turn my notifications off on my phone but because I normally get my work stuff coming through at 6am I have it set to turn off between 10 and 6. My phone obviously doesnt realise its bank holiday and not a normal friday and I didnt think to change it (forgot to).

Had a beer last night and was looking forward to a lie in but got a what'Sapp around 7.45am from someone I know and friendly with but haven't spoken to in over a year. No engagement just a link to a justgiving page for a sponsored run. It kicked off my phone notification which in turn starts my Garmin watch vibrating.

I'm not a person who can sleep once woken up and feel sad that my lie in was ruined (I wont get another over the weekend).

Is this horrendous boundaries? I've currently a sponsorship thing myself but wouldnt dream of messaging people a link. I put it in my newsfeed for people to ignore lol. This bloke has never sponsored me.

They've not said hello, how are you or anything. Just a link to their fundraiser in my WhatsApp at 7.45 on a bank holiday.

I'm prepared to be told I'm unreasonable. I personally wouldn't have minded if it was after 9am.

OP posts:
Chooseausernamenow · 02/04/2021 11:43

I don’t see how you can be annoyed at someone else because you don’t have your phone set up correctly.

PeggyHill · 02/04/2021 11:43

You're being ridiculous. It's just a WhatsApp message. They sent it at a time when many people would be awake.

If you were looking forward to a rare lie in so much then why on earth didn't you turn your phone off? You are angry at yourself.

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2021 11:45

Exactly why I leave my phone in kitchen over night

MrsWP · 02/04/2021 11:46

Your fault for having vibrate/alert on.

I have family in the States and we can often drop each other messages while the others are sleeping. So a must for me anyway.

But even so I never want my sleep disturbed unless necessary!

Ontheboardwalk · 02/04/2021 11:46

I hate WhatsApp and have notifications permanently turned off. It annoys me how some can just add you to a group chat and you suddenly start getting loads of random bleeps coming through

Justreadingtheforum3 don’t forget to change your settings for Easter Monday!

therocinante · 02/04/2021 11:47

YABU. Set your phone not to vibrate. The phone is there for your convenience - so use it in a way that it doesn't become inconvenient to you when others use their own phones in a way that is convenient to them.

(I'm not sure how in 2021 the merits of Do Not Disturb are still not widely known tbh)

MarshaBradyo · 02/04/2021 11:48

How annoying

But there’s no way I’d have WhatsApp alerts on too intrusive

I hope

Devlesko · 02/04/2021 11:48

I'd never know until I'd got up and looked at my phone, turn notifications off, I couldn't cope with pings this early either.

ChronicallyCurious · 02/04/2021 11:48

YABU, I message people at any time and my friends vice versa.

Obviously I wouldn’t call but a message is a message that can be replied to at any time of your choosing and convenience. If I messaged that early I wouldn’t expect a reply straight away but also wouldn’t think anything of picking that time. Completely up to you to sort out your phone if you don’t want to be disturbed.

BornOnTwelthNight · 02/04/2021 11:49

This reminds me of a family member. Wouldn’t turn off notifications or silence phone. Posted a load of pics on insta and another family member dared to like the pics.
Family member 1 had a go at family member 2 for liking said pics and waking her up because her phone kept going off. (This was the middle of the day and not early morning!) family member 1 then blocked number 2 as it was all her fault apparently then complained to me, “she kept liking my pictures”

My response was “turn your bloody notifications off, silence it or leave it in another room”

Sorry op you can’t take your phone to bed with you and then complain you get woken up by it if it’s switched on. Your phone is your responsibility to make sure it can’t disturb you.

LaBellina · 02/04/2021 11:49

YABU, sorry.
Just switch your phone to silent mode.

notanothersaveusername · 02/04/2021 11:49

your phone, your responsibility

AdobeWanKenobi · 02/04/2021 11:50

Lady Gaga got an entire song out of unwanted phone calls. Never did understand why she didn't just switch it off any carry on clubbing.

reluctantbrit · 02/04/2021 11:50

@FirewomanSam

I was once in a hotel where the firealarm went at 3.30am, it was an original Tudor building so it could have been a disaster. That was at a time where mobiles weren't the norm and lots of people didn't have one.

I was more interested in throwing on some clothes and grapping my purse than phoning 999 first.

Now, I would be more interested in getting myself, husband and my daughter out of the house than phoning anyone first.

SmudgeButt · 02/04/2021 11:52

YANBU.

Smartphones have made people forget basic manners. No one with half a brain would ring you at such an early time expecting you to answer the phone. And in the past the mere act of ringing would signal that there's an emergency. (I'm talking pre mobiles - the stone age I know!)

Because people now expect that everyone has all the up to date tech that allows them to automatically have things turn off during the night they don't stop to think about what they are doing at certain times of day. It's like expecting everyone of us would love to have all the different store/website apps on our phones.

Worst for me was when work was testing it's emergency messaging for business continuity and something went wrong with the system. My land line started ringing at 7 pm (which was fine) and then continued every 15 minutes until after midnight. This was at a time when my dad was very ill so late night calls were expected to mean something important.

FirewomanSam · 02/04/2021 11:53

reluctantbrit of course! But the point is that if you get trapped in your bedroom (I.e. if the flames are in your hallway) you need a way to call 999.

AlwaysLatte · 02/04/2021 11:55

I always assume when I send a message that people will turn off notifications or sound if it's an inconvenient time. But also I would never think that 7.45 was actually early!

lightattheendofthetunnel2021 · 02/04/2021 11:55

Totally understand you need a break. I'm a bit shocked to hear how many people have their mobile phones in their bedrooms - buy an alarm clock and leave mobiles on charge in another area of your home.

MollyButton · 02/04/2021 11:57

WhatsApp for me is used for "social" things so never has notifications on. My phone is pretty much permanently on silent (I am so down with the kids, as I'm over the age for which this is supposed to be true). My active watch did used to vibrate to alert me, but I don't wear that as much.
And even my work phone will be silent today as its one of the days we are "not allowed to work".

AcornAutumn · 02/04/2021 11:58

Same age and same issue! It's a faff - unless I'm doing it wrong - but my phone is set so that only phone calls can make a noise when I'm asleep.

For me, that just means texts are off because no one is going to text for an emergency involving mum. The other stuff you mention, I don't have.

MarshaBradyo · 02/04/2021 11:58

@FirewomanSam

reluctantbrit of course! But the point is that if you get trapped in your bedroom (I.e. if the flames are in your hallway) you need a way to call 999.
Yes agree I know chances are tiny but emergencies are why I keep phone in bedroom
BlueSkyBlinking · 02/04/2021 12:01

I wouldn’t message someone before 9 unless I needed to (DD morning handover or something). It’s the same as not phoning people before 9. Why does everyone expect everyone else to be contactable any time day or night. I miss the days when you could go about your life for hours on end without someone expecting an answer to something, sound notifications or no.
Call me AntisocialAnnie.

BluebellsGreenbells · 02/04/2021 12:03

I wonder how many people on this thread think it’s ok to message people at all hours?

I wouldn’t ring anyone before 9 or message unless urgent - same for evenings.

It’s rude and quite frankly an invasion!

My works do it too with random crap and not urgent or even worthy of a report on group chat.

Turning the alarm off is irrelevant.

Jayne35 · 02/04/2021 12:05

My phone is my alarm but it’s set to silent so no calls, messages or notifications, I just check those when I get up. We have a house phone for emergencies which both our parents use to call us.

This morning I was hoping for a lie in but my neighbour started smashing concrete at 7.30 this morning. To be fair the only day noise really irritates me is Sunday. DH is working on something outside at the moment but won’t start making noise until 10 on sat and 11 on sun.

I wouldn’t be too annoyed at your friend OP, some people are early birds and don’t think anything of sending messages. Put phone on silent.

IntermittentParps · 02/04/2021 12:06

Your responsibility, I'm afraid.
Although I do agree that 'sensible' social hours for this sort of thing are not before 9am and not after 10pm (I'm your age!). Unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to think or care about boundaries, though, so you have to be the sensible one.