Kids peeing in public AIBU

[yasmin0147]

Just wondering If I was being unreasonable or not, bit of back story, when I am waiting outside the preschool pretty much every morning, a child needs the loo and the mums let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in) this is making me really angry for some reason, I won’t let my son do this at all, and make him wait.
Am I being unreasonable?
How I see it is you wouldn’t be allowed to pee like that as an adult and it’s a bad habit to teach your kids.
Imagine them doing that when they are a bit older, they could get into trouble.

YABA- they are kids, get over it

YANBA- it’s a bad thing to teach your kids because they aren’t actually allowed to do that when they get older.

Appalling. This will just encourage rats. Parents haven't been educated so their offspring aren't either.

@wildchild554 he might need desmopressin which is the artificial version of the hormone that we naturally produce to stop us weeing at night. The ERIC website is very good and I recommend phoning their helpline. My youngest still wets himself and isn’t dry and night, if I didn’t let him have wees outside he would just be wet, he cannot hold it because he has continence problems.

wildchild554 I am so sorry to hear about your son's problems. With my ward I just used the pull up nappy pants as I felt uninterrupted sleep was more important for her than waking her to go to the toilet and changing the bed. Some would disagree but I wanted to be relaxed about the problem rather than stress her.

In your place I might take one or both children out to play/walk get enough exercise to make them tired now the light evenings are here. Also blackout curtains.Exposure to another child your son likes and looks up to and who is trained might help. The promise of a special treat only available when dry might help. No doubt you reduce liquid towards bed time. Perhaps his bladder is small.

My ward's adult half sister was highly critical of us both but I shrugged it off.

I do wonder if there is a special trigger nerve and you just have to wait

for it to start working. I expect you've tried the ping pong ball and a small prize for each time he hits it.

Perhaps the paediatrician can come up with the latest thinking on the problem.

I wish you lots of luck.

Wendy

@tommyhoundmum he's never slept all his life the most he's ever got is 4-5 hours, as a baby he woke every hour, possibly to do with his autism but don't know for sure. For the sleep issue the next step is probably going to be melatonin but as thats to get him to sleep, it may not work well as he also wakes in the night and it doesnt help with that part. I have put everything in place I been told too, dull sensory lights to help with his fear of the dark but calming, left on all night as told to, windows blacked out, sleep trainer clock which kept him in bed for about 3 weeks but not asleep, no screen time an hour before bed and nothing stimulating tried wearing him out but just wears me and his brother out lol, no drinks 2 hours before but enough during the day, making sure he goes to toilet before bed, when I go to bed, he's normally still awake, tried rewards but he's yet to earn them.
So yep I think peadiatricians only option now.

@tommyhoundmum and thankyou :)

Not as a daily occurrence as children are very impressionable and that ‘routine’ won’t serve them well when they grow up. If they are caught out fair enough but it just looks lazy if it’s all the time.

[quote wildchild554]@tommyhoundmum my sons 8 and regularly wets the bed, has to be taken to the toilet at home, he jigs about instead of just going and has accidents still. Have followed all advice given but getting no where. Thats why I have asked for him to be reffered back to peadiatrician for that and the fact he doesnt sleep :/ But also don't know whats normal as both my children have special needs and makes it dfficult to work out when more intervention is needed. It's the daytime issues that worry more. He already gets picked on for his reigns and ear defenders.[/quote]
Poor little lad.

If he jigs about when he wants a wee, surely that means he knows he has to go?

I don't know how you cope with him not sleeping, you're a great mum.

However this thread is not about special needs children but about parents taking their little ones to have a wee behind the bins if they are taken short in the school queue.

As has been said, that will encourage rats. It also sets a precedent.

In the 'olden days', there were toilet blocks outside near the playground at schools. Would that there were now.

@jessstan2 precovid they would probably have had access to toilets too as they I know they did at my sons school and friends school but now they cant do that.

Boys
🙄🤷🏽‍♂️🙏👏

[quote wildchild554]@jessstan2 precovid they would probably have had access to toilets too as they I know they did at my sons school and friends school but now they cant do that.[/quote]
That is a damn shame.

The sooner this blooming pandemic is over or more under control, the better. It hasn't really affected me much but I am very aware of how difficult it has been for others.

Boys
🙄🤷🏽‍♂️🙏👏

Would you mind translating this in English, please?

*13:32SleepingStandingUp
lavenderlou
If the school run is so long that a young child cannot reasonably be expected to wait then the parent should carry a potty or other container. There is no need to go behind a public bin.

Genuine qn but what do you do with the wee? So you go behind the bin, he sits on the potty but you've then got a pot of pee. You can't v well get back in line with it cos it's smells. Funnel and bottle??*

Take along a nappy, nappy bag and wipes. Turn the nappy inside out (i.e. absorbent side) and press it against potty full of wee until all soaked up. Wrap, bag, wipe potty, throw it all back into plastic bag, antibac hands. Not great but slightly more sanitary than dumping it. All good until they do an unplanned poo

Sorry, bold fail

We have an emergency resealable sandwich bag for poos in that situation. Like for a dog. Not the best, but better than leaving a turd on the street!

Since this topic has expanded somewhat from the original scenario, and bladder issues have been something of a thing for me and DD’s I’ll elaborate on my position.

1. Anywhere that is built up it’s just grim unless it’s an emergency and the alternative is that your child has an accident.

1. In the countryside/woodland where no one can see I don’t have a problem with it.

1. If you’re going on a journey and know there is a real risk of accidents eg driving on a motorway with a child who might need to wee at short notice and you’re unlikely to make it to the next service station, offer them a Pull-Up.

My DD’s were bedwetters quite late (until we discovered the miracle cure of cutting out squashes, blackcurrent juice and anything with artificial sweeteners in) and also had issues holding it in the daytime for anything more than a few minutes when urgency struck.

When they were younger (until around age 7 or 8) if we were going on a motorway journey or somewhere there was a risk of not being able to get to a toilet in time, I would let them wear their DryNites pants.

This was not to be lazy or avoid stops, but to be there in case of accidents. Most of the time they weren’t needed as they would ask to stop and we would find a services in time, but there were a handful of times for each of them when wearing them prevented the need for a change of clothes and having to clean the car seats, and also a great deal of upset. Stopping by the side of the motorway was just too exposed and dangerous.

@PerspicaciousGreen you made me lol, I’m sleep deprived due to Interstitial Cystitis and thought you said you had a ziplock bag for wees and didn’t understand how you got the dog to pee in a bag 😂

[quote AutomaticMoon]@PerspicaciousGreen you made me lol, I’m sleep deprived due to Interstitial Cystitis and thought you said you had a ziplock bag for wees and didn’t understand how you got the dog to pee in a bag 😂[/quote]
Haha, what an image! We haven't had to use the bag yet, but it's always reassuring to know it's there!