Kids peeing in public AIBU

[yasmin0147]

Just wondering If I was being unreasonable or not, bit of back story, when I am waiting outside the preschool pretty much every morning, a child needs the loo and the mums let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in) this is making me really angry for some reason, I won’t let my son do this at all, and make him wait.
Am I being unreasonable?
How I see it is you wouldn’t be allowed to pee like that as an adult and it’s a bad habit to teach your kids.
Imagine them doing that when they are a bit older, they could get into trouble.

YABA- they are kids, get over it

YANBA- it’s a bad thing to teach your kids because they aren’t actually allowed to do that when they get older.

@SleepingStandingUp would you let her wee in the street though? And up until what age? I can’t recall ever seeing a woman or female child wee in the street, but seen plenty of men and boys.

I agree with you. Unless it’s a dire emergency, it’s just really poor form to teach a child that it’s acceptable to wee outside whenever and wherever they want. Not on. Those bins must stink, how unpleasant must that be for the binmen/school janitor to deal with. Why is everyone so bloody selfish these days?!

By pre-school they should be able to hold it for a short time. Surely they can go before leaving the house? My toddler has wee’d plenty of times outdoors but only in the countryside and away from others, when desperate.

I ink it depends.
If the child is pre school age, they are not likely to be able to "hold" for long.
On the other hand, they might well see it as a game and then moorland more of them ask to go while in the line so they get the fun of peeing behind a bin.
I would raise a concern with the pre school and see if they can offer access to a toilet. If it's a game for some of them, they will soon get bored if they get taken to a toilet instead!

let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in)

YANBU. There’s a massive difference between being caught short on a long walk or finding a public toilet closed - both hopefully rare occasions - to allowing a child to regularly wee on the floor next to a queue of people!

I’d ask nursery to put up a sign.

It's disgusting, and adults doing it is even worse.

[quote Elsiebear90]@SleepingStandingUp would you let her wee in the street though? And up until what age? I can’t recall ever seeing a woman or female child wee in the street, but seen plenty of men and boys.[/quote]
Exactly

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
Urine is bad for plants and landfill too.

A one off is fine with newly potty trained children but if it’s everyday it’s a habit and I wouldn’t appreciate that either.

[quote Elsiebear90]@SleepingStandingUp would you let her wee in the street though? And up until what age? I can’t recall ever seeing a woman or female child wee in the street, but seen plenty of men and boys.[/quote]
Well we use the bush or the corner where it's great and bushes, because the wee sinks into the soil and there's a degree of privacy. I wouldn't let either stand in the street and urinate. We Def stopped down country lanes as kids for a pee when we were in the car

What I wouldn't do, which is what it sounds like here, is embed a habit that they pee at that place. If its too long there to hold then they need to speak to school about him going in for a wee

In an emergency, it would be fine, but it's not good to make a habit of it, for a variety of reasons. I'm not sure what you can do about other parents' choices, though. If you say anything, you'll probably only annoy them.

I'm all for al fresco wees and indeed poos if necessary (which I bag like dog poo before anyone jumps down my throat) but actually this does sound a bit grim. You really need soil for the wee to drain into. My just turned 2 year old holds it every day for the 1.5 hour walk to school and back. I can't imagine all these kids are newly potty trained and therefore that desperate?!

Our school just recently sent out an email asking parents to stop letting their children pee in the playground and to use the school toilets.

@lavenderlou

If the school run is so long that a young child cannot reasonably be expected to wait then the parent should carry a potty or other container. There is no need to go behind a public bin.

Genuine qn but what do you do with the wee? So you go behind the bin, he sits on the potty but you've then got a pot of pee. You can't v well get back in line with it cos it's smells. Funnel and bottle??

What you are describing is grim. Surely they could use the preschool or take a potty or something. Peeing behind the bins whilst you are all queuing is just gross.

Having said that I’ve no issue with outside peeing in general. My little ones go at home before we leave but often need after few hours playing in park or on country walk they need and there are no facilities for miles. When newly potty trained I did lug a potty around but they are too big for that now so off they go behind a far away tree out the way for a quick pee rather than holding in (risking them being ill) or wetting themselves. DH has gone out in countryside as well when we’ve been out all day and no facilities.

None of us however have ever peed in the middle of a street! There is a difference between urban and rural outdoor peeing surely - mainly lack of facilities and ability to pee discretely and away from other people or where others might step etc.

I would let my child pee down a drain, behind a tree etc but not behind bins. People have to clean that up. Grim

[quote deragod]@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
Urine is bad for plants and landfill too.[/quote]
Is it? Better all hold it in then. I wonder what people did in pre-industrial times when we were working in the fields. Yet there were a lot more plant species and wildlife then. I think someone might be taking the piss

I was mortified when my friend let her son pee next to a bin in a theme park .. the wee trickled out into the path so people were walking in it ... now I'm a country girl and don't mind a hedge wee bit when it impacts other people and their shoes it's grim! Plus they are potentially showing their genitals in public which I would discourage my child from doing !

@SleepingStandingUp I don’t think people are complaining about the occasional wee in the countryside or in a private wooded/grassy area when caught short, people are complaining that there is a double standard whereby it’s acceptable for men and boys to openly urinate in public areas and streets (like the situation OP describes) with people on this thread saying they allow/encourage their sons to because they apparently cannot control their bladders yet. However, girls are expected to be able to control their bladders from a very early age.

@Graciebobcat

Even industrial times were bad. There are still places, in 2021, were lack of infrastructure causes huge problems.
If you are brave you can always do a little experiment in own garden.

YANBU op and to all the posters saying it's find they let their dc do it in the park/woods, there is a big difference between doing it there and outside a building with people everywhere.

''Have you ever left your house? Men pee behind wheelie bins, against walls etc etc all the time.

I have frequently peed behind bushes and walls when I cannot find a loo.

Needs must and all that.''

yea but the parents should get the kids to do it before leaving the house, how long are they outside the building? At most 15 mins, bit of a difference than people being out for hours and a good bit from home.

Yanba.
If it's pretty much daily it's become a habit rather than a need.
I work in preschool and we had a similar issue a while back. It stank, we had to clean it daily.
We had a word with the parent telling them it really wasn't acceptable and to bring the child in to use the toilet if it was an actual emergency.
Miraculously the child learned to control his bladder.

I've no issue with emergency wees in a quiet corner where it will drain away, be unlikely to smell and has a reasonable degree of privacy. I have known little girls do wild wees, it's not exclusive to boys. It's less obvious when females do it as they tend to find more secluded spots.

On to objects like bins that people handle, on concrete or places where it won't wash away and letting it be a habit is grim.

[quote Elsiebear90]@SleepingStandingUp I don’t think people are complaining about the occasional wee in the countryside or in a private wooded/grassy area when caught short, people are complaining that there is a double standard whereby it’s acceptable for men and boys to openly urinate in public areas and streets (like the situation OP describes) with people on this thread saying they allow/encourage their sons to because they apparently cannot control their bladders yet. However, girls are expected to be able to control their bladders from a very early age.[/quote]
some people are complaining.
The more rational amongst us do not ‘encourage’ our sons to pee outdoors while expecting our daughters not to. We go with the flow! In my experience small boys are more likely than small girls to need alfresco wees. I would hate to distress a child by refusing and then they wet themselves. These are preschoolers, remember.