Kids peeing in public AIBU

[yasmin0147]

Just wondering If I was being unreasonable or not, bit of back story, when I am waiting outside the preschool pretty much every morning, a child needs the loo and the mums let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in) this is making me really angry for some reason, I won’t let my son do this at all, and make him wait.
Am I being unreasonable?
How I see it is you wouldn’t be allowed to pee like that as an adult and it’s a bad habit to teach your kids.
Imagine them doing that when they are a bit older, they could get into trouble.

YABA- they are kids, get over it

YANBA- it’s a bad thing to teach your kids because they aren’t actually allowed to do that when they get older.

@BogRollBOGOF

I've no issue with emergency wees in a quiet corner where it will drain away, be unlikely to smell and has a reasonable degree of privacy. I have known little girls do wild wees, it's not exclusive to boys. It's less obvious when females do it as they tend to find more secluded spots.

On to objects like bins that people handle, on concrete or places where it won't wash away and letting it be a habit is grim.

I doubt they are pissing on the bin lids or handles!

It’s always boys who couldn’t possibly hold it in. The girls seem to all manage fine. Just complain - mention safeguarding of kids and you can see them naked or something - that should prompt them to put signs up.

Honestly as I said upthread, it's the novelty of doing it after one does. It's probably more of a game/fun then them actually needing the toilet now.
Nursery need to strongly discourage this.

Yep, it’s grim. If girls are expected to hold it, why can’t boys?

Worst still, I saw a woman letting her son poo in the park. What really annoyed me though was she didn’t pick up after him, like you’d expect a dog owner to do. Really revolting.

Peeing down drains isn't ideal either as the pee goes into the water courses with the rainwater.

Sewers are different.

In my experience small boys are more likely than small girls to need alfresco wees

Possibly because for girls it’s much more of a faff, and far messier to be squatting and trying not to wee on your feet/legs/shoes/clothes.

Rather than a feature of boys physiology that means they need to wee outside when girls don’t.

It’s also not as socially acceptable to see a girl squatting to pee outside.

Boys pee outside because they can, and it isn’t as discouraged as it is for girls.

We Def stopped down country lanes as kids for a pee when we were in the car

Only as kids? I've had to do it several times as an adult!

I used to do home visits and my patch included a large rural area. I'd always schedule my visits so that at strategic points, I'd be visiting a house that was clean enough to use the bog.

If the client at my scheduled piss-stop had forgotten the appointment and gone out, it had to be a field gateway down a lane or a 10-mile detour to a public toilet.

There were a couple of villages where I could pop into the pub if it was open but I once got summoned by my manager to explain why I was leaving the King's Head* at 12.30 pm on a work day. Apparently, someone from work had seen me coming out and told the chief exec.

I told my manager to tell him I'd popped in for a piss, and rather hope she used those exact words.

*not the real name of the pub, which is so unusual it could be outing.

I don't think you are unreasonable. They will be inside in a few minutes and then use the loss. It will smell behind the bins and apparently urine encourages vermin.

I'd understand if it was a one off and very urgent but this sounds like a regular occurrence. Perhaps have a word with the teacher or head of pre-school and suggests she sends out a memo to all parents that this is not acceptable.

Nasty isn't it my partner lets his kids wee wherever they like and I don't let mine do it, because they're not 3 or younger and can hold it.

I get that little kids sometimes need to go and can't hold it in but to wee beside the bins you all stand near, and every day?! Too far.

YABU He's a pre schooler and he needs the toilet and she's trying to let him do it discretely. It's not like she's letting him wee on your shoes is it?
I take it you feel the same about people letting their dogs wee on the street/in park etc? Or is it just small children? Because dogs wee everywhere!
And just because he's doing it at age 3 doesn't mean it will teach him bad habits for when he is older, that is ridiculous, he won't even remember the year when he is probably newly potty trained. I think you know that, you just want an excuse to be judgemental.

I really hate any post that includes the phrase 'my children can....so all should' whoop de do. Not all children are the same, where that's continence, sleep, food, reading etc.I think most of us are agreed that repeatedly, lots of them going in the same place is unnecessary so this specific issue needs addressing but we should not be generalising about what all kids ought to be able to do.

I really hate any post that includes the phrase 'my children can....so all should' whoop de do. Not all children are the same, where that's continence, sleep, food, reading etc.I think most of us are agreed that repeatedly, lots of them going in the same place is unnecessary so this specific issue needs addressing but we should not be generalising about what all kids ought to be able to do

We can generalise here though, that most people do not need to pee in the street, and can hold it until they find a toilet or more appropriate place.

Yes children may reach that milestone at different ages, so occasionally a small child may need to nip behind a bin in an emergency.

It’s not generalising, it’s a fact that once most people are reasonably reliably toilet trained they don’t pee in the street, or it would be perfectly normal to see both women and men nipping off for a pee.

I'm not talking about adults, I'm talking about children and the massive variations in what they can do

@Knitterbabe

I do think small boys are less able to hold it, certainly the case, as I said, with my boy/girl twins. I don’t believe its because we expect girls to hold it for modesty or whatever. If small ds had a drink with his breakfast, plus milk on his cereal, he would need a couple of wees before Kindergarten.

Actually, males have stronger bladders than females and they are larger too so can hold their wee longer

It doesn't really matter whether 'most' adults can hold in their wee does it? OP is referring to one person, a small pre-schooler. Maybe he can't hold it and the mum is worried he will be embarrassed or ashamed if he had an accident.

There are plenty of adults with incontinence issues too who could do with a bit less judgement from people so they don't have to feel ashamed and stuck at home incase they can't find a loo.
I would love to know how many of the YANBU have the same issue with dogs. I think it's disgusting to see a dog cock it's leg and piss in the street, often on people's fences, yet adults with genuine medical issues and small children with bladder control issues get criticised for doing it discretely.

t doesn't really matter whether 'most' adults can hold in their wee does it? OP is referring to one person, a small pre-schooler. Maybe he can't hold it and the mum is worried he will be embarrassed or ashamed if he had an accident

O/p refers to boys, plural. She doesn’t say it’s always the same child, which may be more understandable.

They way the o/p reads to me is it’s a bit of fun for the boys, one decides they need a wee, the others all join in, and the mums allow it. It’s every morning, multiple boys, so not a one off.

it’s acceptable for men and boys to openly urinate in public areas and streets (like the situation OP describes) nobody thinks it's acceptable for men to openly urinate in public. The kid in question, who is doing it behind the bins so not in public, wouldn't get a different response if they were the opposite sex. It would still either be ok cos they're little or it would be disgusting because the pee will need to be washed off / will touch their shoes

Waaaah my DD is four and has a medical condition that makes her need to wee urgently. I do let her wee al fresco because I’m not sure what the alternative is, especially as anywhere with a loo is closed at the moment.

Now I know from this thread how much people are judging us

In an emergency its fine otherwise its really not on.

Oh, fgs, it's just children needing a wee in the absence of a toilet. They aren't doing it anywhere that dogs don't and it's preferable to them having an accident.

Ok it's different children doing it. So basically occasionally different children get caught short and have to go behind the bins. It's not as if a child is using it as a substitute toilet.
The 'behind the bins' makes it sound disgusting but actually in towns where there is no parkland around, the bins would possibly be the only discrete place to go. I find it odd that someone would get worked up about this. Poor kids.

Just because boys may not be able.to hold it for as long does not mean they need to be in nappies until they can. They need access to a loo that is all. If the pre School does not allow them in that is why they are resorting to this.

I do not believe that any mother who had been through any form of enueresis referral would not be sympathetic to any parent or child in this situation and they would be well aware that keeping a child in nappies is a massive no no.

If the boys are doing this out of habit, it's a bit gross. But I'm not sure what "choice" a parent has when faced with a small child saying they need to go. Either let them go or accept there's going to be wet pants a few minutes later, surely? This is why I didn't hurry my DC to potty train and I let them wear a pull-up on long trips out of the house until well after 3yo - much better than the stress and worry of accidents because (as often happens) there isn't a convenient public toilet nearby.

Just carry on doing your best for your dc Rainallnight and stick the judges in a disregard box, they are no one to you.