Kids peeing in public AIBU

[yasmin0147]

Just wondering If I was being unreasonable or not, bit of back story, when I am waiting outside the preschool pretty much every morning, a child needs the loo and the mums let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in) this is making me really angry for some reason, I won’t let my son do this at all, and make him wait.
Am I being unreasonable?
How I see it is you wouldn’t be allowed to pee like that as an adult and it’s a bad habit to teach your kids.
Imagine them doing that when they are a bit older, they could get into trouble.

YABA- they are kids, get over it

YANBA- it’s a bad thing to teach your kids because they aren’t actually allowed to do that when they get older.

@bluebluezoo

Small children can't just hold it it's not possible

Yet it appears the girls are holding it, it’s just the boys that are being allowed to pee behind bins

You do realise that boys often take longer to create the hormone that allows for this control and that is why more boys are referred to the enuresis clinics and that such referrals will not happen until that child is 7.

So enough with the faces.

YABU. My school run can sometimes take over an hour, my youngest sometimes needs a wee during this time and due to Covid isn’t allowed in the school. He will pee behind a bush. It’s not as simple as pop home.

@SeasonFinale I didn't realise that and anecdotally it rings true for toilet training ages in children I know.

I'm fine with all small children peeing outside, girls or boys, if the alternative is that they wet themselves. However, I would not be encouraging my small DC to pee behind the bins or next to buildings (but would try to find a park or carry a travel potty if it's a regular occurrence).

If they are outside a preschool /school why don't they ask if the child can use the toilet? That's what I've always done. On a walk or in a park with no toilets nearby I've let my son wee in a bush if he's desperate and can't make it home.

@Coulddowithanap

If they are outside a preschool /school why don't they ask if the child can use the toilet? That's what I've always done. On a walk or in a park with no toilets nearby I've let my son wee in a bush if he's desperate and can't make it home.

Covid regs?

If the school run is so long that a young child cannot reasonably be expected to wait then the parent should carry a potty or other container. There is no need to go behind a public bin.

You do realise that boys often take longer to create the hormone that allows for this control and that is why more boys are referred to the enuresis clinics and that such referrals will not happen until that child is 7

Yes I do.

How does that translate to needing to pee in public?

If boys potty train later, then girls would still need to pee behind bins, just at a younger age.
Boys would be in nappies longer.

I don’t see how training at a later age increases the need to pee in public.

I think it’s far more likely that it’s discouraged in girls as the mechanics make it more difficult, more likely to need help, to wet clothes etc.

Mine trained late. i know all about the hormones and enuresis clinics. I kept them in nappies longer until they were able to hold it long enough not to need to pee in public places.

One of my children has medical continence issues so we often have to stop for wees, but always somewhere they can’t be seen. I would never let them do it waiting outside school. I always make them go before we leave the house. You can’t always assume everyone is dry. However it sounds like with this child it has developed into a habit.

YANBU, it’s not acceptable to urinate behind bins or on streets or paths etc., first of all it’s a public offence, secondly it always seems to be men and boys that do this. Not sure why girls are expected to control their bladder from any early but boys and men aren’t? Weeing discreetly in the woods or parks when you’re caught short is fair enough, but urinating on the streets is disgusting as it stinks.

@drpet49

* I have frequently peed behind bushes and walls when I cannot find a loo.*

I have never done this. Ever.

Have you never gone for a really long walk? Before I got arthritis, I often used to go for walks for several hours. I doubt if many people can go 6 hours without a pee, consequently, I've squatted behind many a tree or bush.

You don't find many public toilets in open countryside.

My goodness hinny who pissed on your chips.

No, females are not biologically designed to hold for longer. Opposite actually. We have smaller bladders (men have their reproductive systems outside) and our bodies filter more water quicker (due to aour body build).
Women all over the world are know to hold urine for too long which cause bacterial infections and may lead to other serous conditions.

In my experience it's not about the need but entitlement.

It's grim. We've always had a portable urinal thing since my son was little, perfect for this situation and long car journeys. I've managed to go my whole adult life without peeing in public and really hate seeing it.

I do try really hard to get my DS to wait but he is bloody dreadful. You ask him to go before leaving the house - he says he can't/doesnt need to. 15 minutes later he's apparently bursting. I've had to let him go in the park 3 or 4 times this term because I can see he's on the point of wetting himself if I don't.

I've tried everything to get him to recognise earlier that he needs to go.

I kept them in nappies longer until they were able to hold it long enough

Good for you but that's quite disgusting imho, making an older child wet themself (just because its into a nappy doesnt change what that is) when they are old enough to communicate that they need to go. My four year old has been potty trained for 2 years and would be horrified by wearing a nappy!

What's so bad about weeing into a bush? We dont need any more nappies in landfill.

Making a regular thing of it in the same place is odd, as it might happen occasionally but then you come up with strategies to deal with it.

DDs occasionally couldn't make it would have to go behind a tree or something. It's fine generally for small children but it is odd to do it every day in the same place. A bit common, frankly.

A one-off is ok but not regularly as pp's said.

Why can't they go at home and then once they get into pre-school rather than in the few minutes they are waiting outside?

I’ve only ever seen drunk men peeing in public (usually late at night); I wouldn’t say all the time clearly never been near a running race then. Massive queues for the portaloos, nearly all women and all the men going off to find bushes (although there are porta-urinals too which are quite useful at keeping the queues down).

My four year old has been potty trained for 2 years and would be horrified by wearing a nappy

Well of course, they've been potty trained for two years.

If you haven't been potty trained reliably yet - not really an issue.

God, when I did the marathon, there were men pissing everywhere. It was a huge advantage for the men; they could just go slightly off the course and piss, whereas the women had to wait in queues for a portaloo.

Sometimes DS can't manage the mile walk home. He has a wee at the end of the school day but with the waiting for collection etc he just can't always hold on. He's been out of nappies since Jan and obv were pushing him to hold on.

However we have done bush wees because o don't see how peeing in the bush or on the grass is worse than a trickle of pee along the pavement as it runs down his leg.

YANBU

Peeing in public is disgusting and as pp have said it’s always boys and men doing it.
As a woman I have a smaller bladder then a man still somehow apart from having to wee in the woods once years ago becausethere was no public toilet available, I have managed to never pee in public. It’s male entitlement to pee wherever you want unlike women who learn from a young age to find a toilet / put up with it.

@LaBellina

YANBU

Peeing in public is disgusting and as pp have said it’s always boys and men doing it.
As a woman I have a smaller bladder then a man still somehow apart from having to wee in the woods once years ago becausethere was no public toilet available, I have managed to never pee in public. It’s male entitlement to pee wherever you want unlike women who learn from a young age to find a toilet / put up with it.

If I had a daughter who'd been out of nappies 3 months I'd let her pee in the trees too. I don't make my daughter wet herself whilst encouraging my son to fling his wee around the streets

OP I agree with you. It isn't acceptable and shouldn't be put up with. What about people who have to move those bins and clean up the area by them?

To those people saying their child just can't cope with the walk to/from school without having a wee, or the school run takes so long - surely if you get the child to go for a wee just before leaving the house and just before leaving school, check that they've done it and send them back into school for the loo if they haven't, then you tell them there will be no stops for the loo as there ISN'T a toilet en route, they should be able to hold it in for the 20 minutes they're away from facilities? Or even - heaven forbid - an hour? School age children without medical issues should be able to be away from a toilet for an hour without it being a problem and should get into the habit of being able to cope with it.

If my child was doing this because the school run was taking so long and really did need the loo every time, I'd be seeking medical advice and changing the order I dropped children off etc, to ensure the youngest wasn't getting into such a state (assuming no one actually lives an hour away from their child's primary school).

Aliloandabanana

The issue comes where schools and preschools wont let younger children (ie those not on roll) on to the premises to use the toilet. It's not unusual to have say a 20 or 30 min walk there, so allowing for a few minutes wait, the round trip for pick up can be 1 hour plus for a younger sibling.