Kids peeing in public AIBU

[yasmin0147]

Just wondering If I was being unreasonable or not, bit of back story, when I am waiting outside the preschool pretty much every morning, a child needs the loo and the mums let their boys pee behind the bins (that we all stand next to in line before the kids go in) this is making me really angry for some reason, I won’t let my son do this at all, and make him wait.
Am I being unreasonable?
How I see it is you wouldn’t be allowed to pee like that as an adult and it’s a bad habit to teach your kids.
Imagine them doing that when they are a bit older, they could get into trouble.

YABA- they are kids, get over it

YANBA- it’s a bad thing to teach your kids because they aren’t actually allowed to do that when they get older.

If it’s an emergency it’s fine but the trouble is if a child see someone else go it often makes them need to go.
Not pleasant when the sun comes out 🤢

@Upamountain43

Have you ever left your house? Men pee behind wheelie bins, against walls etc etc all the time.

I have frequently peed behind bushes and walls when I cannot find a loo.

Needs must and all that.

Funny how girls & women learn to manage the elimination needs without resorting to this isn't it?

Men pee behind wheelie bins etc and thats why these places always stink of piss! I used to bloody hate when sports matches were on in my city because the city would be covered in piss.

Last year I went to a zoo and a parent just pulled their pants down and let the child piss by the path, the toilets were all of a 2 minute walk away! Its just plain entitlement to think their child's need top everything else.

If a child is about to wet themselves then of course its better to wee somewhere outside, or if you are in the country. But as a regular occurance pissing on someone's bins is not on.

Also tbh dogs peeing and shitting everywhere is also unpleasant but unfortunately dogs can't use a toilet

Lots of judgment about what parents and children should do or should be able to do.

Needs more anger about the actual problem which is that the scarcity of public toilets in this country is an outrage.

Doesn't just affect children too either. It's hard for adults with medical conditions or just small bladders. And really it's a problem that affects women the most!

I also hate when your at a beach and the parents let their child pee in the sand. All I can imagine is in 5 minutes some other child is going to come and build a sandcastle there! Its never in a secret location its always in the middle of the beach

A lot of it is laziness. Unfortunately when you have a child regular walks to the public toilet are a necessity

Bit off thread but reminds me of an incident that happened a couple of years ago. Ds and I were walking up to a covered bus stop on a main road. Approaching it, we could see what looked like water running from the bottom of the bus stop across the pavement and into the road. Reaching the bus stop we found a dirty looking man at the very least in his fifties urinating openly against the corner of the bus stop. I said in shock, "You dirty git". His unbelievable response was "I was only having a piss love" said in a tone implying that I was massively overeacating.
The strange thing was the bus stops backs onto a church with grounds so instead of doing it in there he chose to do it in full public view at a bus stop. Disgusting.

@oneglassandpuzzled wow lucky you! But guess what not everyone is just like you. I’ve had to alfresco wee my entire life. I wish I didn’t but that’s my body. Much worse now I’ve started an early menopause. Lots of people have bladder issues. Welcome to the world.

I think the problem is some parents teach their kids that peeing in public is an acceptable option rather than something you only do in an emergency. To be honest, I don't like kids peeing in public (unless like I say it's an emergency). Maybe it's because I had a girl first but I never taught her that she could just pee in public and so I didn't teach my son that either. Neither have ever done it.

It seems grown ups do what they are allowed to do as children. School should let them go inside in my opinion. Does the school admin know about the problem?

I saw a man on our common giving his children loo paper to go in the woods where couples have their wedding pictures taken. The toilets were open.

Also, every day men pee in the open on our common when the toilets are open and completely ignore passers by or even pee by the flats across the road from us. A huge poo had to be excavated from our outside drain. All very unpleasant.

At that age alot of kids still can't hold it for long, so unless you want alot of kids wetting themselves then not much option. My 8 year old still can't either and despite him going to the loo before we leave the house we regularly have to stop off at a bush or he will wet himself before he gets to school or get home. He does have additional needs though. This was a regular issue at preschool but as it was precovid luckily we had access to a toilet then. I also had to find a bush for my now 9 year old till he was 7, now I don't know if thats a normal sort of age to gain control over your bladder as they both have additional needs. But trust me, the parents are embarressed about it and would rather it didn't happen because I always am.

Also my friends little still has problems with this and shes 8 but again with additional needs

I must say, if it was happening regularly I would make arrangements - e.g. bring a bottle or even bring a nappy for them to hold in front of them and wee into/onto. I'm very sympathetic to the idea of not being able to always hold it all the time, but it's not an emergency if it happens every day/week.

Depends if it's on grass or pavement. I think if it's grass it's fine.

we're lucky enough theres a bush on root and grass verge so really discreet

@PerspicaciousGreen

I must say, if it was happening regularly I would make arrangements - e.g. bring a bottle or even bring a nappy for them to hold in front of them and wee into/onto. I'm very sympathetic to the idea of not being able to always hold it all the time, but it's not an emergency if it happens every day/week.

Omg a bottle is frigging genius. Thank you. We regularly can't make it home. He has a wee at school but then they get their costs on etc and wait for us to come down then chat to teacher and back up slope and then it's just under a mile if we do nothing else. A bottle would solve the whole scooting down thing as he doesn't pee standing up

How horrible! I wouldn't be comfortable with this at all. I have never let my DS wee anywhere except for on a toilet since he was toilet trained, and he has never wanted to. I once looked after my DS's friend for the day and took them on a trip, and when we arrived and parked in a multi-storey car park, DS' friend got out and did a wee in front of my car against the wall of the car park and said his parents always let him do that. I was horrified!

YANBU. I'm with you, it's disgusting. I get that very occasionally there's a desperate situation and kids can't help it... but that's once in a blue moon.

It's people being arrogant and thinking that they can do whatever they like and everyone else should just have to put up with their grossness. Same as spitting on the pavement. Ew.

It's not great, but at the minute, they wouldn't want extra kids in the toilets.
My son has had a wee, up a tree, from time to time, when he declared he needed the toi as a toddler, he couldn't hold it long.
One thing there needs to be more public toilets, in our city, there aren't many and at the other side of town from where I shop. We had some closer, but they got closed down. Now you cannot even use the ones, near a cafe (inside a shop) so finding a loo, is tough going. It's a 30 and bus trip home, so it's a bit of trek, when desperate for the loo.
My son is 14 now so he doesn't go in public.

To encourage them to pee up something the school cleaners and bin people have to touch is a bit disrespectful. I can't get worked up over doing it up a tree or in some bushes where nobody has to put their hands though.

It depends. My DS is 3 and if he needs to go and we're out (now there are no public toilets open) I'll take him to go against a tree or a wall. Otherwise he won't be able to hold it until we get home.

I would say it depends how old the kids are and if it's a regular planned thing or a one-off.

I’m always amazed how boys (and men) seem not to be able to have any bladder control and must pee outside sometimes, whereas for the most part girls (and women) manage to control it until they can get to a toilet.

My 2 year old once weed up my leg as we waited outside school for his brother.
We are very different to the French! I once witnessed a traffic cop who was directing traffic at a crossroads, whip it out and have a wee in front of 4 different lanes of traffic. I was quite impressed with his multitasking but did wonder where he was going to wash his hands.

Who cares!! Kids have small bladders and potty training is hard :(

Peeing down drains isn't ideal either as the pee goes into the water courses with the rainwater.

You think animals don’t pee in surface water?

It’s all treated before you drink it.